They mocked me at school, called me a hick, loathed how I talked, and despised how I looked. My father wasn’t home often due to his job. My mother was domineering, and I was vulnerable, looking for a sense of belonging at school. Elena, on the other hand, was someone who accepted me and smiled at me at school with the best of intentions, as she was my only friend.
I previously asked Elena to come to my place to study for the test tomorrow, but the unforeseen death of President John F Kennedy today caused large crowds of people to mourn his death. Although the president died suddenly, I was overcome with guilt because I was unsure whether Elena would arrive today, not even considering his presidency because Elena occupied my thoughts, but who wouldn't be upset if the president died? Knowing this she wouldn't show up, but she still promised she would, so I waited patiently on my bed, slowly drifting off into a slumber as each second passed. I merely woke up to the creaking of the door and footsteps when I realized how long my nap had been, but she had finally arrived. I headed to the door for Elena, but to my dismay, it was my mother.
#Essay feedback (As soon as possible because this is due at 11 pm)
round hemlock
Her unpleasant expression left me curious about what had caused her to appear irritated.
I asked my mother why she was at the door, but she only left me with a vague response: "I just wanted to check whether it would be cold and snowy outside, that's all." As for me, I didn't question her response and simply said alright to her as I walked back to my room, disappointed that Elena wasn't there. Of course, I expected this result, but I remained optimistic because she promised to come over. While I waited, the day faded into night as I watched it from a distance through the window. As my excitement waned, I went to bed.
In the morning, I got ready for school as usual. Elena was always waiting for me on the premises, so I entered the building and proceeded to my locker. Elena, however, wasn't there. Perhaps she had some issues at home that prevented her from coming to school, but as the day progressed, I noticed a familiar figure in one of the classrooms. Elena was there! Why does she keep avoiding me? What might have occurred, then? Elena didn't answer my call when I expected her to; instead, she turned and left. Elena was avoiding me as if I'd done something wrong, so I went over to ask her why she was behaving so foolishly towards me.
I dashed after Elena, who was hiding behind a building. Fortunately, I managed to locate her, grab her hand, and flee as quickly as possible. Why didn't you come in yesterday? Why are you avoiding me? Even though it is terrible, we should discuss it. Elena remained silent for a brief moment before shoving me and taking off running, making it impossible for me to catch up with her.
Like everything else, the moment I let go of what I held dear, only then did I find myself in a prison that I had created. I was hurt, and Elena refused to speak to me whenever we crossed paths. I left school with a glum expression, recalling my memories with Elena. Our mutual love of reading books, impulsively turning pages, and wanting to walk alongside the ink smears in the stories. After a few months, I noticed a decline in my mental and physical performance. I began to fail my classes, my parents, and myself. My feelings lingered for her—her sounds, voice, face, everything about her. The only reason I could be happy in this godforsaken world.
My father then returned home one day to retrieve his belongings. He was always absent in my life and never looked at me or my mother. He used my mother as a scapegoat and splurged on bottles of alcohol. Today was different; he saw me as a failure rather than his son. My father's face erupted in rage, and I found myself on the floor, bruised by the sheer force of his fist.
"What the hell is the matter with you? It's not difficult to get good grades; I worked so hard, yet you are unable to succeed you’re not my son, and you have no worth as a person." I'm sorry, father. Then he barged into the house, took his belongings, and left. "My son, I'm so sorry," my mother sobbed as she ran over to me. You can always tell me about your worries, and I vow to protect you. In response to my mother's affirmations, I started crying. I told her about a girl who was the only person who cared about me and helped me get through school, and one day I invited her to our house in preparation for a test, but she never arrived. We haven't spoken to one another since, and if she sees me, she flees.
I'm weak; without her, I wouldn't be able to do my best, and I had no intention of causing a commotion with father. I’m sorry for disappointing both of you. "Eugene, Elena did come to the house, but I... told her she didn't need to be here because you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself." My mother spoke with tears streaming down her cheeks. What? Your and Dad's presence narrowed and blocked my vision of the world; I finally had someone who cared about me. I desperately needed emotional support, to keep me secure, but I couldn’t get it. I want it to be mine because I can't have it, which makes it seem more valuable. "I only wanted the best for you!" my mother continued. This wasn't what you were looking for, and I apologize. I should not pass judgment on people based on their ethnicity.
“Go to her; I'll be there to back you fully.” In a flurry of bewilderment, I ran to the door, leaving my mother on the ground. I hurried up a dozen stairs to Elena's apartment in the El building as quickly as I could. I came to a stop in room 821 and knocked on the door. To my astonishment, it was Elena! I didn’t want to be immersed in my self-pity; at least, I didn’t want that moment to be now. I began telling Elena everything because it was the perfect time, place, and circumstance for me to do my best. Elena, I adore everything about you and want you in my life; please don't ignore me! Every time we were together, I was shrouded in ecstasy, so please, please!" Eugene, I apologize. From the moment I first saw you, I was smitten. "There was a window where I could see the white table and dangling light bulb; it illuminated you whenever you read the books we got together at the library," Elena said as we both fell from Elena leaping onto me. After months apart, we were finally together, and with our arms around each other, we both laughed joyously.
This is a rewrite on the story American history through Eugene's perspective if anyone has read it before
unreal echo
I have read like the first half and skimmed through the 2nd half. Idk if it's already 11pm on your end today but I am seeing this around 2pm here. Anyways, I would suggest for you to shorten some of your sentences. You have sentences that is difficult to read aloud at least. You can at least lessen the word count of each sentence (10 to 20 is enough). You can cut a sentence into two sentences. The story is interesting and a good narrative. I hope you ace this!