lyric dome
Right now all of my videos are scripted, and I had a friend recently tell me that my videos sound scripted.. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing and I'm trying to figure out if I really need to improve my script reading
Here's an example
https://youtube.com/shorts/_k3hYZoCb2A?feature=share
This was all scripted
I also understand that I probably need to improve my script reading but I have a background in public speaking so I'm not sure if I'm doing OK
pseudo epoch
I'm gonna start by kinda not really addressing your question on script reading. Two things, I really enjoy the hook. If you write your own scripts and all of your hooks are like this, huge props. This is a short that would actually catch and hold attention past the main retention drop-off. The main issue comes from both a place of how the script is written past that and how it's read. Your voice is great while you read it, and it's very straightforward. The biggest issue is that you don't seem like you're trying to make connection. You could be an amazing script writer and reader, but the issue is you don't seem to want to address the audience directly. One great way to fix this would be to look at the camera and imagine you're about to tell this to a friend, one you're actually close to. Some parts of this short are great but it almost comes off -- and I apologize if it's harsh -- disingenuous. It feels like you don't believe what you're saying.
I just want to make it clear, however, that the way you've written your script for this isn't bad. It's just not fitting for the story you're telling. This doesn't seem like a story that needs to be too serious. It's a personal story. It should feel very casual and personal.
You provide questions in your short that I would say are great in the short. They fit well, it seems like those are questions you would truly ask, and they're questions that probably many others have asked. The way you follow it up, however, feels like a rushed essay from school. One that I would write up the night before just to get a decent grade and move on with your life. You have great potential behind this, but make some eye contact with your camera, and lean in. One way to get a little closer to the camera would be to sit about arm's length from the camera and then lean in a little bit from that position. Look directly in the camera, or just around it if it's hard to maintain eye contact with it the entire time. You got potential. Trust
lmk if that helps at all
lyric dome
I'm gonna start by kinda not really addressing your question on script reading. ...
It does look like I'm not looking into the camera but I definitely look at the camera when I record so I'm not sure why that happens
Appreciate the feedback
pseudo epoch
no problem brother