Self taught backend dev syndrome

[wind karma]

Please I need help on something and I don't know how to fix it.
I graduated from a shitty school in Belgium (3 years studies after hs). It's kind of a "last chance" type of school. I literally started the first year and a guy next to me couldn't manage to turn on the computer...
Anyway, it lead me to learn a lot of stuff on my own, with Youtube, Udemy courses and shit like that.
I got now 2 years of experience as a fullstack dev (Spring Boot/Java + Vue.JS generally).
The first year, I spent a lot of time on the bench since i was a junior and there was a huge lack of projects.

So right now, I'm working with a team that doesn't hold meetings, doesn't work in Agile, doesn't do any of this type of stuff (no analyst present in the team). Which is kind of acceptable since we mostly do small to medium sized projects.

My problem is the following: I can't manage to be efficient when doing a project from scratch. I don't know how to tackle the preparation of the project, how to think ahead, how to do the analyst's job if I had to synthesise it. And I'm facing the same issues on loop

Hard time starting implementing the next feature when I finish one
Hard time knowing what I have to do to begin with
Extremely slow while developing
And other problems all related to efficiency. I like the way the team works cause it's so chaotic that I made huge progresses in a short time. But in the end, I'm still that slow dev in the team that doesn't deliver on time.
So where can I learn what I'm lacking? Any tips from someone who lived a similar experience or just straight up knows how to fix my problem.
Obviously, it's a matter of experience, I should dev more and I'm actually doing that. But I feel like I'm missing maybe something I should have learned at school or something...

I'm so close to becoming a good dev but feel so far cause I'm mentally lost so often whent it comes to thinking ahead...

[mint drift]

<@&987246883653156906> please have a look, thanks.

[shut crown]

@wind karma Pair

you have 2 problems

1. You don't feel comfortable with where you are skill wise.
2. Your team and situation don't aren't giving you opportunities to grow

(1) is less of an issue if everyone likes you

so just hanging out with your teammates can be a help

(2) might be unfixable without going to a different company, but one way it could work is if you make opportunities for yourself

if you keep getting low stakes tasks that you struggle to complete, the answer is to attempt the higher stakes tasks alongside someone who knows what they are doing

so my first guess at a solution is pair programming

work directly with coworkers on whatever they are working on

that way you get more experience, will be associated with tasks that are finished on time, and just have a less stressful day

One thing i'll throw out there too is that your entire team might be lacking

chaotic situations aren't fun for anyone and being behind them doesn't mean they are ahead of anyone else

[solar quartz]

you should also know, nobody is really effective when they've been in a project for less than 8 months (average) - every new job i join, i'm pretty useless at the thinkahead because for the most part, I don't properly understand the product or business goals

just keep cracking away and the solution ethan gave is a pretty good one

[covert moat]

Working in a Good Team is the best way to learn.
I am always careful when choosing a new job. I want to meet the team before I accept any deal. I want to work with the best. I feel each new job, I improve my skills due to the fact that people think differently, and you learn a lot from that. Common problem is talented people tend to leave after a few years, which in time makes you the number one in terms of productivity and know it all in that team. This is my warning bell to move on.