#The Scarlet Soldier (rough draft)

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balmy condor
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Oh boy finally sharing this w ppl is quite scary...

Title » The Scarlet Soldier
Genre » superhero/comic book camp
Warnings » Porn addiction
Word count » 9,843
What number draft is this? » Technically 2 (sometimes I edit as I write)
Are you looking for critique? » Yes pls this is my first story I need all the help I can get.
Are reviewers allowed to comment on your document? » Yes, just keep it respectful and more importantly useful to help get the story in better shape.
Link » https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jjxN-_bY8hRepzNJLHuuLZm2VU3F7CguGxbUB-hjDhE/edit?tab=t.0

NOTE: The illustrations are incomplete, and considering this is just a draft, there was zero thought put into the design of the page and how the illustrations would blend with the text, so with that in mind the visual presentation a bit of a mess.

Google Docs
The Scarlet Soldier DRAFT

I know a broken man when I see one. I’ve seen many of them throughout my hundreds of years. Even before I perished, before my soul inherited this blade that you carry, I have witnessed what no man alive could even imagine. I have tamed beasts and contained forces of nature. I have seen the worl...

potent sigil
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Nicely done. It reads like a manga. The best recommendation I have is finding a better balance writing about the person behind the mask. I assume you've seen a fair share of superhero movies. The best superhero movies were about the person, such as Tony Stark (Ironman) or Peter Parker (Spiderman). Audiences connect with that more than say, Suicide Squad where we don't really know these character outside of the superhero persona. They are superhero pure plays and more one dimensional and therefore less interesting. Just keep this in mind and try to give us the man behind the mask a bit more to strike a better balance.

Also, I like the word count. All the way into the end of you first confrontation, you have over 4,000 words. It's a good word count for a chapter.