Then they stopped conquering...
#battlefield-legacy-titles
wet fossil
past finch
Germany had technology and tactics. It lacked logistics and resources
shrewd linden
I mean, I'm not complaining, but that's kinda how my heritage worked too, Norwegian Vikings that moved into Russia
Plunder
wet fossil
Tech is debatable.
past finch
Not really
solid hinge
They didn't have terrific tech in places many claim they did
wet fossil
Fancy ideas, not many of them actually all that effective.
solid hinge
Tanks sucked after 42
past finch
They beat all other tanks
past finch
Germany tanks beat all others 1 to 1 in combat
fossil heron
Tiger was the best tank on the field but there were only 1400 of them
solid hinge
Every single one
past finch
Shermans had logistics
solid hinge
No
fossil heron
A tiger can take on 10 shermans
past finch
Yes
shrewd linden
Okay you guys heard of the giant tank Germany was trying to build right? WHERE would they get the resources? How is that a good tactic? Lets waste our resources on a massive tank
past finch
I am in a tank battalion
fossil heron
But there werent just 10 shermans
wet fossil
No, the Americans had ten Shermans to fight a Tiger with.
Because that's a tank platoon.
past finch
Fun fact. I'm not a tank moron
solid hinge
One Sherman Firefly took out 3 Tigers in less than 5 minutes
Including Michael Wittman
fossil heron
Did that happen every day?
wet fossil
Upgunned versions with 76mm and 17 Pounders punched right through Tiger armour.
shrewd linden
Fun Fact, playing a tank in a balanced game doesnt make you a genius with tanks, because theyre historically inaccurate for balancing reasons
solid hinge
Tigers were for the East not the West
wet fossil
The Tiger's primary advantage was not its armour, but its gun.
Big ol' 88mm isn't nothing to sneeze at.
shrewd linden
Also fun fact, My dad was a marine, hes a veteran now, he agrees that Tigers were not good tanks
past finch
In the end of the war germany lacked the resources to repair or make it's better tanks
solid hinge
My granduncle fought tanks in WWII
past finch
Some models were shit
solid hinge
Also in Berlin the Germans preferred the Sherman Beutwpanzers over their own tanks
tight rain
Their tanks were quite complicated for the most part
wet fossil
They were good tanks, assuming that they ran correctly. Maintenance on those fat fucks was an absolute pain though.
shrewd linden
My dad was a Fireteam leader in his own platoon. Not the guy with the SAW, because let's be honest, the SAW gets noticed real fast, lots of bullets at once makes them a real target
fossil heron
Tigers were behemoths compared to a sherman. But 50000 shermans always beats 1400 tigers
wet fossil
And not worth the trouble given that we were matching them with far cheaper and simpler tanks.
fossil heron
And yeah the Germans stole more shermans than they produced tigers
solid hinge
Shermans were superior in almost every way
past finch
The german technology they developed in tanks was advanced
solid hinge
It's not even debatable
wet fossil
Shermans were designed with the knowledge that they would be fighting an ocean away from home.
fossil heron
There was just more of them
wet fossil
Can't just pop it back to the factory for repairs.
shrewd linden
Okay Im the ONLY one who knows that Shermans have more firepower than a tiger, if it was a one on one a Sherman has a 67% better chance of winning based on Armour and Power
wet fossil
They had to fit on a ship, they had to be repairable in the field.
shrewd linden
Shermans are not weak
wet fossil
Frankly their design was bloody genius.
shrewd linden
And they are definetly not worse than a Tiger
wet fossil
Incredible versatility.
fossil heron
No not at all but tigers were much stronger
past finch
The Panzer was a good tank
wet fossil
And then they up armoured the Sherman into the Jumbo version and that fucker could actually take 88mm shells to the face.
wet fossil
And then in comes Mr Pershing...
shrewd linden
Shermans could be equipped with Heavy, Medium, and light plates, they could go amphibious, dry landed, or dropped in if need be, they can be repaired on the spot or away at base, easy to reload, and faster than alot of tanks except for the light ones
wet fossil
Shermans had amazing crew survival ratios.
shrewd linden
They had interchangable cannons up to 105mm
past finch
Shermans were heavily modifiable
wet fossil
Though the first models did have issues burning up, but that's why wet stowage was invented.
