i hate my life

[dry vale]

Anon, please get rid of this person from your life in any way you can. Slowly distance yourself from them till you can cut off because NOBODY absolutely NOBODY has the right to treat you this way. You are not embarassing or cringe, you're just happy and having fun. It fully sucks that people see someone having fun or making a really stupid joke however stupid or corny or whatever it is as 'cringe'. It's not, you're fully just enjoying yourself and caught up in the momment and thats absolutely okay. Also so what if you're a yapper?? You can SPEAK. you don't need to have permission to be enthusiastic or want to talk about anything, thats completely okay? You're fine really! If a person gets bothered by you 'yapping' far too much then they're clearly not someone you should stick around. I can assure you I have a friend who I send 50+ texts a day and even though she gets tired when she's usually responding she doesn't ever EVER feel the need to go "you talk too much" in an insulting way. Yeah I do, but thats ok theres really nothing wrong with wanting to talk at all. Finding a purpose in life isn't something that comes overnight or with a snap of your fingers. It will take a VERY long time honestly and maybe you might not even find it at all, but even if you don't find it theres no reason you should give up and sulk over what you couldn't find or what you weren't able to come to. Don't think too far into the future, its good to have a heads up and consider possibilites. But don't let the fear of whats to come consume your thoughts at all times. Don't let the future rob you of your fleeting time. Don't let what might happen mentally corrupt you. In the most respectful way possible though, please leave your 'bsf' the way they treat you is godawful and no one has the right to ever do this to you ever. You can always always work on yourself. It's always an option and you can always get there, you'll definently struggle a lot at times but recovery isn't a straight path

Yeah improving yourself and working on yourself can be taxxing and sometimes you'll probably wonder if it's even worth it, if its really even going anywhere? but the first step you take to trying to improve yourself is the hardest and one of the biggest because it shows you're ready to change. BUT as long as you aren't changing the parts of yourself that truly make you who you are. I don't want you to stop being 'cringe' or 'embarassing'. I want you to continue having fun, I want you to be happy, I want you to enjoy yourself. I really do not give a damn if others think you're cringe. YOU. ARE. ALLOWED. TO. BE. HAPPY. Genuienally so WHAT if someone thinks you're cringe? Is it the end of the world?? They need to move tf on and leave you alone. It's going to be REALLY VERY difficult to ignore these kinds of people honestly, they have VERY strong opinions and never seem to want to change it but theres not much you can ever really do about it, people do things without reason. If its funny or entertaining they'll do it. I'm telling you its going to be so hard to ignore them but you kind of just have to I guess? Please try to do what you can to get away from people who affect you negatively like that friend of yours, I really really cannot explain how terrible this is because seriously if they are your friend they CAN'T treat you like that??? It's horrendous to treat anyone like that. Backhanded compliments are SO goddamn rude she literally has NO right to be saying anything like that. Also don't feel the need to apologize for wanting to vent or for those typos. I literally have like 900 over here rn but you probably didn't even notice (unless its a super bad typo) and even if you did notice, did it affect you at all? No it didn't theres REALLY no need for you to apologize about anything like that ok? Take care of yourself anon, do what you can and you come first most importantly. This is YOUR life not anyone elses, live it how you want and really love yourself ok?