venting

[summer solar]

Thanks

[graceful gull]

But in all seriousness, if you need any kind of help, feel free to talk here or DM someone who you think can help you out.

The point is to talk and express yourself instead of keeping it all bottled up and repressing

We're all pretty much one big family. 💜

[lapis zephyr]

What type of shit is that to say

[graceful gull]

the kind

[lapis zephyr]

“Before i took my girls virginity”

W o w

[graceful gull]

You're never getting a girl with that attitude my friend

You might be on your way to a registered sex offenders list

[summer solar]

?

What?

@graceful gull sex offender?

[torpid lynx]

Take the convo elsewhere

[summer solar]

How?

k

[graceful gull]

The key point being: Treat people with respect. Don't objectify them please.

[summer solar]

I don't...

I mean I treat them with respect

and I don't objectify them

[torpid lynx]

Again, take this elsewhere

[empty trout]

Or how about this

End this convo here

[torpid lynx]

And enjoy hot chocolate!

[lapis zephyr]

@torpid lynx donate me hot chocolate nibba

[empty trout]

Start talking about cookies and hot chocolate in #chat-lounge now

[tight egret]

I am so depressed rn

And confused

And this has been happening to me quite slot lately

Which is not gd because it is bringing back all the bad memories

And I cried alot too these days

I just feel like I ruin everything

I just can't can't be happy

Because iam not happy with anything in my life rn

I feel like a disappointment

And iam not loved

I give alot to people and and never give up on anybody
But when smthn happens to me I have no one by my side

[lapis zephyr]

huh?

[tight egret]

I get played with alot

[lapis zephyr]

If you do good you shouldnt expect a return

[tight egret]

Read it again

I meant I never do bad to them

[lapis zephyr]

"I give alot to people and and never give up on anybody
But when smthn happens to me I have no one by my side"

ogh

mb

@graceful gull

[tight egret]

But they do me bad

And I don't understand it

All the sentences I wrote might not correspond to each other

But those are the things that am feeling rn

[cosmic ginkgo]

@tight egret sis, it's gonna get better and we're all here for you whenever you need it

If you wanna talk DM me about it anytime

We believe in you alright?

Just keep your head up and keep going, smash through the exams and show life who's boss

[graceful gull]

@tight egret I can relate to that on a spiritual level

[keen kestrel]

Guys im struggling..................

[outer isle]

wit what

[keen kestrel]

I want to be a mod but no one is making me a mod

[outer isle]

too bad

[torpid lynx]

@keen kestrel Let's go to #chat-lounge or DMs.

[keen kestrel]

ok

[feral hearth]

@tight egret ik the msges are from yesterday

but

i feel the same

[lavish geode]

@keen kestrel stop begging

it's not even fun

u don't get anything

[lapis zephyr]

Just sleep as much as u can

[lavish geode]

Same

Watch noel Miller @mild compass

[lapis zephyr]

Thats some of the worst advice ive heard

[lavish geode]

Stress travels away

React with chat

[tight egret]

I dont fit in
Iam such a weirdo

[short shoal]

you are a good person and i sympathize with you and can relate. be patient ❤️

[empty trout]

@tight egret Everyone's weird in their own ways

And fitting in is something not everyone can do indeed

But that's not something you should worry about

Just do your thang

Be yourself

Whether people like it or not

Just think about yourself first

[muted pond]

@tight egret what exactly do u mean by don't fit in?

Is it that you don't have many friends or people don't talk to you much

What UWU said is right

But I myself started fitting in and making friends via interaction that was fueled by myself

For example, there's a team competition. I would discuss and strategies with my teammates, which would eventually become my driends

That way those people get to know you better and vice versa

There is no such thing as 'normal'. if you are what people define as normal then let's be honest that's weird.

Regardless of what makes you think you're weird there is something unique something special something different about you and you need to be proud of that, don't hide it

[lapis anchor]

Being normal is like being a chameleon. You adapt to what is deemed normal in different environments. What sets a chameleon apart are those who don’t restrict themselves to what is deemed normal and if someone points it out or, treats you differently because you don’t “fit in”, they’re jealous of your courage. Uniqueness and individuality is very important towards your character, and it shouldn’t be pushed down.

There’s always someone in the crowd that will notice your uniqueness, and often you find better relationships with people by being yourself, then to force yourself to be “normal” or, figuratively use a file to sand off your “quirkiness” for the purpose of fitting in. Normal is a pretty relative term so, normal means different things for different people: Brushing your teeth in the shower? Normal for some. Not normal for me.

Everyone has their own expectations and aspirations for themselves and even towards the people they interact with. Don’t let their own perceptions affect you and how you see yourself.

[muted pond]

@tight egret

[lapis anchor]

Being society’s normal is like being a mere cattle in a herd. Nothing extraordinary.

[muted pond]

You're* @lapis zephyr

[tight egret]

Omg thank you guyss so much for the support

I freakin love you guys even though i dont know u

[empty trout]

@tight egret I don't need to know you that deep to love you the way you are ma girl

💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜

[tight egret]

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[graceful gull]

😄 glad to see the positivity in here

[empty trout]

Yes

That is why I am here

[lapis anchor]

🅱 even though I don’t know you either I’d still roll up my sleeves against any person who shows hostility towards you

[feral hearth]

i dont know who needs to hear this but ily

[chrome oasis]

cute :')

[feral hearth]

idk i'm feeling good rn

@chrome oasis spam

come

[cosmic ginkgo]

Aww

[clear breach]

can u cure me

when its time to sleep, i dont wanna sleep, and when its time to wake up i dont wanna wake up

pls help

[muted pond]

JUST DO IT

Really, you have no other choice. Try moving your schedule bit by bit every day.

This is the problem with some of our school systems. They are aligned with the timing of offices and the modern working times while most teens have a tendency to sleep late and wake up late.

Then again if this was to be changed (which will likely never happen) teens may delay their sleep even further, or not be prepared when they finally move to real life

So if u sleep at 2 AM next day sleep at 1:30 AM

Eventually get to a time such that when you wake up in the morning it suits your needs or whatever you do and you don't need an alarm to wake up

That's how you find your perfect sleep time @clear breach

[clear breach]

where did u copypasta this from @muted pond

[muted pond]

Nowhere

I just made it up right now @clear breach

[clear breach]

noob

why

[muted pond]

Also I read articles and watch YouTube videos and stuff

[clear breach]

u wasted s0 much time

[muted pond]

?