Not like they burned any more than other tanks.
past finch
That's why they were great
wet fossil
I mean take one look at the damned Lee and you start to really appreciate what the Sherman represents.
shrewd linden
Shermans in raw power at their most common modifications, a 75mm cannon and meduim plates, were stronger than the Tiger
prime pine
The sherman overall was an amazing tank
wet fossil
Okay, that might be taking it a little far.
75mm guns started to fall off in performance against Tigers.
shrewd linden
A jumbo sherman, 105mm cannon and heavy plates, was a beast to be dealt with
prime pine
I dont look at it with rose tinted glasses about it but in general it was pretty damn good
shrewd linden
I enjoy tanks THOROUGHLY
wet fossil
But that's what the 76s were for.
And it's not like Tigers were particularly common anyway.
solid hinge
Here's my question
prime pine
I remember someone here said germany would have won if they had built more tigers
shrewd linden
I once spent so long studying them I found out the only surviving WW1 tank was stolen by the good guys from germany just as a FUCK YOU
wet fossil
They would've lost faster from the logistical pressure.
solid hinge
I'd the Sherman was so bad then why was Israel using it until the 80s?
I'd like an answer to thar
past finch
Yah. The one A7V
wet fossil
We just saw it bogged down in No Man's Land and just went "Yep, ours now"
fossil heron
A good way to introduce the russians in bfv would be the battle of Kursk
wet fossil
Went out in the middle of the night and dragged it off.
past finch
And I think only 1 german tank is still drivable from WW2
shrewd linden
I mean for real, a german tank sat unoccupied in No mans land during ww1, and a group of brits decided to steal it, there was no point in it, it wasnt used to fight after that, they stole it just as a fuck you
wet fossil
Only one Tiger is operational.
solid hinge
Only one Tiger I is drivable under it's own power
past finch
We have a driveable Sherman Tank at my unit
wet fossil
I think there's a few other Panzers lying about.
solid hinge
It's in Bovington
past finch
I've seen it be driven
wet fossil
The Tiger was taken in North Africa after it had an encounter with a Churchill.
wet fossil
It's the reason why the standard paint in BFV is the desert yellow scheme.
fossil heron
Imagine seeing that thing come over a hilltop
wet fossil
Once the British got a hold of it, Churchill himself came down to have a look at it.
shrewd linden
Okay fun fact, Shermans are still produced with rubber tracks and non-functioning cannons so they can be sold as "Joy Vehicles" to the public
wet fossil
It was due to this that they realised that the Tiger was not a super tank. Tough, but sure as shit not invincible.
wet fossil
Germany had a policy of self-destructing Tigers that got abandoned.
solid hinge
If you've got the proper license
wet fossil
So getting one intact was a treat.
fossil heron
Thats why it just chilled in the background launching artillery at the frontlines
shrewd linden
stops rubbing hands goddanmit
solid hinge
Because the US Second Amendment protects it
solid hinge
Fun Fact: in the early days of America a guy bought a war frigate and was taken to the Supreme Court over it
The Supreme Court said war frigates were protected under the Second Amendment
wet fossil
A particular disparity in tank casualty ratios between the Allies and Germany can be explained by different methods of tracking them.
solid hinge
So he kept his war frigate
shrewd linden
Look bud, I need a tank
wet fossil
The Germans wouldn't write it off until it was proper gone.
solid hinge
Just do some bearucracy then
fossil heron
550000 and ones yours
past finch
They're awkward to drive in my opinion
solid hinge
It takes money and time
wet fossil
The Allies wrote it off if it couldn't move or fight.
past finch
Or atleast the Abrams is
fossil heron
A cool half a mil
wet fossil
But they could repair it.
solid hinge
30k for a tank
fossil heron
Back in 1942
solid hinge
No
shrewd linden
Tanks are pretty cheap holy shist, I just looked it up
wet fossil
So this gave the impression that the Germans lost less tanks.
wet fossil
But they were certainly paying for it with their crap repairabilty.
shrewd linden
Compared to the weak ass sports cars, tanks are cheap
tight rain
Usually
past finch
They are. But the maintenance for tanks can be a bit fun
fossil heron
Where?
wet fossil
Shermans and Panzer IVs went up against each other again during the Israeli wars.
