#xal3xandra_

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

echo trenchBOT
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Please be patient

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Make it descriptive, including relevant context, but also to the point. This way you improve your chances of getting a more relevant and specific answer.

vestal tiger
vestal tiger
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On the first highlighted text I have to another thing to add "Pour ma part, je crois que la tolérance serait un bon moyen de lutter contre la discrimination. Nous devrions tous nous aimer tels que nous sommes."

candid cypress
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On the highlighted parts, there isn't much to say, it's pretty good already. it seems way above a beginner to say the least, so it may be hard to give you advices, but there isn't any grammatical mistake and the message goes through.

Whereas on the first half, there is a couple of mistakes to look at.

I'm just gonna point out two things;

  1. "Et un frère avec qui partage <== who shares what ? qui is a "pronom relatif subject, what does it refer to here ?

  2. "un diplôme dans une domaine" <== this one here should be easy to pick up.

We could go further in the analysys, like "Dans l'avenir" is a bit unnatural, but it's still understandable. I probably would use "vouloir here" ==> "Je voudrais obtenir un diplôme dans X".
For the most part, it's well written for a beginner, there isn't any syntax errors, spelling is good, you're even using word connectors, not much else to say.

vestal tiger
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  1. Would it be correct to say ,,avec qui je partage"?? cuz I am referring to myself
  2. I searched and it is masculine so that s why I put it this way... domaine \dɔ.mɛn\ masculin
    And for the ,,future plans" part should I erase "à" from decouvrir? -> "Je voudrais obtenir un diplôme dans une domaine qui m'inspire et (à) decouvrir de nouvelles..."
sinful loom
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  1. Yes
  2. une is feminine though

And yes, if you use voudrais you should remove the à

vestal tiger
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Oh my bad! I've just seen that I wrote ,,une" instead of ,,un". 😭😭