@hushed widget I want to thank you once again for giving my script a read 🙏
#Submission
stiff hawk
verbal matrix
Okay just read this and I really liked it!
It feels almost like an off-shoot of Love Lies Bleeding. Brutal, erotic, and a good deal of depth too.
I think the characters you have are pretty strong (no pun intended), and I especially liked the dynamic between Cora and Alonzo.
The scene (and flashbacks) where they detail their previous sexual encounters gave us an insight into who they are and I really liked the way the conversation culminates with these two people, that for whom sex is largely an exchange, expressing a mutual attraction and desire for each other.
The dialogue also feels very natural throughout and never really felt contrived or forced maybe with the exception of the scene with Chris. The scene does give us a cushion between the scene with "Gerald" calling and the scene at the motel, but it didn't completely work for me. I feel like it could work better with Martin casually asking her about if she thinks about getting back into wrestling/writing memoirs etc. For all that to come from Chris, who is essentially a random person, felt a little forced and convenient.
The screenplay turning into a revenge story towards the last third of it I also really enjoyed with the revenge scenes being pretty brutal and gory. It also gave the story a sense of urgency that the story didn't really have up until that point.
I mentioned it feeling similar to Love Lies Bleeding (and I might be in the minority on this so take this with a grain of salt), but I did to an extent, find it a little too similar, and that sort of kept me finding it as fresh as I probably could have found it, almost like.. for every scene I read here I felt like I saw a different version of it there. Then again, this could just be me.