There's still Panzer IV wreckage in the Golan Heights.
solid hinge
There's still operational Pz. IVs in North Africa
wet fossil
I'm just imagining the Israelis seeing them coming and just going "Oh fuck, not you again!"
solid hinge
Certain organizations I will not name use them
wet fossil
Though they largely were running Centurions by this point.
shrewd linden
Are you serious. only 14k for a frickin Humvee
wet fossil
A big modern MBT vs a tank that was outdated by the end of the last war.
solid hinge
I don't like Humvees
wet fossil
Didn't go great.
sturdy timber
Hi
shrewd linden
WITH THE TURRET STATION, no gun tho
fossil heron
Ok where do y'all see tanks for 30k?
solid hinge
I want to take an old Ford Jeep and modify it
past finch
@shrewd linden you can get humvees for 5k
solid hinge
Air Conditioning, radio, that sort of thing
tight rain
I would love a willy jeep
shrewd linden
A general lee is 9k
wet fossil
Apparently Humvees are pretty crap.
shrewd linden
A general Lee, is 9k
fossil heron
Its a brick on wheels lol
past finch
They aren't as good as in movies. I can tell you from driving them
wet fossil
Military spec means cheap as fuck and not much else.
shrewd linden
Except for 6x6s
past finch
Made cheap, but pay a fuckton
shrewd linden
They dont come cheap, and theyre fuckin tough
wet fossil
They're cheap because they built a hell of a lot of them, and then retired them when they realised that they didn't stand up to shit in the field.
solid hinge
Ok but have you seen cars the feds pawn off?
wet fossil
If you're burning that much fuel, better get something that can actually stop enemy fire.
wet fossil
Cue the MRAPs.
tight rain
Might have to go to the states in the future
past finch
One of my platoons humvees had part of the engine explode by turning it to on. Not even starting it yet
shrewd linden
Oh i'm just googling, because I dont know good sites
wet fossil
Big powerful offroad vehicle that proved to be bloody awful offroad.
wet fossil
God knows why they bought so many of the stupid ugly fuckers.
solid hinge
There are no keys
past finch
^
tight rain
I ca see the issue
past finch
It's a switch. Like a key that is always in
solid hinge
yeah....
wet fossil
I mean if you want to go now you probably don't want to be fiddling keys.
shrewd linden
NOPE
solid hinge
Military vehicles don't have keys
past finch
You can add a key
solid hinge
Tanks too
wet fossil
Just don't let the other guy get to the wheel...
solid hinge
Fun fact 2: in the 90s a guy in meth stole an M60A3 Patton Tank from a National Guard Armory because it doesn't need keys to start
past finch
If it doesn't start. Turn it off. Count to 10. Turn it on. It can help bypass a glitch with the glow plugs
solid hinge
So there's a thing
wet fossil
Anti hijacking security in a tank is the assumption that the enemy has no idea how to drive the thing properly.
past finch
An aircraft mech wemt for a joyride in a stolen plane
shrewd linden
ohmyfuckinggod our military is incompetent
past finch
WE PUT LOCKS ON IT
prime pine
So thats why you can steal tanks in battlefield! Cause they dont have keys!
solid hinge
Pretty much
past finch
YOU JUST NEED BOLT CUTTERS
wet fossil
And also you don't need four other guys to work the thing.
solid hinge
In a warzone you don't want to lose your keys
shrewd linden
IF YOU FRICKIN SAY MASTERKEY
solid hinge
So they just did away with them
past finch
Like the padlocks you buy at stores
shrewd linden
OMFG
past finch
Masterkey
shrewd linden
OHMYFUCKINGGOD
shrewd linden
OHMYFUCKINGGOD
past finch
But yah. Same thing
tight rain
The boogaloo will be easier than once thought
shrewd linden
I KNOW HOW TO PICK THOSE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH OUR TAAANKS
past finch
To start it
solid hinge
Yeah the boogaloo is going to be a breeze
wet fossil
Media tends to forget that tank hatches have internal locks.
solid hinge
Yes and no
wet fossil
Though they're often left unlocked in case you need to leg it.
