#Is there a place to discuss toxic behavior of community members?

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

torpid peak
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This has happened to me several times now: I come here to ask a question, possibly one that isn't very easy to answer. Someone who's very active in the help channels offers advice. I either don't understand it or it doesn't help me, so I try to get better feedback from them. Which eventually results in them making a personal attack on me.

I've seen this happen here over and over again. Most frequently in the form of "you should ask this question in x channel, not here" only for the question to be completely ignored in the other channel, which is mostly abandoned.
But, more relevantly, it also happens in totally unacceptable personal attacks.

How are victims of these attacks supposed to react?

I've had this happen to me several times in the #💻┃unity-talk channel, by people who are very active there. When a mod got involved, even though I was just asking a question and defending myself from personal attacks, I was told to stop or I would get a warning/ban. Upon trying to talk to the mod I received a further warning that I'm not allowed to disrupt the channel / sent unsolicited DMs.

I fully realize I'm not the easiest person to deal with for most people. I will not accept nor take these personal attacks or false information, from online bullies and/or trolls, I will defend myself and point out how wrong they are. But that then makes me the bad guy.
Especially when a few other regular posters jump on it with stuff like "Just google it ..." or "Why are you so rude" (which I am when someone is rude to me first)
Which is not only extremely frustrating, it also leaves the original question unanswered because someone's ego is too big to admit they can't help.

It's now at least the 3rd time I'm seriously frustrated with this happening and I haven't been able to find a way to address these issues.
I really don't want to make this about myself or anyone/anything in specific. It's a thing I frequently see happen here, even when I'm just lurking.

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Also disclaimer, I've had plenty of very useful and helpful interactions here as well, most of the time even. This community has been very helpful to me and I really appreciate the people who do try to really help.

empty rivet
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I don't see what there would be to discuss. If you think it's toxic you can report their behavior to admins and have them voice their opinion on the matter. I have never seen a genuine case where that didn't work out.

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only for the question to be completely ignored in the other channel, which is mostly abandoned.
That doesn't matter, though. This server has a collection of channels of varying topics and most users only check a handful. I only check coding channels myself, so I don't need questions related to how shaders work.
If a channel is less active, it means there isn't anybody with the experience that is able to answer the question. You're always free to bump the question up if it gets lost in other messages, but nobody likes it when questions come in the wrong channels or get crossposted.

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Also, I assume you decided to make this thread after your [mild discussion in the coding channel](#💻┃code-beginner message). Their post was completely valid and your response was very odd. This is not toxic in the slightest and you should probably receive the criticism differently.

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Remember these are all individuals that are willing and able to help in their free time. Bawsi is incredibly active, and one of the persons you would get the least trouble from.

torpid peak
# empty rivet Also, I assume you decided to make this thread after your [mild discussion in th...

Thanks for coming in here and proving my point, just like you did in the conversation you linked.
You're calling their post completely valid and my response odd, while I literally used their words to reply as to not be any less or more rude than they were to me 🙂

You're coming here, in a thread I made, saying my problem is, in your words, "not worth discussing". You're exactly the problem I'm talking about here.

Activity != helpfulness ... Some of the most active members here are the biggest trolls, as in most Discord communities. And no I'm not talking about anyone in specific here, since I did not make this post to point fingers, again unlike you.

empty rivet
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Seems like you just have issue with the fact I'm not taking your side on this. Again criticism you are unwilling to accept.

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You're coming here, in a thread I made, saying my problem is, in your words, "not worth discussing". You're exactly the problem I'm talking about here.
Totally misunderstanding what I mean here. What exactly do you expect from discussing toxic behavior? It solves absolutely nothing. There are moderators for a reason. Imagine if we had public discussions about this.

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Some of the most active members here are the biggest trolls, as in most Discord communities
Please enlighten me what active members here have been trolling. Must have missed them in my 4 years here...

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Thanks for coming in here and proving my point, just like you did in the conversation you linked.
Not sure what you expect, by the way. My message had nothing wrong with it, only confirming that complicated terms or confusing things can be Googled. That's not a snark remark to you, but a genuine tip. Googling things is a very common practice, especially considering Unity's documentation provides a lot of info.

versed bane
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@torpid peak Someone commenting that perhaps you've a larger scope that you can handle for your project is not a toxic behaviour. Now you snapping back at them certainly is.

Don't take your frustration on people trying to help you. If you don't understand something ask questions about it what exactly you don't understand. No-one knows how much you know about vector math or pathfinding.

People do expect you to understand very basics. So if you find an unfamiliar term, do look it up first as you were advised. Then ask more questions about it if it's still unclear.

To your comment about moderation, don't generalize with some kind of hypothetical scenarios and using them to make allegations. There was no moderation involved in your recent episode. If you have specific questions, ask them.

torpid peak
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🤷‍♂️ then maybe multiplayer is a massive overscope.
That to me feels like a personal attack and it's extremely frustrating for me to hear someone say that.
No one here has any business telling me what I can or cannot do or what I am or am not capable of.
To prove my point, my game works in multiplayer and is available to play on Steam right now.

Somewhere in that conversation I explained that I have a very hard time understanding this type of math. I can google the terms, I probably have several times before, that doesn't help.
I repeatedly asked for more information/explanation, but got nothing and was then eventually met with these personal attacks.

Maybe I took this one a bit too personal, the person who said it does seem genuinely helpful most of the time. Which is also why I didn't want to make this thread about what just happened.
What really triggerd me are the two replies 25 & 28 minutes after my last post. Both pinging me back into a frustrating situation I chose to leave, for no reason other than to bully me some more.

I used the same words they did. How is my message taking out frustration but theirs is totaly fine?

maybe trying to help ppl in a beginner channel is massive overscope for you

They're saying maybe a multiplayer game is out of scope for me.
I'm saying maybe helping ppl is out of scope for them? And I left it at that ... Only to be pinged back 25 minutes later to be reminded of it again.

This is at least the 3rd time something like this happens on this server, probably more like the 5th time.
And I remember very well last time it happened in #💻┃unity-talk several months ago, it was not by people who were trying to be helpful. I'm still pretty frustrated about that whole situation and have found no place to address that issue. Which is why we're here now.

versed bane
velvet sentinel
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it really isn't personal - you asked in a beginner channel, and multiplayer is not really a beginner topic
there's kind of an assumption that someone asking in the beginner channel is, themselves, a beginner

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they aren't saying that multiplayer is out of scope for you personally, they're saying multiplayer is out of scope for a beginner
and of course, we aren't psychic, we don't know if you actually are a beginner or not

empty rivet
# torpid peak > 🤷‍♂️ then maybe multiplayer is a massive overscope. That to me feels like a p...

No one here has any business telling me what I can or cannot do or what I am or am not capable of.
Actually, being fair and telling somebody they bite of more than they can chew is often the only answer that should be given. There have been, and will be, plenty of instances where somebody has a massive vision and not the experience to pull it off.
Not that you specifically fall under this, because I haven't read the conversation between you and the others apart from the last set of messages.
Point is that sometimes you might want to reflect on the amount of work required and whether or not you are capable of doing it.
No shame in taking a step back and learning. Literally everybody has had their experience with it.

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I would respond to the rest of the message but the summary is that nobody personally attacked you and you are massively overexaggerating the situation. If this was really a problem, more people would have come forward ages ago.

trail summit
whole field
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local multiplayer is pretty easy UnityChanThumbsUp

near fog
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Yo

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Just saying 100% valid crashout imo from yeodan's pov

near fog
near fog
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That this happened