#I'm tired
floral umbraBOT
storm stirrup
hey anon, i read ur previous conf asw and it sounds like you are going through a lot. you dont need to downplay your feelings and emotions and feel as if they are ''insignificant'' in any way. i understand it can be difficult to validate yourself especially when u feel like u dont even have any ''real'' problems, but the truth is, if its hurting you esp to the extent where its making you suicidal, then a problem exists. i will be honest with you, i cannot imagine what it is like to feel the way you are feeling but from an outsiders perspective it does seem like you are isolating yourself a lot and perpetuating the feelings of lonliness that u have. like u mentioned u feel said that you will be left all alone bec u are the youngest, but then u also distance urself from all ur friends and from making meaningful connections with people who care about you. anon, i understand this is something so many people to do when they fall into depression, but you need to know that the fact that people who still love you and care about you and reach out to you like your friends, and ur parents who tell u they love u despite everything, is proof enough that they understand and love u even when you feel distanced and unable to express your love in a similar way. it is okay to still feel everything you feel despite having support, it's totally normal. you don't control your feelings so stop blaming yourself consistently for them. yes, it would help you a lot to get therapy and i understand it can seem super impossible to get in the situation u are. try saving up some money and then finding a legit therapist through websites or apps.
i know you are really tired, and i cannot imagine how much emotional turmoil u must have gone through to reach points of attempting. but ur also very brave for surviving, still caring to not hurt your parents, and ur loved ones. anon, i truly wish u the best and i hope you are able to access the help u deserve along with the support of ur friends and family. im obviously supposed to tell you not to attempt and to ''just keep living, it get's better'' but i know life can really pull you down to beneath the ground sometimes and it feels like there's no way of coming out. but, i do know that ending it all is not the right solution ever. i truly hope there is a part 3, or a part 4, and so on, until something works out for you, instead of no confession from you
please also stay away from the drugs and alchol, ik it seems like a real good alternative, but it genuinely does worsen shit and u do NOT need that
as for you being in the closet, it's okay if your parents don't support you. if you feel like they could reach some sort of understanding with you if you talked to them about it, then try communicating with them in small steps. you still have friends, siblings, and so many other ppl who would be willing to stand up for u.
p.s im sorry i dont know any good wlw movies 😔
u can dm me if you need, even though i have terribly fallen off from my good advice giving days of anon conf
vagrant heath
mystic scarab
forget about the world and eat a meal that you love. for me when i was in a simliar place like urs just resting one day by going to the movies and eating food i love helped it gave me strength for another day. simple things can do wonders dk if ya like doing things alone but this helped me and hope you find ur joy too enjoy simple things<3
sinful drift
Watch rezero