I disagree about needing a simpler software. Just because a program has more advanced features it doesn't mean you have to use them. and it's always easier to stay in the same app that you are editing in. Now having said that, I don't think the improvement here should be made in editing primarily. Your biggest issue is that you are using a mic in an environment that it wasn't made to be used in, potentially in the wrong place and comparing it to a much more ideal setup. What do I mean by that? Let's break it down.
- you are using a shotgun mic indoors. Shotgun mics are made to be used outdoors almost exclusively. You can get away with it but it's not ideal.
- I don't know where you have the mic mounted but it sounds very far away from your mouth. If it's on top of the camera, move it immediately to a mic stand/boom arm.
- Your room isn't sound treated. This gives you the most issues as you have a lot of reflections that bounce around and get picked up.
- The video you are comparing it to only uses a voice over. Voice overs will always sound better as you don't have to worry about the environment or the mic being visible. You can go into a small, perfectly sound treated closet and get a large very sensitive, rich sounding mic right up to your mouth. This isn't usually possible while shooting video too. This is why even in big budget movies ADR is very noticeable, because the environment just sounds so different. Plus they have a very loud background music playing that helps further hide audio imperfections.
So what can you do? First of all, move the mic as close to your mouth as possible, facing the right way (while keeping it out of the frame if you don't want it in the shot). Then sound treating the room or your recording environment will go a long way. Alternatively or additionally you can use different types of mics that can provide this bassy sound and work better in untreated rooms.
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