Obscurus and Cherry- Short Story | Words Alike | Page 1

hearty forum Nov 1, 2023, 7:50 PM

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Starting with my only non-horror story
Title: Obscurus and Cherry
Genre: Fantasy
Warnings: Death, discussions of death (both are vague)
Word Count: 2,148
Draft Number: Finished
Are you looking for critique: Sure!
Are reviewers allowed to comment on your document: Yep
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ztHge0Si3nlWazuy4APUKceuJQnhS2m58hOw2dqmKy4/edit?usp=sharing

Google Docs

Obscurus and Cherry- WA ver

I stir as I feel a hand, not on me, but on my temple, my place of worship. There’s a pause before any movement, then someone enters. I hadn’t opened my eyes in decades, maybe in centuries, as no one had visited me in longer. I did so now. It was bright, sunlight coming in from cracks in the roof...

plain salmon Nov 2, 2023, 12:12 PM

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Lovely little story! A very nice meditation on the relationship between the characters. I liked the voice of both characters and how they related over the arc of Cherry's life. And I also really liked how the stakes in the story were purely emotional -- despite significant fantasy and fantastic elements, it's all about companionship and community (for Obscurus) and growing up / finding oneself (for Cherry).

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I don't have a lot of notes -- nothing I can think of I would change or suggest. It was a story with real heart and I was glad to read it!

hearty forum Nov 2, 2023, 2:40 PM

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Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it

potent panther Nov 2, 2023, 8:37 PM

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That story made me cry of happiness, honestly

hearty forum Nov 2, 2023, 9:31 PM

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Thankie catblush

potent panther Nov 3, 2023, 1:04 AM

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^w^

stray ridge Nov 9, 2023, 6:58 PM

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This story is so wholesome! 👍🏾

#Obscurus and Cherry- Short Story