shrewd linden
Im not-I just... I... NOPE
past finch
Main hatch. Master power is on the left against the wall. To get to the drivers seat from the turret there is an openable panel at the bottom of the turret
tight rain
True
solid hinge
Ammo is always stored away
shrewd linden
I dont even want to shoot it, I just want a joyride
past finch
Abrams go 60MPH
tight rain
Bring the ammo and do both
shrewd linden
over my exes house
past finch
Yes
solid hinge
A guy already did that in the 90s @shrewd linden
past finch
tight rain
Killdozer 2 electric boogaloo
tight rain
Well there is the issue
solid hinge
And with an M60A3 Patton
tight rain
You gotta do drugs while stealing a tank
past finch
We almost had one drive through our CP building where the COs desk is
shrewd linden
Which one
past finch
The brakes busted while it was heading toward 1Sgts office
solid hinge
The other cowboy state that's western
tight rain
U h o h
shrewd linden
Oh
solid hinge
But in the East
shrewd linden
That one
past finch
I like Texas, except the lack of hills
shrewd linden
Buddy, if we're thinking of the same place, I used to live there
solid hinge
My state has a bunch of hills
Appalachia is beautiful
And we have a volcano
Named Sugar or something
past finch
Arizona is where I'm from
shrewd linden
YUP I USED TO LIVE THERE
wet fossil
Been in an Abrams once. Crammed my 6'5 frame in there and was promptly told I'd actually make a decent driver with that height.
I did not feel like I fit there.
past finch
No one fits in an Abrams
shrewd linden
Also it's Sugars Loaf
wet fossil
I mean seriously the driver position is pretty tiny. Maybe I could see the periscopes better?
solid hinge
Close enough
shrewd linden
Very close
past finch
I had to remove its CPU. I had to go in upside down and hang like that cause how little room there was
shrewd linden
I live 5 miles away from an airforce base right now
wet fossil
Fuck being a loader in that thing though.
past finch
Air force bases are nice
wet fossil
Humans were never built to sling 120mm.
shrewd linden
They are, they really are
past finch
The chow hall tho
shrewd linden
I went on it once with a Military buddy of mine, I wasnt allowed to really go anywhere without him, but I saw cool shit
past finch
Compared to a marine base it's a resort
solid hinge
Well fun fact 3
solid hinge
The Soviets created a 156mm gunned tank
past finch
I've been on Luke AFB and one other
shrewd linden
I can literally just walk down there any day and ask if hes in or not, sometimes he gets to come hang out, sometimes he doesnt, It's like having that one friend in middleschool that knows how to shoot guns
solid hinge
Just like how the Yugoslavians created a 120mm Sherman
past finch
The navy I went on one of the SEALs bases and the station near Pendleton
wet fossil
Russians had the right idea with autoloaders. Problem is that the T series liked to use ammo rings in the turret.
shrewd linden
I was born on Pendleton
past finch
Noice
wet fossil
Which is why destroyed T series tanks are always seen with the turret lying a few metres away.
past finch
I like that base
shrewd linden
It's a nice base
solid hinge
Hence why they cooked in desert Storm @wet fossil
past finch
Yah
wet fossil
Damn thing goes up all the time.
shrewd linden
I enjoyed watching my dad suffer in an APC driving down the road near our house, or sometimes he was running beside it
past finch
Oof
shrewd linden
Actually most the time he was running beside it
wet fossil
The T-14 looks to be solving this problem with the unmanned turret.
past finch
About to go to Okinawa in a couple months
wet fossil
But don't expect to see many of those built.
past finch
Attaching to combat engineers
shrewd linden
Also Frags, if you like Cheese, Why arent you a Sergal instead of a fox
wet fossil
Classic Russian prototypes that see only a few units made before they fall back to the old standbys.
past finch
Lmao
solid hinge
T-14 is a bad design
past finch
Should be XD
wet fossil
I mean we don't really know anything about the T-14.
solid hinge
I say this because once the turret gets hit, it's done
wet fossil
Not like they telling shit.
past finch
shrewd linden
wet fossil
Pretty sure that if a turret gets destroyed on any tank, that's the end of that.
past finch
UwU
wet fossil
Either dead or mission killed.
shrewd linden
UwU
wet fossil
May as well have it so that nobody dies in there.
shrewd linden
So Frags, whats it like being a fuzz in the Marines? Are you as stupid as my dad?
wet fossil
We don't know that because they've literally never seen combat.
wet fossil
Russians aren't exactly freely giving numbers.
shrewd linden
heads up, my dad sometimes represents the stigma around "dumb marines". Other times he resents it
wet fossil
I'm not particularly concerned about it, as there'll never be many of them and they'll never be invincible.