I had time to waste

Lol

[clear breach]

do productive stuff like play games

[muted pond]

Ok brb I have no time to waste

[clear breach]

now we r talking

[muted pond]

I am fast at typing @clear breach

70 WPM

That paragraph took me barely 2 minutes... That's nothing. What matters is whether it helped you or not

[clear breach]

but

i want to sleep

[muted pond]

Sleep then

[olive basin]

How fast can u type?

[muted pond]

Cause u got wings

[olive basin]

Demn

Dets fast

I can only do 50-60

XD

[vivid coral]

i always hit 69 wpm

im not even joking, of all numbers why this one

[muted pond]

Same

But I round it to 70

@vivid coral

[olive basin]

Waaaaaaaa

[muted pond]

Not interested

[olive basin]

I N T E R E S T I N G

[muted pond]

Do with yourself

@flat quail

No

[vivid coral]

nah

[cosmic ginkgo]

Guys this channel is not the place for this, take your chats out of here please.

And this goes to all of you.

[clear breach]

U guys need mental support

[sand haven]

help

me

😩 😭

[muted pond]

@sand haven ?

[sand haven]

I am sed and crying internally again again like a bitch

i am not jk but Titanfall 2's story made me cry

and it's end credits

😢

cant stop

[muted pond]

Don't worry it will pass

[sand haven]

this has happened to me before

[muted pond]

Then you know what to do

[feral hearth]

ok

@sand haven

dis happened to me

too

after i finished Life is Strange Before the Storm

😭

i mean

😭

[civic bronze]

For anyone who needs to be reminded that you were the result of a 1 in a million chance - you are a beautiful, unique human meant for so much on our little blue planet. ❤ Thank you @supple atlas

[sand haven]

https://tenor.com/view/tears-sad-crying-cry-gif-3556278

[vivid coral]

i hope this helps

https://gyazo.com/5f41dfaa4c1068a6e45a2b05c842504e

[sand haven]

thank u

my autism is now gone

thank u so much

[vivid coral]

👏 bravissimo

[sand haven]

even my cancer is gone to stage 1 from stage 4

[vivid coral]

i have failed

it is meant to progress to the penultimate stage cinq

[chrome oasis]

@vivid coral @sand haven guys this is not the channel for a conversation like this, take it to #chat-lounge or #semi-colon or #559409845300756496

[olive basin]

Wats skedaddle?

[chrome oasis]

not the place for this question, @olive basin @mild compass, #semi-colon or #chat-lounge

[olive basin]

Kay XD

[supple atlas]

What

And

True :(

[mild compass]

so how do u get unnecessary thoughts out of my head … like im not good enough to become someone or something in life

like I have A level bio comp sci and phy .. idk wht to move on in which career field

and I feel depressed after ppl just giving me wrong recommendations and making me do wrong choices in life

[sand haven]

Same with me

[mild compass]

I am literally destroyed by being forced to choose others opinions over mine

[sand haven]

Just think about them in your mind "fck you"

Like that's what I do

Or just say on their face

And just do whatever u like

Don't listen them completely, but at least think about them what they are saying but also don't follow them blindly

[mild compass]

I had to come from UAE to PAK after my AS and had to do A2 here … so I didnt know schools here much

my cousins suggested a school .. got enrolled to find out there is literally 6 boys and me as one girl

[lapis zephyr]

whats wrong with 6 boys and a girl

[sand haven]

What that's the whole population of that school

[mild compass]

no proper a level teachers

[sand haven]

Ok don't feel offended or something like that

But PAK is not really that good place to study

[mild compass]

aa... its a all boys school … but high school is girls and boys …. fsc had 34 kids in there … AS had 27

[sand haven]

I could be wrong

[supple atlas]

I wish there were 6 girls and me as one boy in my school

[sand haven]

Because I don't know about that place much

[lapis zephyr]

John is not a child of god

he watches the haram videos

[sand haven]

But seriously @mild compass u had to choose PAK?

Ur parents chose that location?

[mild compass]

i had family issues... so i had to come back to PAK .. had no other choice

[sand haven]

[lapis zephyr]

You want her ssn as well?

[mild compass]

i failed in A2 maths twice

I've started to give up now .. dont know what i should do now

now i took Bio instead … since i had it in AS ...

but its taking a toll …...

[sand haven]

Maybe confront your parents and tell the truth that there is no scope here (as you already told no good teachers)

[mild compass]

idk if i did right now ….

i did tell them but .. the teachers didnt accept and said i was not studying right

and i got A and Two Bs in AS

[sand haven]

Take CBSE in Pak. Ez as shit. You cram everything and done

Teachers nowadays are libtards

They don't listen

Good teachers are now rare

[olive basin]

Ikr

[lapis zephyr]

"teachers nowadays are libtards"

[mild compass]

i had such good teachers in UAE … im still in touch with them and they care so much

but they cant help me rn so ..cbse isn't accepting igcse students anymore here idk why tho

[tropic knoll]

@mild compass Central Board of Secondary Education

@mild compass don't ever go to cbse after IG

@mild compass yes

indian board

[cosmic ginkgo]

IG and AL have more critical thinking while CBSE has more content

[tropic knoll]

u wanna eat and vomit (in the sense mug and paste) then CBSE if for u

wait it is?

i thought it's in IND and Dubai only

[cosmic ginkgo]

Dubai? That was just CBSE- international which is now scrapped

[mild compass]

there are indian school in PAK ….. but I've mentioned it knowing the rule from UAE ….

however im in A level … so thts kinda impossible for me

and there is no way im coming out of it alive 😅

just dk when my brain will let go of useless thoughts of having no future

[mild compass]

save me someone

lol

[zinc surge]

How NOT to feel suicidal and sad

[mild compass]

take anti depressants

[olive basin]

Will det work?

[mild compass]

usually yeah

but u might get erectile dysfunction

[subtle sundial]

How do u know that?

U tried it?

