为什么想要社交的我一直无法有一堆朋友？Why can’t I make many friends even though I want to?

[rugged summit]

是这样的，我一直羡慕那些在出门活动能叫上一群人或是发朋友圈能有一堆点赞的朋友，但我一直都无法做到这样。我不是完全没有朋友，我有一些朋友，但总有些烦恼：有些时候找不到能讨论一些话题的对象；以前能畅聊的朋友现在却很少联系，我也难以开口……
虽然我经常摸草，可始终不太能找到现实里的朋友。我的社交很多都在网上进行，上面的问题相对于我来说就更明显。我尝试用一些方式来解决这些问题，但一直没什么进展，我在想这会不会是性格原因？
不知道大家会有这样的感受？你们又是如何解决的？
Here’s the thing: I’ve always envied friends who can round up a group of people to hang out, or get tons of likes on their WeChat Moments. But I’ve never been able to do that. It’s not like I have no friends at all—I do have a few. But I still feel bothered sometimes: I can’t always find someone to talk to about certain topics; friends I used to chat with openly barely keep in touch anymore, and I don’t really know how to reach out first…
I attempted in real-life activities, but I still struggle to make real-life friends. Most of my socializing is online, which makes those problems even more obvious for me. I’ve tried different ways to fix this, but nothing really worked. I’m starting to wonder if it’s just my personality.
Does anyone else feel this way? How do you deal with it?

(My English is bad so I use AI to translate it. I'll try my best to reply without AI translation.)
(I’m not sure if this post is appropriate here. Sorry if I’m bothering anyone.)

[unique forge]

I think we make friends during meaningful activities with other people (e.g. studies, sports, travel, etc), so I would just try to do more things in real life that require working in groups. The reality is that many people are struggling keeping friends in real life because we are doing so much online. Also, if there was a significant change, e.g. graduation, moving to a different city, changing jobs, getting married, etc, it's really common for those people to become less available. Keeping friends is, to some extent, about time and energy management. Keeping friends takes more effort as life goes on, because everybody's situation changes. There is probably nothing wrong with you if you struggle keeping in touch with old friends, and your friends might be wondering if something is wrong with them that they are not keeping in touch with old friends, too - it's common. If there is somebody you miss, try to participate in the same activities that interest them - I think it takes effort. Also, getting likes on WeChat Moments vs. being able to talk to someone on certain personal topics are very different, and you might see that the same people can't give you both, because they might be interested in only one aspect of communication and maybe only on certain topics, and that's OK.

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我认为我们在与他人进行有意义的活动（例如学习、运动、旅行等）时会结交朋友，所以我建议你多参与一些需要团队合作的线下活动。事实上，很多人因为过度沉迷网络而难以维系现实生活中的朋友关系。此外，如果生活中发生了重大变化，例如毕业、搬到其他城市、换工作、结婚等等，这些人往往会变得不那么容易联系。维系友谊在某种程度上取决于时间和精力的管理。随着人生阅历的增长，维系友谊需要付出更多努力，因为每个人的情况都在变化。如果你难以与老朋友保持联系，这很正常，你的朋友可能也会怀疑自己是不是出了什么问题，才会无法与老朋友保持联系——这种情况很常见。如果你想念某个人，不妨尝试参与他们感兴趣的活动——我认为这需要付出努力。此外，在微信朋友圈获得点赞和与某人就某些私人话题进行交流是截然不同的，你会发现同一个人无法同时满足你这两种需求，因为他们可能只对沟通的某一方面感兴趣，或者只对某些话题感兴趣，这也没关系。

[rugged summit]

You’re right. When I actually go out and do things, I naturally have deeper thoughts and insights, my mind feels clearer, and I end up socializing more too.
These past few years, I’ve been switching between being stuck and being active. I think I must’ve gained something from this back-and-forth in life.
I’ve also noticed I add way fewer new friends now—almost none at all. But I’ve also lost interest in the activities that used to keep me connected with old friends, like playing their games or joining their discussions.
I feel like I’m stuck in a slump. Maybe things will get better later on. Thanks for the suggestion!

的确，当我实实在在进行一些活动的时候，自然会有一些更深度的事情、思考发生，思维会更明亮，社交也会增多。近几年我一直在停滞和活动的状态间切换，我想我在这变换的生活中也许已经获得到什么。
我也发现我越来越少地添加好友，甚至几乎没有增加新好友，可维持旧的朋友聊天所需的活动（如参加他们的游戏或讨论）对我来说也变得相对不感兴趣了，我感觉陷入了一个停滞？也许后面我会变得好起来，谢谢你的见解！