muted blade
Title: Devil's Night
Format: Feature
Genre: Horror
Logline: After she discovers that a community service job in an old amusement park is a cover for a demonic sacrifice, a troubled teen must confront her inner demons and survive until dawn.
I know, it's a little rough.
astral valve
I enjoyed the logline but personally I want to know the Heorine's name and how she looks si I can visualise her. I feel that her inner demons is a bit vague intriguing but vage I want to read more.
muted blade
Emily Abate. In and out of juvenile detention centers for most of her teen years. The one she's in is the one setting up the sacrifice.
Mostly petty theft.
crystal turtle
I'm guessing she's working the nightshift since she's gotta survive until dawn? Is she confronting her inner demons or actual demons? Or both I'm guessing. I would maybe clarify that too but it's a cool idea
olive marsh
I am going to go against the grain here and say you don't need to include a full character description when it comes to a log line. You already give us enough description with she is doing community service and she is a troubled teen.
The part that throws me off is "must confront her inner demons and survive until dawn". It's good but it shifts some of the conflict from external to internal. (You can still keep this in the script of course). What would hook me more into your screenplay is if we get hints as to what the ritual is going to do.
But what you have is pretty good on its own. I would certainly read it.
muted blade
The center she's been sent to is run by a demon-worshipping cult. By offering souls of some of their more troublesome inmates to the demons, the demons will reward the cult with material goods, luck etc.
olive marsh
Do you plan on including that in the logline?
muted blade
Yes, but I'm trying to figure out where to put it.