[olive basin]

Oof

smh

[mild compass]

how to not be a puppet to others ? and break free chains tht bound me

[south stag]

those chains are virtual... they are not real

empowerment and determination, with some swagger will allow you to break these chains

remember the limitations of your mind are not real, your limitations are what bound you. limitations are self inflicted, a figment of depression and anxiety, these chains are symbolic of your suffering

what causes these chains? i, myself, am not aware, but you know deep inside what you have to do to propel yourself forward

best of luck @mild compass , remember that your chains will disappear when you want them to. you are bound to nothing except to your insecurities

[empty trout]

Your own thoughts, insecurities or traumatic experiences-

[mild compass]

@south stag thank u ... Hope I get thru this alive ... But IG I'm more of a over thinker which makes it worse ..

[south stag]

u will get throught this! believe in urself

i don't know u, yet i believe in u!

[sand haven]

⭐

[mild compass]

yes

anyone here

;-;

@empty trout

[empty trout]

Yes

[mild compass]

so you see

it all started when i was 1 year old

i use to live in my grandma's house

u there @empty trout

[empty trout]

Yeah

[subtle sundial]

I'm here

I'll listen

[mild compass]

so when i was about 8 i shifted to new house

whereas my sibling was in grandma house

i didnt use to study , i always loved watching cartoon

but in the end i always got cool marks since my helped me do my papers in exams

i use to watch tv 24/7

basic haffizz or toonami shows

from aftershooll to 3 am

then i get anime thoughts during classes

so i never knew what the teacher was teaching

A playstation 2 at the time and other gaming equipment i had

my mom use to bother and beat me and i did to my dad followingly

[subtle sundial]

U beat ur dad?

[mild compass]

even though he was a welll educated man , uk experienced senior doctor

yes

when i was younger

i knew little

[subtle sundial]

And he used to let you?

[mild compass]

he was just innocent e.t.c

too innocent

he was an easy target for young me

[subtle sundial]

So now u get bad grades?

[mild compass]

but after that my sibling didnt let me study at a level

das all

;_; and i sed

it would had been different if i was an uber driver

but sports and all that for no reason

how you expect me to score better than sena

[empty trout]

um

[subtle sundial]

That's really sed

[empty trout]

anyone can score better than me

[subtle sundial]

I hope u find inner peace

And move on in life

No one can beat sena

I've tried

Doesn't work

[mild compass]

i was hoping to run away

to uk

and kill a guy

so no one can come and get me

there

and i can live in peace

in solitary confinment

@subtle sundial

[subtle sundial]

How will u go to UK?

[mild compass]

passport

i have dual nationality

and using brokerage account money

@subtle sundial

[subtle sundial]

Ur parents will let u go

?

[mild compass]

id run away

when i should be 18

[subtle sundial]

U have the money to do that?

[mild compass]

yes

[subtle sundial]

Ok good luck

[mild compass]

Run always and do what @mild compass

Away *

Running away solves nothing ... U will feel guilty as u mature up ...
Living alone brings more hard ships ... Hard tasks and burden that u can't share with anyone ...

Believe in ur fate ... And let's change slowly ... Surely u can be different and better than the u right now

[lavish geode]

@wise flower shoutout to all the people, dont say you're depressed when you're not 👏🏻 👏🏻

[unreal oak]

@lavish geode ok, but why did you tag her?

[wise flower]

@lavish geode why'd u tag me?

I agree with u but..?

[mild compass]

Honestly I believe only the ones who know how much it hurts can help others who r going thru a tough time

[sand haven]

hmm

[wise flower]

@mild compass agreed.

[lavish geode]

@wise flowerdo you smoke

[wise flower]

@lavish geode no..

[torpid lynx]

@lavish geode Why did you tag her?

[lavish geode]

To ask

[torpid lynx]

That’s not a question

And with depression, a lot of the time, it’s that confusion that makes it worse

That fear of not sure if it’s depression or not. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make comments like that

[sand haven]

[lavish geode]

@torpid lynx she sent that statement a long time ago

I just copy pasted it

[tawdry star]

Right, but why now?

[lavish geode]

Lag

[sand haven]

XD

[tawdry star]

Lag?

[sand haven]

yes lag

(l)igma (a)nd (g)amer girl wather bath

lag means this

[lavish geode]

@tawdry star - @sand havendoesnt represent me

[torpid lynx]

Take this kind of unserious conversation elsewhere

[mild compass]

@crystal steppe still waiting for you to be here

[sand haven]

suicide isn't the answer to anything

[lavish geode]

Their*

[mild compass]

how to stop breaking down over my hard luck and losses

Bro @mild compass Wúť happened

??

longgg story

@mild compass

Bro

Everything gonna be alright

Can you tell me something about ur hard luck and losses

@mild compass

hehe … well starts when i came to pak after AS … had a major subject changed since the school i enrolled to told me to do so... teachers didnt help … failed maths twice … and now thinking that i have no future

Wúť subjects u have

??

and now doing bio instead of maths … and no one helps me have a future

Bio Phy and Comp Sci

U have three subjects

Which subject you like the most

Among these three

??

bio … thats why i choose it over maths

[vivid coral]

@mild compass dont give up... burn the midnight oil if you have to, but make sure to be productive and practice past year papers

everyone has a future, it's just a question of what it is and how their actions in the present moment will shape it

[mild compass]

idk wht exactly made me give up … but im still trying to make smth out of this @vivid coral

hopefully … i make it thru .. but i cant stop crying bcuz of my past

[vivid coral]

why look behind when you can look at what's in front of you?

[sand haven]

Listen, stop that. I am person who faces depression and anxiety and suicidal thots everytime. But I am telling u to stop it. Instead listen music. And also bear what u have to do. I don't want to do IB but I am doing. If u suffer now there is a brighter future @mild compass

Stop crying

I cry a lot too

But then I realized

There's nothing in it

[mild compass]

i know .. me crying wont solve anything … but facing my critics from a joint family .. i just want to let it out

[sand haven]

Fight with them

Verbally

Not abusing

I fought with my parents once

Now they at least listen to me

[vivid coral]

@mild compass you must consider yourself lucky, you have an education, you have a chance and you have potential. As a completely random stranger, seeing someone resit a subject 2 times is a true sign of determination and hard work. I, myself, find math to be an extremely challenging subject. I worked through 30 sets of past year papers to go from an E to an A. You can do it too!