Still blows up the same when an F-35 comes a calling.
shrewd linden
Anything blows up the same when you shoot it enough with a big enough gun
solid hinge
Or when the MK VI Landship rolls out
past finch
@shrewd linden haha, hopefully not. I eat scented markers cause I am superior ||totally have not eaten a Pvts crayons before||. I am one of the smarter ones thankfully and being a furry marine is fun. I've met like 18 marine furries
wet fossil
I've seen a not insignificant amount of bronies in the marines.
shrewd linden
That's kinda neat. Although the crayon part is not
solid hinge
Fun story
wet fossil
Get all sorts of weird characters up there...
tight rain
Stealing crayons is no joke
past finch
He deserved it
tight rain
Oh god
shrewd linden
Welcome to 2020
past finch
It was a platoon effort to eat his crayons
wet fossil
Literally would've been better to just not wipe at all.
solid hinge
Not even the softer kind
shrewd linden
WHAT
past finch
And he was so mad about it lol
solid hinge
The glass infused kind
shrewd linden
A platoon effort to EAT his crayons
tight rain
Yes
shrewd linden
Do you know how stupid that sounds to me?
shrewd linden
I ate crayons when I was 2years old and that was it
past finch
Yes. I'm an electronics technician as my main MOS. He needed crayons to color in his schematics but he always annoyed us so we collectively ate his entire box
shrewd linden
......
past finch
For the memes
shrewd linden
why not just... melt them
past finch
They tasted awful
shrewd linden
And make one big crayon candle
solid hinge
Because that requires work
past finch
^
solid hinge
And marines are lazy
past finch
At times
shrewd linden
SO DOES EATING CRAYONS
past finch
I only took like 4 bites
solid hinge
You don't have to move around
shrewd linden
You ATE crayons.
tight rain
As any good marine should
past finch
I've eaten MREs and survived
shrewd linden
I
wet fossil
God apparently American MREs suck ass.
solid hinge
I love rhem
wet fossil
Always heard that they were all too happy to get their hands on British stuff on deployment.
past finch
When they handed out MREs to guys on quarantine we realized something. You don't need toilet paper if you can't shit
shrewd linden
Actually I was pretty happy to eat anything
past finch
Some of them are good
shrewd linden
I used to be Picky until my dad had me eat MREs
past finch
Amd the coyotes know that too
shrewd linden
Then I learned that everything else tastes better
past finch
^^^
shrewd linden
Well then my dad got the WRONG kind
wet fossil
You'll know that the future of warfare has arrived when they manage to actually make MREs good.
past finch
I was mad. Corporal dumbass left the box outside the Humvee and the coyotes stole all of it except the fuckin spinach fettuccine. They left me the worst one
I never thought animals could read MREs
solid hinge
Battlefield: Advanced Warfare
wet fossil
Guess they don't like the smell of spinach.
past finch
Veggie Omlet is thankfully extinct
solid hinge
It's just modern warfare but with decent MRE
shrewd linden
My dad sent me three months of MREs last week
I have real food at home here
I dont need these
wet fossil
Guess he's trying to help with what he assumes the quarantine would be like?
No in, no out, just you and whatever supplies you got.
tight rain
Might be a good idea to keep some of them
wet fossil
That's not how it be in actuality.
But it's the reason why everyone started all that fucking panic buying.
past finch
No. Sell MREs, buy edible food
shrewd linden
I need to check the flavour
past finch
Fun fact. Toilet paper has 2 sides if you really want to conserve it
||Plz understand that is a joke. We don't need Covid 20||
shrewd linden
oml
prime pine
I want to make a mountain of toilet paper and burn it
shrewd linden
So he sent me three months of fucking BRISKET MREs
past finch
Those are average
solid hinge
I saw a picture of a guy that built a bunker from Toilet paper and then set up an M1919 nest in it
shrewd linden
Before I taste one for science, Frags I need your opinion
Taste Quality compared to a real brisket
shrewd linden
Okay but how close does it come
past finch
But as far as MREs go it can be done
Uhhhhh...
past finch
^^ do that
shrewd linden
So Im guessing not very close at all
past finch
5 year old meat won't win against a real brisket
past finch
Tomato beef strips roght now is fore though. It's new so they put a bunch of good sides in it
Also. 1 box of MREs can go for $100 @shrewd linden
I've seen it
shrewd linden
Well I was about to overprice it
tight rain
I will give you tree fiddy for it dancing
shrewd linden
by 10$
past finch
If you pay me $100 I'll eat half a box
shrewd linden
Oh then these should be amazing.
