eren_150

[tight stag]

Please be patient

Our volunteers look into many questions every day; sometimes it takes them a little while to answer.

Pro tip: you can rename the thread title with `.tr <thread name>`

Make it descriptive, including relevant context, but also to the point. This way you improve your chances of getting a more relevant and specific answer.

[willow jasper]

Tu peux poser ta question ici

[fallen tartan]

Wow! C'est vraiment bien écrit, tu devrais être fière de toi-même. Incroyable 👏

I have only two suggestions.

Une personne intelligente finirait par réaliser que des choses spécifiques ne nous feront pas contents.

I completely understand what you are saying here, "will not make us happy". But, perhaps more naturally, you could say, « ne nous rendront pas contents ».

I think se rendre sounds better than faire. Although if you want to use faire you could say se faire plaisir also.

You use this construction a few times throughout your text, just to let you know.

***

Secondly, the word contentement. It is great, but you use it everywhere, every time, and it is slightly repetitive. Perhaps change a couple of instances to alternatives, like bonheur, joie, plaisir, etc.

Similarly, you use content(es) a lot. It is a very useful word but you might consider replacing it sometimes with heureux, joyeux, gai, etc.

Other than that I really like your message, and I agree with it 🙂

You are doing very well in your studies it seems!

Plus tard, il est triste encore une fois parce qu'il veut encore plus d’or.

une personne >> a person
un personnage >> a character

either works, but pick one and stick with it 🙂

Actually, I'm just noticing, you have several places where you have not shortened que il or que elle, etc.

Make sure they are propely written as qu'il and qu'elle, qu'on, etc.