[sand haven]

Indeed

@mild compass don't lose hope

Whenever u feel sad, try things that lighten your mood

Like whenever I am sad I tease @torpid lynx

And I listen to music

[mild compass]

i too try to keep myself distracted .. so that my mind doesnt go in that direction …

but whenever i sit down to study ...

my heart gives up

tells me im not capable anymore

yet i fight my thoughts

but it still gets the best of me

[sand haven]

You are on a good track

Do what makes u happy

[vivid coral]

@mild compass by failing math what do you mean?

[sand haven]

And express ur best out of u

But also try to never NEVER feel sad

[mild compass]

@vivid coral many ppl broke me by seeing me fail since i never showed bad grades … said pretty harsh things … but i still study o prove them wrong by their words r like burned to memory

@sand haven thank u for motivation .. but i think i need to fix myself before i get motivated to move on

[sand haven]

Also try to study in a cool room. Heated room makes anyone tense

Drink water regularly

Don't eat junk food

[vivid coral]

nobody should ever say harsh things about failing. it is scientifically proven that those who fail, experience more setbacks and therefore are able to succeed in the real world. I have no doubt that you will be successful and not only successful, but also resilient because you have got up many times after failing, only to try again. I don't know you, but I'm very proud of you, for trying, for being strong and for being vulnerable, because not many people are able to speak their minds, myself included.

[sand haven]

That mostly contributes in having a good focus in exams

Failures are masters and genius

I am a failure too

I failed my 9th grade 1st term

[mild compass]

this is my first time failing so badly in a subject @sand haven

@vivid coral .. idk why they said those things even knowing tht i gave my all … but seems like they weren't standing by my side …

honestly i dont know wht made me speak up

bt i have a feeling maybe i was too tired hiding in my thoughts and no doubt

[sand haven]

Listen, never listen to anybody useless

Just ignore

[mild compass]

they make sure i dont ignore them … since one of them forcced me to take admission to school where no one knew anything about a levels … again im forced to take their decisions even if my parent dont want me too

[sand haven]

U listen to ur friends?

About your academics

[mild compass]

not friends … cousins who r actually double master teachers

[sand haven]

Do u find thier advice useless?

[mild compass]

they dont know A level since in the whole family im the only one who is doing A levels

[sand haven]

So don't listen to them

If u find their advice useless

Do u have anyone in contact that is a A level doer and is not doing it rn. Who is done with this

Contact him/her

[mild compass]

my elder brother … but hes in UAE and he is not much of a help

[sand haven]

Contact him

At least tell him ur problem (s)

He might help u

[mild compass]

told him … tells me solve them yourself … face ur problems urself and learn from mistakes tht brought me here

[sand haven]

Well, he ain't wrong

You do something shit, you mess up and u learn

[lapis anchor]

^ You improve the most if you understand the problems yourself.

If you really need extra support to aid you, asking your teacher is always good, or even here.

[wise flower]

We all.are here to help.

[sand haven]

yes

[mild compass]

Thank u

@wise flower

@sand haven

@vivid coral

Thank u for supporting me

I feel better sharing my problems and hearing that I gave a chance still somewhere out there

[sand haven]

: )

[vivid coral]

you will always have a chance :))

[wise flower]

@mild compass anytime buddy. If u want u can dm if ur not comfortable and we can talk there too. It's all upto u, I'm all ears😉

[mild compass]

thanks … @wise flower

[mild compass]

so I told my friends tht im moving on in life and idc bout wht others say cuz I have wasted enough of my time on them .. and my best friend stood up against me saying everything is wrong with me and I should just change back into the same person who couldnt do a thing for herself
i felt terrible
i told her tht im not changing back who depends on others and cant do anything when no one stands by my side
she told me i wont be successful in life .. and i'll suffer forever
and then she ended things with me saying good luck in the future where there is no one to help u

it was the harshest thing to say

i expected her to understand me

i want to change .. so badly

[vivid coral]

why should you change? if they say such hurtful things to you, they're obviously not good for you and for your future, that's why you severed your ties with them in the first place right? how do they know that you'll be unsuccessful in the future? what makes you think that they are better than you? you should not only be proud, but ecstatic because you had the courage to do the right thing for yourself, and that was to move away from your toxic friends. i'm proud of you, and nobody should ever make you change, because the best version of yourself is yourself! 👍

[chrome oasis]

hey @mild compass, listen. it takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but a greater deal to stand up to your friends, and im so so proud of you. you did the right thing. being dependent on everyone for everything isn't a good thing, but you've realised that and you're working on changing yourself, which is a step towards progress.

and don't ever change for someone else, you're going to do amazing in the future, and it will be alright in the end. we're all here for you if you ever need to talk or vent, okay?

[mild compass]

i dont want to be bronken anymore … but idk how long should this world keep making me suffer until its satisfied

broken*

but i have nothing ..no hope ..no faith

[mild compass]

thx @chrome oasis

and @vivid coral

u too thank u

but ig the world aint gonna leave me alone tht easily

[muted pond]

Then make some hope. You've got a whole life ahead of you. What others say shouldn't be enough to take that gift away from you. You can do anything and everything you want if you just put your mind to it. You don't wanna be broken? Don't be. Don't forget that you're not alone and there are others who have experienced, are experiencing what you're going through and a lot of people here can help you out if you ever doubt yourself. However, you shouldn't. Try your best to eliminate these negative thoughts and even if you don't succeed, keep going with your life and your dreams. You are who you are, a unique person and if others can't see and appreciate that, then it's their problem. Not yours. Move on. The pain you faced in the past will make you stronger for the future and what you consider failure will set you up for a more satisfying success. The very fact that you continue to persevere after such events proves you're an excellent person. Don't give up. I will be honest that the initiative to make hope and faith will have to come from within you, but I will also tell you that every ounce or sliver of determination will be worth it. We're here to support you every step of the way if you need it.

@mild compass

You're right, the world won't leave you alone but you still MUST push through

[mild compass]

thanks @muted pond … but I sometimes feel drained out

[muted pond]

Don't be afraid to rest too

If you're completely burnt out, it's what you need... But don't slack off either

[vivid coral]

you need time @mild compass . With time comes clarity and with clarity comes vision.

[muted pond]

^

[wise flower]

It can get tiring, after all u took such a big step! It's not easy standing up.to ur friends. But it was for u. U deserve happiness. Don't worry. That fact that u have the courage to move on, things might start looking up

[chrome oasis]

exactly !! @mild compass yes it looks bleak rn, but there's always light at the end of the tunnel. and you're going to reach that one day. take your time to process things, relax. breathe. take care of yourself, do what makes you happy. have a "me" day every once in a while. you're going to make it through, and when you do, you're going to fuckin shine like the amazing star you are.

