#'open pi ijo sin' - 'Start Of Something New' translation

12 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

barren osprey
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toki! i made a translation of the song "Start Of Something New" from the movie High School Musical. here's how it looks so far:

mi lon ma mi la, mi sona ala e ni:
sina alasa la, ijo ale li ken lon
mi pilin ala e ijo pi len lukin
mi open ala e pilin mi tawa ken ale a

ijo li ante
mi pilin ala e ni
tenpo pimeja ni la,

ni li ken open pi ijo sin
sina lon poka mi la, mi pilin pona
mi lukin e oko sina la, mi pilin e ni:
ni li open pi ijo sin

seme li pilin e ni:
mi tu li lon ma ni
sina lon poka mi la, ma li suno mute a

ijo li ante
mi pilin ala e ni
mi sona e ni:

ni li ken open pi ijo sin
sina lon poka mi la, mi pilin pona
mi lukin e oko sina la, mi pilin e ni:
ni li open pi ijo sin

tenpo pini la, mi sona ala e ken pi lon ni
ona li kama lon mi la, mi kama sona e ni:

ni li open pi ijo sin
sina lon poka mi la, mi pilin pona
mi lukin e oko sina la, mi pilin e ni:

ni li open pi ijo sin
sina lon poka mi la, mi pilin pona
mi lukin e oko sina la, mi pilin e ni:
open pi ijo sin (open pi ijo sin)
open pi ijo sin

i'm probably gonna change the lines "mi pilin ala e ijo pi len lukin" and "seme li pilin e ni:" because the word "pilin" don't really work well for the words "believe" and "thought" but i don't know what to change it to

anyway feel free to give me feedback
when the weekend comes i'm gonna post some audio clips of me singing lines using different rhythms and would like your opinion on which ones sound better

worn wave
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i feel there are a little too many syllables sometimes

barren osprey
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yeah i know
i'm gonna work on that

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if i drop the 'tenpo' in 'tenpo pimeja ni la' that can fit the syllable count
but i feel like dropping it would change the meaning so i didn't do that initially
should i?

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also looking at the original english lyrics again
i can drop some of the "ni li"s at the end of each chorus
and some i have to change to "ona li"
i think it shouldn't mess with the syllable count

barren osprey
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switched out "kama" for "ken" in "mi kama sona e ni" and it fits the syllable structure now
also it kinda makes more sense translation-wise

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so now it would be "ona li kama lon mi la, mi ken sona e ni"

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also idk if this works or would be understandable but if i switch the order in "sina alasa la, ijo ale li ken lon" i can make it "ijo ale li ken lon alasa sina"
it also makes it fit the syllable structure

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ijo li ante
mi pilin ala e ni
tenpo pimeja ni la

this part fits the syllable structure perfectly if I drop the "tenpo"
although i'm not sure if "mi pilin ala e ni" is the best translation for that line because it might get confused to mean something else within the context of the other lines
also the split between lines in the original is right in the middle of pilin so it would be like
"ijo li ante, mi pi-
-lin ala e ni,
pimeja ni la" which is nasa lili tawa mi
also the "-lin ala" sounds like one word if I do it that way

barren osprey
barren osprey
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demo of the translation coming tomorrow (hopefully)
just gotta figure out why my daw doesn’t recognize the audio files

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also i realized i was using alasa to mean try when it wasn’t a preverb so i gotta change that