Working on revising my story, any thoughts for this bit? I'm wanting to know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong
#More feedback
warped swift
modern briar
Interesting scene. I like it, but I tweaked it a bit. Here's what I ended up with:
Everything around me was pitch black, though the darkness was somehow blurry…nothing to see and nothing to hear. Nothing to feel either, for that matter. No pressure beneath me, though that wasn't a bother—rather, a sense of ease, floating through an endless void.
Without a thought in my mind, I raised my hand in front of me, but could hardly make it out. My hand floated in a circle through the void, contacting nothing. I had no feeling of touch, nor was I even aware of which way I was facing.
I twisted and turned a few times, or at least I assume I did. Though dazed, I finally began to see something in the distance, less a sight than just a sense of something else being here. A faint light? I couldn't even make out the color.