[wise flower]

We all here for u..and take care love!

[mild compass]

I wish things were a little bit easier ... And I feel like I'm burdening my pains on u guys

But I promise I'll make it out of this and be the person who I really am

Thank u so much ... @wise flower
@chrome oasis
@vivid coral
And THE @muted pond

[muted pond]

👍

[mild compass]

😊 😊 😊

[muted pond]

No problem, we'll always be here to help.

You just need to ask

[mild compass]

Thank u

[wise flower]

anytime

[chrome oasis]

ofc, and this isn't a burden, not at all !! we're always happy to support you, take care ❤

[mild compass]

❤

[mild compass]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIKFEkO3Qss

[keen kestrel]

Damn will I finally see a good bio teacher 😌

[mild compass]

hopefully trying to be the best one u would ever see

and I want my students to be proud to have me

😊

[mild compass]

yea bio

maybe physics too at some point

but for now bio

[mild compass]

no … maybe a lil …

[muted pond]

Nothing is difficult until you think it is

[keen kestrel]

Starting my computer is difficult

[empty trout]

Starting my day is difficult

[sand haven]

#chat-lounge @keen kestrel

[tropic knoll]

then don't liten to nightcore songs @empty trout

[keen kestrel]

[muted pond]

Starting starting is difficult

[mild compass]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn0Uk4YQv0Q

[keen kestrel]

@mild compass AMAZING, Thanks 😃

[mild compass]

👍 @keen kestrel

[cosmic ginkgo]

Is anyone on?

[mild compass]

Me

@cosmic ginkgo need help

??

[cosmic ginkgo]

I'm fine now, it's alright

Thanks man

[mild compass]

I feel so ded … like im losing all my strength

like I should give up

but imma still fight

i havent given my all yet

[vivid coral]

that's the spirit!

[mild compass]

😄

[mild compass]

Great

@mild compass keep it up

[mild compass]

Thank u @mild compass

an u too @vivid coral

[sand haven]

Is afterlife satisfactory?

[wise flower]

I hopr

[sand haven]

Mental instability

Dark thoughts

Fake happiness

Hollowness

Toxicity

Random anger acts/issues

Is there any end for any suffering

[lavish geode]

Yeah

Get a gf

[wise flower]

That is bs

[sand haven]

Depression and sadness have no end for me

[mild compass]

@sand haven bro take some time everything will be alright

[merry rock]

As someone who was once depressed and know people who've gone through it, yes there is a possibility for you to get through it

@sand haven the key is that it won't go away by itself

you need to work to beat the broken chemistry in your brain, often you'll need someone else be it friends, family or a therapist

[sand haven]

My brain is haywired everytime, multiple thoughts. I feel like my mind is unstable.
I try to do things that make my light but again I feel sad afterwards. @merry rock

[mild compass]

Bro u cant stop thoughts in ur mind but u can distract them @sand haven

[sand haven]

I try my best

But this hollowness eats me

[merry rock]

Always consider going to a doctor. Therapy certainly has it place and can be a powerful tool but if you're brain really can't be fixed in that way (remember it's not you're normal way of thinking it is an illness that you are experiencing) you could consider meds

But before you try that @sand haven

I think mindfullness/meditation is something you really should look into

It's not just woo woo, it can help you learn to deal with these thoughts

And not just ignore them or try not to think about these negative thoughts

You need to acknowledge them when they come and then move back to focusing on the self on your breathing or your heartbeat while meditating, this sort of skill cna be used when you feel negative thoughts are troubling you throughout the day

[sand haven]

Thx man @merry rock, I always try my best to get some fresh air and open space to relax myself with some cool music to calm me.

[vivid coral]

when times are rough turn to jazz comrade, it can never go wrong that way

[sand haven]

I'll check it out thx man @vivid coral

[haughty ibex]

Anyone arnd?

[empty trout]

Yesh

[sand haven]

Hi

[haughty ibex]

Yall ever feel alone?

[unreal oak]

Hey

[sand haven]

Yes

[unreal oak]

@haughty ibex a lot fam

[sand haven]

I do

[empty trout]

Yes, that is one of my friends

[sand haven]

I am always alone

[haughty ibex]

Idk this may sound rlly depressed

[empty trout]

It's okay, let it all out. We're here for you!

[haughty ibex]

Im nt tho like i aint depressed

[unreal oak]

dw about that man

[haughty ibex]

Sm days its jus tough to get out of bed n go to school or whatever

[unreal oak]

ah yeah man ig that feeling

[haughty ibex]

Cuz i get shunned a lot in school fr bein smart...the irony 😂

[unreal oak]

😂

[haughty ibex]

Like nedry kinda

Nerdy*

[sand haven]

lol

[unreal oak]

the 'nerd' stain

happens man

and it fucking sucks imo

[haughty ibex]

N sometimes i jus feel like giving up

[sand haven]

don't

[haughty ibex]

Cuz the expectations r jus sky rocketing

Like woah no mikasa cnt make a mistake if she does the world is gonna end

Thats the attitude

Of ppl arnd me

N its jus a lot of toxic vibes

[sand haven]

ignore them perhaps

[unreal oak]

it's important to learn how to ignore what those ppl say imo

[sand haven]

^

[haughty ibex]

I try

[unreal oak]

i wish i had learnt how to do that earlier

[haughty ibex]

But l8er when i get tired n let my walls down

[empty trout]

People having expectations is like them knowing that you have something they don't

[haughty ibex]

T all jus cms bak

Hmm

[unreal oak]

could have saved myself a couple years of depression

[haughty ibex]

Makes sense

[sand haven]

Just say, I am a human as well I can make mistakes as well

[haughty ibex]

Okay

[empty trout]

Yes, it is completely fine for you to make mistakes

[haughty ibex]

Tbh i dnt care abt exams i jus wanna learn

I love learning n i equally love sports

But it jus doesnt get accepted

[vivid coral]

people are just trying to belittle you so that they feel better about themselves. they're selfish and you should block out those vibes. get rid of that type of negative energy in your life

[empty trout]

But also remember that you shouldn't really live up to others expectations rather just think about yourself

[haughty ibex]

Okay

[empty trout]

It's not easy but trying could lead you there

[haughty ibex]

The feeling of being left out is horrible

Yall agree?

