Nice little story! This is ahead of almost everything I've seen here, with actual conflict, beginning / middle / end, competent writing and dialog and all that!
This was good!
Also it had a solid premise and conflict. All the basic ingredients.
I liked the main character's weary voice and brutal combat approach; the story did a good job of establishing how overpowering she was. I especially liked her italicized asides which served as her internal counterpoint to her otherwise awesome life. I especially liked "cheap conditional immortality" which helped explain that her confidence was, to some degree, bravado and the guard's concern was (to some degree) justified.
I also liked the way the story represented vampire mind control as a kind of overpowering presence and command.
In terms of criticism, I guess her suicide at the ending felt a bit like something that happened because there wasn't anything else (all the antagonists were dead), and to the extent anything had been set up, it was that her life was somewhat purposeless.
It wasn't bad or anything, but it didn't carry much impact, either.
One thing I think you did well, but didn't do much with, was give the three assassins their own character. Each one was distinct and you did a very good job of kind of establishing some degree of personality to them -- I liked that, but I also felt like their presence in the story was largely voiceless and perfunctory.
For a 6-page short, that's fine, but I wonder if giving one of them a chance to confront the MC with their reasons for going after her wouldn't be a productive scene? Maybe not, but you seem to have a talent for deftly drawing secondary characters -- put that to use somewhere.
I also feel like the bored immortal is something of a cliche. I am NOT necessarily anti-cliche, especially in short fiction where you want the reader to get the idea instantly, and there's nothing inherently wrong with telling stories that have been told before
robust flower
echo walrus