#Escape Into The Dark

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

jagged bison
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Genre: Horror/Fantasy
Length: 4058 words
Synopsis: Three men on the run from a revolutionary government must escape into the darkness below...
Link:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jR2-yV_EPB-2JzEUbgHhDYOFn9E-wI4gjshaqp0--FA/edit

This is a rough draft for a short story I'm submitting for my fiction writing college course. Any feedback is appreciated, especially on trimming it down to a length under 3750 words (my required maximum word count for the project.)

Google Docs
Escape Into the Dark (Rough Draft)

This story is a work of fiction. Any relation to real events, or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental and the product of the author’s imagination. Escape Into The Dark Across ages of history and numerous cultures, beneath the normalcy of day to day, the concerns of contemporary p...

jagged bison
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Did I say people died in this cave specifically? I just said people died in caves in general - but I get how that could be confused.

I think all your other criticisms are all good, I'll take them into account. My big question though, do you have any suggestions on how I can make the void feel more magical? I felt I was making it fairly fantastical, but I don't want to like add a fantasy monster or something.

jagged bison
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Well thanks for your feedback, I'll keep it in mind while I revise.

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No, I didn't outline it