[unreal oak]

if it makes you feel any better, it dosen't really matter if you don't meet ppls expectations

[empty trout]

Yes

[unreal oak]

agreed

i've let down ppls expectations so many times

my igs

my AS

and my A2

[mild compass]

yeah

[unreal oak]

and i'm still alive and kicking

thriving, even

[haughty ibex]

Itll get better eventually right?

[unreal oak]

yeah

[mild compass]

yep

[empty trout]

Yes, of course

[haughty ibex]

Okay

[unreal oak]

you learn to stop giving a shit

[empty trout]

And also one of the best perks of that is

You get to CHOOSE when to give a shit

uwu

[unreal oak]

^^^

[haughty ibex]

😂right that does sound pretty tempting

I guess after a certain no. Of sleepless nights and 18hr days u jus stop caring

[unreal oak]

yeahh

3 years ago the stress and pain kept me awake at tnight

i did 22-23 hrs back then

[haughty ibex]

I cn relate

[sand haven]

I don't sleep

[haughty ibex]

😵

I do i jus tend to wake up wid tears

[sand haven]

I am full of anxiety, sadness and depression

[mild compass]

I also hates sleep

[empty trout]

It's not about hating sleep here

[mild compass]

but u do sleep for 8 hrs

[unreal oak]

These days I get 6-7 hrs

[mild compass]

its good for mind

[unreal oak]

Cos my body needs it to be able to work in the morning

[haughty ibex]

True

[mild compass]

Sleep makes u feel good

[sand haven]

I get 3-5 hrs sleep

[haughty ibex]

Also this isnt rlly study related but cn i ask yall smth?

[vivid coral]

igcse fucked up my sleeping schedule, make sure u sleep well doing exams

[unreal oak]

go ahead dw

[lapis quartz]

@unreal oak bro my mom's like you gotta study for 18 hrs and 4hrs sleep is MORE THAN ENOUGH

[empty trout]

Ah sleep makes me feel shittier when I wake up :/

[unreal oak]

@lapis quartz They're looking from the standpoint of the Indian system

[lapis quartz]

EXACTLY

[unreal oak]

Where the goal is memorization

So your results are a function of time

[lapis quartz]

AND IT FREAKIN ANNOYS ME SO MUCH

[haughty ibex]

Well so my best friend and i havent been rlly talking for the past couple weeks cux of 10th grade n all

[unreal oak]

but here you need to understand it

[haughty ibex]

N usually he takes like 2 hrs off away frm me cuz we talk a lot daily

So like 2 hrs if alone time

But lately we hv barely talked

[unreal oak]

It happens with work and all

[haughty ibex]

N when i need someone to talk to usually he is the firat one i text

But when hes like on his 2 hrs n i need smone hes always told me i shld text

But i feel rlly selfish

To bother him during the only time hes like peaceful n all

Cux i dnt want to bother him wid my mind boggling stuff so what shld i do?

[empty trout]

Ah, I feel the same when I text Korthi

At times like those

I end up typing it all out or writing it all down

[haughty ibex]

Thing is i cnt rlly make any sense of it like its in my head

N ususally hes the only one who cn calm me

[unreal oak]

@haughty ibex imo you should spill to him without holding it in

[empty trout]

^^^^

[haughty ibex]

But sjld i bother him tho?

During his peace time?

[unreal oak]

But if he says he's busy you should respect that no questions asked

[lapis quartz]

he wouldn't mind

true ^^

[empty trout]

^^^

[haughty ibex]

Okay thanks a million u guys

[sand haven]

np

[haughty ibex]

Im not completely ok but i do feel a lot better

[lapis quartz]

it will get better

[empty trout]

No, thank you for sharing a piece of your mind with us!

[haughty ibex]

Feels gud to kno that smone smwhr arnd the world has ma back😂😂

[lapis quartz]

gradually

[sand haven]

Also listen some mujik

[empty trout]

Yuss

[vivid coral]

any time comrade

[sand haven]

sexy chill mujik

[haughty ibex]

Yup music rlly helps i must say

[vivid coral]

listen to jazz

[haughty ibex]

Ill try it definitelg

[lapis quartz]

EDM

[empty trout]

Also try miracle by caravan palace 😦

[unreal oak]

But...don't over do it...

[haughty ibex]

EDM ayyyy

[unreal oak]

I lost one of my closest friends that way

[haughty ibex]

Tru

Nope not overdoin it

[sand haven]

@empty trout Caravan Palace is next level lit

[unreal oak]

It took me 2 years for me to even be able to talk to her again

She's doing really well tho

[haughty ibex]

Oh well good fr her

[unreal oak]

Started her own business, got a bunch of awards

[sand haven]

@haughty ibex
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLn8C5vUju5xPRu8UD9ivmRhmdLiG9_TFB
my playlist, it's mixed tho might help you find good songs idk

[haughty ibex]

Ayyy gal jus slayin it huh

[unreal oak]

Yusss

She flies all over the world now

[haughty ibex]

Thanks😁😁

[unreal oak]

Dubai, Bangkok, London..

[haughty ibex]

I always luv to hear success stories frm girls who nade their own way

Made*

[empty trout]

Maybe join the ZNotes-radio sometimes too 👉🏼 👈🏼 we could listen to music together ;-;

[haughty ibex]

Sure😁 but fr now gotta go

[sand haven]

More like BTS together

[empty trout]

Smh

[haughty ibex]

My bestf is back so maybe lets hope it all goes well wid us

[empty trout]

Have you not noticed my taste yet? ;-; @sand haven

[sand haven]

yeah

BTS BTS BTS

[haughty ibex]

Wish me luck!! Bye u guys thx again

[unreal oak]

@haughty ibex I hope so too for your sake

[empty trout]

:(

[sand haven]

: )

[empty trout]

OO

Yusss

[unreal oak]

Byee np at all

[empty trout]

GOOD LUCK

AND YOU'RE ALWAYS WELCOME

[sand haven]

Why did I saw myself in him/her

I also have sad life

saddest on the earth

[vivid coral]

your life is only sad, if you think of it as sad

[sand haven]

[empty trout]

To whomever comes here to open up, please know that we're grateful for what you've done by opening up to us. We'll be here when you need someone to talk so please know that you're valid and you matter uwu

[unreal oak]

^^^^

[sand haven]

[wise flower]

whats up john

[sand haven]

idk, my life is always life this empty, sad, hollow, no purpose, just study study study.

