First Art Piece Critique

[true locust]

First every art piece I made. Can some explain why this looks decent on PC and worst on Phone. Also every single critique is appreciated.

[restive whale]

hi

[true locust]

Hi??

[stiff lynx]

HIIIII!!!

[true locust]

Bruh I need critique and improvement tips not buch of HIiiiiiiis!!!!!!!

[dull moth]

cool looking thing, i guess it's some sort of a recording device but at first i thought it was a bunch of dollars

[spice belfry]

What kind of phone are you using to see your piece?

[true locust]

A samsung.

[true locust]

Well that aint a big concern. I dont wanna be critical about the phone but about my art. How should I improve it to look good , also any overall critiques will help

[rose dome]

It could be a resolution issue or a lack of balance in values. I personally have the same problem because of the color calibration of my laptop and something that may look a certain color ends up looking completely different on phone 😔

I would probably check your monitor's color balance and see what can be done

[spice belfry]

Sorry this took so long, I was at work when originally responding.

Firstly I'd say the biggest thing that jumps out to me is the perspective on the device itself. The three edges on the corners of your drawing makes the shape distorted. It's most prominent on the top right corner. I drew two boxes with the same top face as your box to show how you can remedy this: either have the edges converge to a single point (perspective) or never touch any points at all (isometric). The picture you made seems to lean more into the isometric view so I'd suggest going for that.

Other things that I'm noticing is confusion in the structure of this device. The top piece has an edge that has two curves in it, but on one end there isn't any line: not making it symmetrical. I'm also guessing that top piece is supposed to open up or at least be extended out, since that's what the lines on the curves are giving. Lastly, I don't know if the circular shape at the bottom is supposed to be curved or not. I also don't know if it's supposed to be a speaker or a touchpad. I'd suggest fixing the structure of it, as well as adding more texture lines since it's not that readable.

Otherwise, I'd say for the first piece you've ever done this isn't terrible. Adding small little lines across the sides makes it clear that they're not an exact edge and serves as plating. Also really like the look you went for this piece, especially with the vignette surrounding the edges and the glow for the object. I won't criticize the shading cus that's not my forte. Overall I'd suggest improving your structural skills.

[wise cobalt]

Looks pretty good in my opinion and Im on iphone

[true locust]

Thanks for all your critiques. Will be working on them on my next piece.

[true locust]

Ouh .

[true locust]

Ouh well ig that aint that big of a concern then, if it cant be universal.

[spice belfry]

Short answer, yes. Long answer, really depends. If you're someone that has to do commissions or concept art, then I dont think going through the effort of making a 3d model is that necessary, especially if you're on a time crunch. I'd say the drawing you provided gets the idea across well, just be aware of questions that might come up from your client about it. With that said, if you can model these quickly and use them as reference, then I don't see an issue with doing that at all. I knew artists in college that would make entire scenes within Maya then drew over them. If modeling it first gives you a better understanding of the structure of it, then by all means go for it, but I'd only suggest that if you're not dealing with impatient clients. If you're doing this for yourself then it really doesn't matter.

[true locust]

Alright ..