past finch
Goodluck
shrewd linden
Hahaha
past finch
shrewd linden
I tried to go into the Military but like, Im apparently not mentally stable enough
Which is strange because I live a normal day to day life
past finch
They don't check your medical history unless you give them reason too. If you have nothing on record you're good
shrewd linden
How do you even tell someones mental stability
Oh no I have plenty on my record, Lost my pain receptors at 11, got hit by an SUV at 13, fell off a two story building at 16, been stabbed three times, once fully through the hand with a woodchip, set of fire, toe shot off, and almost drowned
I'm dotted with danger
past finch
How much on record?
shrewd linden
At least two of the stabbings, the SUV, the lost pain nerves, and the set on fire
past finch
As long as you didn't start the stabbing you should be clear xd
shrewd linden
I did not start the stabbing, but I did end it by stabbing back
He lived, were fine
past finch
Sounds like self defense. You should fit in
shrewd linden
I've not killed a person yet
Well I'm still not eligible based on my mental stability
So idk whats up
past finch
Go to someone else and tell them you're good
solid hinge
Here's the real question
shrewd linden
Oh okay, I could definitely steve rogers it until they realize Im missing a toe and have a scar through my hand
solid hinge
And it's 0335 so I'm very tired, practically drunk
shrewd linden
its 0235 here
solid hinge
Would Human MREs tatse better or worse than Chilli MREs
past finch
I told the air force recruiter to fuk himself cause he tried the same thing with me. He was just lazy so he told me I couldn't join. Walked to the office next door and became a marine
shrewd linden
Oh I tried Navy first
past finch
You can maybe get a waiver for the toe. The hand, if you can use it normally can be waived
shrewd linden
Oh it's usable, still my dominant hand too
shrewd linden
Im Bi
past finch
Lmao
solid hinge
You joined the Navy though
shrewd linden
No I didnt
past finch
She didn't
solid hinge
Attempted to
shrewd linden
They rejected me
shrewd linden
Buddy Im the Ruler of messed up
shrewd linden
I have 12 inches deep of messed up
past finch
Army isn't much better. And if you didn't join you don't rate to make jokes
shrewd linden
Also, Dms are a thing
shrewd linden
I'm giving you permission
solid hinge
alright
past finch
yut
past finch
OwO
shrewd linden
That came out wrong
shrewd linden
I A Minor, I played you in Piano class
past finch
Please?
past finch
I've never said that phrase with please
shrewd linden
Class Concubus much?
prime pine
What the hell is going on
shrewd linden
MP are funny guys actually, stuck up but funny. Funny cause they think theyre important
past finch
Nah. I have training on how to make arrest from the school of infantry
Thank you done dancing
solid hinge
Sounds like something an MP would say
shrewd linden
Nah, my dad ended up as Amphibious Assault
past finch
The AAVs?
shrewd linden
Have to ask honestly
past finch
Was he a vehicle crew?
shrewd linden
Last story I got from him was how he found out Bullets travel walls and dont just bounce off them
long story short, hes got a bad knee
past finch
Yes. That's why you keep 1 meter distance from a wall
shrewd linden
to answer questions, it was from a teammate not a contact
shrewd linden
He was
Until it got him discharged after 11 service years
Then he basically said "Fuck this Im driving an armoured truck"
And he still does
past finch
One of the umits on base (I think 3/7) had one guy in 3 of their companies get shot by friendly fire. A guy in their 4th company fell out a window and broke his legs
It was in training too
shrewd linden
And his buddy, my buddy also, jack, held a fb as it went off and apparently those mfs hurt
past finch
Yah. They do explode
shrewd linden
Just not as violently as a frag
shrewd linden
So if you want Dumb Marine stories, I know the guys
shrewd linden
Lol
I suppose that's accurate
Knowing Jack he'd be likely to find a scorpion SOMEHOW and try to eat it
Jack is known as the Honorable Idiot
past finch
Roll away tanks, sprayed CPUs woth a power hose and I had to explain wny the CPU wouldn't turn on. I had to duct tape and zip tie a humvee together. Luckily we "acquired" a new door handle from the army at fort hood. It worked
I'm surrounded by idiots
shrewd linden
My dad stole an engine from the Army once, as a prank
past finch
Sounds about right. Makes all marines proud XD
shrewd linden
Because, in his words, "They didnt do anything about anything any way"
"Why have a working vehicle if you're not gunna use it"
shrewd linden
I mean, that's not the only thing he did
He used to smuggle food off Pendleton and just eat it in the dark
past finch
I bet
shrewd linden
Nothing else, just eat it in the dark
Then There's Jack, who was probably much worse
Bastard didnt steal anything IMPORTANT, just, ya know, a tank cannon. How? i have no clue, just that he stole a Tank Cannon, not from the Army, from his friends platoon. We dont question jack, my dad saw it with his own eyes. He drug a tank cannon halfway across base and stashed it under three seperate bunks
past finch
Mines. Uhh. Humvee joyride. Used a $650,000 radio system as a personal cell phone charger cause my phone was about to die while I was in a furry rp. Set up a SatCom device and slept by a live unexploded warhead with the detonator pressed in cause I was to lazy to kove it somewhere else. I set the fire alarm of the barracks on fire... a few others
I- how?