[wise flower]

we all feel like this. at this point in life it gets so hectic

no purpose

but uve got to know it will get better

[sand haven]

I have lost my sleep

I can't sleep

[vivid coral]

@sand haven bro i heard u laugh in vc and I have to say that you sound like you're full of life and filled to the brim with joy

[wise flower]

whats on ur mind

[vivid coral]

but appearances can be deceiving

[wise flower]

agreed

[unreal oak]

@sand haven IGs does that to you sometimes fam

2 years ago here's how I slep

Cried myself to sleep at 12, got up at 4:45 cos I couldn't sleep after that

[sand haven]

That's just my outter appearance, from outside one can never tell me that I am sad, I feel shit. But inside I am very fucked up

[unreal oak]

That's...that's how it was for me too

[wise flower]

lol i cant cry anymore

well i can

[sand haven]

I have basically mastered the ability to hide my dull looks

[wise flower]

but..dont

what is causing u to feel like this

[unreal oak]

Crying only makes the prob worse if someone sees

[vivid coral]

@sand haven why do you feel fucked up on the inside? if it's too hard to explain, i completely understand... some things cannot be simply expressed by words

[unreal oak]

I..I don't trust anyone enough to let them see me cry anymore tbh

Agreed with @vivid coral

[wise flower]

amen

[sand haven]

study basically, the IB with high thresholds. I know I don't belong here but yet I am doing IB

[wise flower]

education is just fucked up at this point

[sand haven]

ikr

[unreal oak]

Are you sure or is that just impostor syndrome John?

[wise flower]

we have to just live with it

[unreal oak]

Agreed di

[sand haven]

wtf is that

[unreal oak]

It's when you believe all your accomplishments are a fluke

[sand haven]

well, no

[vivid coral]

the thresholds are high for a reason, you will get past those thresholds with study, confidence and obviously a little bit of luck

[wise flower]

HOLY FCUK THAT IS HOW I FEEL

[unreal oak]

And that one day ppl will realize you're actually an idiot

[sand haven]

so far i've come on my mehenat

I also know I can do IB

easily

but I don't want to

[unreal oak]

Why?

[sand haven]

my main interest is in mainly gaming but I am going in commerce field due to my father's pressure

¯_(ツ)_/¯

[unreal oak]

@sand haven hmm

[sand haven]

so I have to do gaming side by side

[unreal oak]

You need a backup career for sure in that case

[sand haven]

too much hectic

[wise flower]

gaming at this point isnt as stable

[sand haven]

Yes

[wise flower]

people are getting laid off like crazy

[unreal oak]

Cos the odds of making it big in competitive gaming are low

[wise flower]

it is understandble

but it doesnt mean u shud completely stop gaming

if u are passionate enough o about. u can surely do it side by side because gaming and gaming develpoment is not stable at rn

[vivid coral]

if gaming brings you joy, i suggest that you take it up as a hobby. perhaps get into streaming for fun?

however, your father wants to see you succeed in life and the best chance of that is by following the commerce stream

[sand haven]

I have the willingness and ability to at least join local level or small level matches to at least get some recongnication. but my skills have drastically detroited due to less time in gaming due to studies

[wise flower]

understanble

try to make a schedule

and see where u can do both

[sand haven]

used to play 6-10 hrs on daily bases now only 1 hr ._.

[wise flower]

6-10 is a bit much now

[sand haven]

i used to ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[wise flower]

ur in nIB. IB is stressful

undesrtable why that much time can not be invested

but try to make a scehdule

itll really help

as long as ur academics arent affected then ur parents shouldnt have a problem with gaming

[sand haven]

I come home at 6pm then tuition for 1.5 hrs then homework then I have no time to relax myself

¯_(ツ)_/¯

[wise flower]

what about the mornings?

[sand haven]

I'll study for 10 hrs daily they won't care, the moment I play for 15 mins they object my activity

8:00 am - 4:30 pm school

1.5 hrs to reach home

so 6

[wise flower]

so why not 7am?

[sand haven]

7 am I have to catch bus, so I have to wake up at 6

staright 12 hr

[wise flower]

weekends?

[sand haven]

weekends I am bit loose

I try to finish all my work then I play

[haughty ibex]

Parents cn b like dat smtimes

Im sure itll get better

[sand haven]

It feels like I want a new life

too much torture

[haughty ibex]

Well hifi me too

But ukw

We gotta fight thru it

[wise flower]

i get it

[haughty ibex]

Cuz we r that strong

[wise flower]

but we cant do anything at this point

itll have to wait

[sand haven]

ik

[wise flower]

cause this system is fucked

and we have to deal with it

[sand haven]

why does everyone NEEDS to be Eisten

[wise flower]

apart from supporting each other we cant do much

[sand haven]

: )

even these words help a lot

[wise flower]

happy to help john

[sand haven]

I don't have a lot of friends, I spend my most of the time on discord

also I am a single child

[wise flower]

well we are your friends.

[sand haven]

so loneliness eats me sometimes

[vivid coral]

i mean i didn't play games for 6 months leading up to IGs

[sand haven]

same

[vivid coral]

and then after my parents don't really give a shit how much i play

[sand haven]

but my do

cries

[wise flower]

happens man

we just gotta help each other out

[vivid coral]

it's ok bro, my father thinks i'm a useless piece of shit

[sand haven]

XD

I myself think that I am a useless piece of shit

¯_(ツ)_/¯

[wise flower]

same

i think i am too

[vivid coral]

you aren't, and I know just by the fact that you're being honest that you're better than the average guy

you too @wise flower , you have taken initiative to help someone out, you are anything but useless

[sand haven]

also I am a massive pu$$y and introvert so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[wise flower]

ahaha i wish

john

there is nothing wring with being an intrvert

dont worry about it

like i said. we all are here to help

[sand haven]

: )

[wise flower]

check the pinned msgs of this channel

[sand haven]

yeah it was done right in front of me

[wise flower]

perfect

[vivid coral]

being an introvert is good, you think things through and you are generally concerned for the well being of others

you're not a pus$$y lmao look at 6b6t chat

[wise flower]

its subjective to everyperson

ur not. the fact that u have opened up here. man that takes guts

[sand haven]

ngl

I resisted suicide thrice in life

[wise flower]

we have all been there

trust me

u have the guts to open. its says a lot about u. and life i stressful i get it. but we all here and u will get thru it. i for one dont have the guts to open up at all. so ur one up already

[sand haven]

thx

[vivid coral]

@sand haven that just shows you're a strong person

[sand haven]

Also I am a bit emotionally weak

[vivid coral]

and i sincerely believe that you are strong at heart, you just need to believe in yourself :)

we are weak for a reason... so that we can learn to be strong

if we learn to be strong and build up from a weakness, that just shows how incredible you are!

