Help with Semi-realism!

[chrome lance]

I really love Shal. E's artwork, and I tried replicating their style... why does it look so 😭 Please, any tips, criticism, and advice helps!

[winter monolith]

so im not really good at hair, so i cant give any tips, but i think the hair is taking a lot away from the piece. i think if youre going for semi-realism, it shouldnt be so solid.