That thing weighs a shit ton
shrewd linden
Never question the guy whos nickname was froggy hulk
past finch
Mines is Staff Daddy. Don't question it
shrewd linden
One time during a hurricane, my dad wanted to become a human kite, and convinced Jack to hold the rope for him. My dad was put on suicide watch
Jack got to telling me one day that the idea behind the human kite was after my dad put a small dog in a poncho and watched it fly off in the wind
shrewd linden
So yes, Jack and My Dad were notorious around the base
shrewd linden
My dad was Balls In guns out and jack was froggy hulk
My dad made a very womanly scream after his first experience with the 50 cal mg
past finch
lmao
shrewd linden
Thats why Balls In Guns Out
shrewd linden
Jack got froggy hulk after he had to help pull a humvee out of the mud when no one else would help, so mud plus strength equalled froggy hulk, plus his favourite colour was green
past finch
That's atleast a cooler story xd
shrewd linden
yeah well my dad doesnt have to because jack remembers the other half to all the stories
past finch
He probably enjoys remembering the other half
shrewd linden
Like the tank cannon story, Jack remembers marching over and spending half an hour taking it off his buddies tank, then dragging it back, Dad remembers Jack getting yelled at and forced to do "Extra Curricular Activities" for the next few days
Apparently tank cannons leave a clear trail of evidence when you drag them
Who knew
I should ask Jack how he got it off exactly
past finch
Yah. Tanks are kinda obvious lol
One of our tankers accidentally ran over an endangered tortoise. He tried to say he didn't do it but the tread pattern on it's back was quite unique
past finch
If they are a marine and smart there are 3 possibilities. 1, spec ops 2, weeb, 3, furry
shrewd linden
I am Intelligence
past finch
I am 3
shrewd linden
We still dont know where I got my smarts from, Definitely not dad
past finch
Maybe you got the smarts he lacked
shrewd linden
Maybe
But its always fun watching dad and Jack interact
Because it becomes a "Hold my alcohol watch this" Contest
past finch
I am the breed of give me alcohol and watch this
And that plus one other incident led to Staff Daddy
shrewd linden
Dad ate a frog, live, Jack caught a scorpion and ate it, live
past finch
It probably has more protein than the crayons
shrewd linden
Dad catches a fish with his hands, Jack catches a rabbit with his hands
past finch
I'll have to give credit to a rabbit
shrewd linden
Dad drives into the pool with a motorcycle, Jack does it with his car
Its a contest
past finch
You must have plenty of entertainment
past finch
You have to keep yourself occupied somehow
shrewd linden
I dared Jack to eat sand, dad said hed do it without the dare, So I dared dad to eat wood, jack ate the incense I had waiting to burn, dad "chugged" an ash tray, it devolves pretty quickly
past finch
They probably had enough practice with chugging dip spit
shrewd linden
Might be
past finch
||ash goes down easy atleast..||
shrewd linden
Ha, speaking from experience?
past finch
I've taken a few dares
shrewd linden
Good lord are all of you like that?
shrewd linden
Wow
past finch
I remember it was 2 options. Ash was the better of the 2
shrewd linden
What was number 1
past finch
I don't remember. I think dip spit. At least ash is burned and doesn't have as much shit in it
shrewd linden
Valid
past finch
Oh yeah. I nearly destroyed a high orbit satellite. That was the most recent incident with me. I didn't get in trouble though
shrewd linden
I remember that my dad drank so much beer one time he got into a fighting pit with jack without knowing it and Moray got 200$ out of it, Oh Moray was one of their mates, we dont talk much about him after 2012
shrewd linden
See why?
past finch
that was not what I expected but valid point
Waiting for a mod to come in here and be like what the fuk
shrewd linden
We have a different mate we dont talk about period that Jack hates to the bone. Dad will talk tho
Not if theres nothing to WTF to
past finch
Nothing yet. But occasionally there is that one MP mod that thinks mod is important
past finch
Those ones are my favorite
shrewd linden
He was so..... Well he talked like there was an electrical riding crop up his ass
If that sums it up
past finch
They dress like Spec Ops, act like their the shit, and can barely pass a fitness test
My friend became an air force MP. He failed to complete a 1.5 mile run
shrewd linden
Oh yes, I know, I did track and cross country. My buddy put 50 down that I could outrace the MP.