[mild compass]

man ur strong and amazing

[sand haven]

I also learnt that these dark, sad, depressed and suicidal thoughts in me won't stop so I'll live with them but ignore them

[wise flower]

evetually the will stop dw

life will get better

[sand haven]

sometimes ou gotta take other way around

[wise flower]

happens

but thats why u have us 😉

[sand haven]

thx comrades

[wise flower]

anytime 😀

[vivid coral]

any time comrade :)

[merry rock]

For the first time in my life I've been very self conscious. Although I'd go through periods of feeling bad about acne and worrying about my hair, this year I've consistently fretted over my appearance and more frustratingly my personality. My demeaner and the way other people perceive me.

I've always acted pretty strange and would openly talk about things like seriel killers or read/watch morbid stuff. On a lighter thing I'd casually say things that make people uncomfortable (e.g. you bones clicking mean they're ready to hatch, or read of a funny/whack copypasta) but still get a laugh out of them Maybe I was a bit too open about this cause it's stuck with both the sort of person people think I am and who I am (even when I've largely stopped participating in meme culture and morbid stuff)

There's this overwhelming part of me, an internal voice, that wants me to shut up, to not act in a way that is strange of different

that makes me regret everything I've said in the past that would've amused me a year ago

It gets to the point I want to not breath and to not swallow cause of the sound it makes

and yet I still act in this way. Still say things no average person would say, still put on this sort of act as a weirdo

And it's not like I'm even being paranoid (to an extent, not breathing was me having an anxiety attack)

people say to me that I'd probably become a serial killer or that I romanticise them (I do any but romanticise those monsters). People talk about how I'm dumb af outside of academia like with basic life skills like public transport and not losing things (me being a constant loser of objects feeds into all my anxiety as well).

I've been deemed kinky guy

told I have the aura of a pedo

these are jokes of course

but it still makes me feel terrible

cause I find it funny af to point out every sexual reference in the english literature we do and to raise my eyebrows and lick me lips when ever it would be funny to (e.g. talking about character Bernard screwing a minor)

[unreal oak]

@merry rock I kinda get what you're talking about

Just a question - have those around you encouraged the behaviour?

(e.g. laughed at the sick jokes)

[merry rock]

I have friends who will riff off my jokes and continue it. I have more who will laugh at it. I struggle to tell if it's a nervous laugh or if they're actually uncomfortable cause people will jokingly say stop or wtf (I can verify that some of these are jokes but l

Just can't for others

And to clarify it's not like people are disgusted by my precense and I'm tryna force people into convoys about murder and sex

I just will make something barely or not at all dodgry into something dogey (e.g. "Wanna try my cookies" opening up a box trying to make it seem odd)

People do find it funny, but when it goes from me saying something weird to me being perceived as someone who would do actually bad stuff. That kinda makes me sad.

Also. I've become worse at choosing who I make these sorts of comments to

So that's a big part of it. The situation filter is completely broken

[unreal oak]

I see

I've DMed you

[haughty ibex]

@merry rock how do u feel now?

[merry rock]

I mean the same-ish

like I do not think I'm depressed

I never feel empty

[haughty ibex]

It’s ok

It’ll get better

[chrome oasis]

what about you @haughty ibex? how're you doing now

[haughty ibex]

I’m better thanks😊

U read my stuff frm yesterday?

[chrome oasis]

yes i did, and just wanted to say that you're so strong, and you will get through whatever you're facing right now, and when you do, you're going to shine like the star you are. ❤

[haughty ibex]

Okay thanks a ton 😊😊

Feels good to have someone

[chrome oasis]

we're all here for you, whenever you need it, always

[bleak edge]

I need some fuking help

igcse results are distributed tomorrow

[sand haven]

What help thou require my homie

[chrome oasis]

@bleak edge breathe, my dude. you are going to do amazing, we all believe in you.

there's nothing you can do about it now, can you? what's done is done, and now all you can do is well, hope for a better future. you're only going to lose sleep worrying about this, and maybe listen to some music? i can send a couple (unfinished tho) playlists if you like

if it will help calm you

okay so here's a playlist. it's nearly 9 hours, and it's a complete mishmash like you've got songs from everywhere and diff languages too. it's kind of like? my vibe? you could say anyways it always helps to calm me during mental breakdowns 👉🏾 😎 👉🏾 so i rlly hope it helps any one of you guys https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0M10HlVdqvIeFoIhvoyxyp?si=2VnO4LsSRKaUg-d_dK04AQ

[lapis quartz]

jeez the first one itself sounds scary

[chrome oasis]

haha it's a beautiful song

i hope it helps someone

[haughty ibex]

How’s everyone feelin?

[unreal oak]

bored

[haughty ibex]

But still sane ryte😆

That’s the more important thing

[lapis quartz]

what a maramandai @unreal oak

😂

[haughty ibex]

Don’t mean to sound noob but what’s doxxed?

[lapis quartz]

I am excited

[unreal oak]

@lapis quartz it's not being bored in itself that's the problem

it's the flashbacks

[lapis quartz]

ahhh

[unreal oak]

i keep seeing them when i'm free

that's why i work so hard

[lapis quartz]

it hurts

[haughty ibex]

Do u wanna vent? @korthi

[lapis quartz]

that's the spirit

[unreal oak]

nah it's fine @haughty ibex

[lapis quartz]

he has vented enough

[unreal oak]

true

[haughty ibex]

Okay

Well don’t worry

We rytehere for u

No matter what

Cuz that’s what comrades do, we stick together for our team

[unreal oak]

aw thanks : )

[haughty ibex]

Hang in thr, it jus gets better 😊

[neat mist]

@haughty ibex, you can't star your own messages.