I outraced the MP
It was fun
past finch
Did you give him shit
shrewd linden
I gave him shit
I gave him so much shit
It was greaat
You should have seen his face
He was so red, and not just from running
My bud called him Cherry Tomato
past finch
shrewd linden
And last I heard, that stuck at that base
past finch
I hope so
past finch
I would laugh if you see him again
shrewd linden
Me too
past finch
Running is so much better when the person next to you is dying
shrewd linden
He wasnt next to me after the 15 second mark
past finch
Or behind you
shrewd linden
Yes that's more like it
past finch
It's fuel to keep going. Just to watch them suffer xd
shrewd linden
I was thinking of going Air Force, because I have extensive pilot training from Aviation classes, as well as drone piloting
But I know that I wouldnt be paired with my buddy most likely
past finch
Pilot is the only reason I'd do officer
shrewd linden
Yeah, My buddy is a Pilot
past finch
Being a pilot is fun and pays quite a bit extra
shrewd linden
McDonnell Douglas something, I dont know which plane that is. All i know is he sometimes thinks hes hot shit
past finch
I think all pilots do lol
shrewd linden
Like, we went to a bar and he tried flirting with the bartender. You dont flirt with bartenders man...
I learned that the hard way
past finch
Lmao
shrewd linden
Actually I think he wakes up in 15 minutes. Probably gunna take a couple hours for him to talk to me tho
past finch
Spam him
shrewd linden
I do that alot
My favourite thing to do is walk down there around 3pm, because they always have the same lady upfront, so she knows im his friend. And I get to stare at him creepily while he does exercises till 5pm
Which freaks his mates out
Especially his Co-Pilot
Daniel
He hates me
Oh its fun
past finch
I feel like you low key enjoy that he hates you for it
shrewd linden
Oh its not low key
He knows I enjoy that he hates it
Everyone knows
Daniel likes to talk high and mighty, and act like hes got all this and that.
So having a person show up every day to watch him get yelled at during training....
Oh it steams him
past finch
Record it and send it to him. Or play it in front of him with others around
shrewd linden
I've done that twice
One time I had my buddy replace a power point slide he was supposed to present to his flock? with one of the videos
shrewd linden
Not sure what its called, I just call it a flock because theres three total planes
past finch
Not that it's a difference
shrewd linden
6 people
past finch
I'd say flock cause it's funnier
past finch
Military is for memes
shrewd linden
Daniel also hates me hanging out with my friend because... I'm higher priority than his co-pilot
Which is great to hear
past finch
That priority tho
shrewd linden
My friend put it like this "My Wingman or my Co-Pilot, one has been there for life, the other only since I enlisted."
past finch
I had an officer do that to me and the platoon Sgt. He would always greet me but not the Sgt. He was so bothered by it
He makes a point
shrewd linden
One day Daniel called him while he was on relaxation and started yelling about how they were going to do something that day and my friend just kinda went "Buddy calm down, I spend 5 hours a day crammed in a 7 foot long 4 foot wide glass and metal tube with you, I think having some space is imperative"
past finch
Sounds hard to keep that 6 feet distance xd
shrewd linden
Again, I still have no idea what he flies. He wont tell me anything except McDonnell Douglas
Thats about it
past finch
It sounds familiar to one of the somewhat newer planes
I don't think they make many military planes though
shrewd linden
One thing that annoys me is when he gets of a fire run and I have to yell to get him to hear me
Mainly because, and he says "It fires so fast we went through 500 rounds in a couple seconds"
And that makes him partially deaf for the day
past finch
Is he slightly more deaf in one ear than the other?
shrewd linden
Yes
past finch
Left ear the more deaf one?
shrewd linden
No right
past finch
Damnit. I guessed wrong
past finch
It depends on aircraft which is more deaf
past finch
If tired doesn't work, try drunk
shrewd linden
Well that explains the need for DANIEL
shrewd linden
Oh well, he still prioritizes meee
past finch
Yah. Flying and air to air is the pilots job. Daniel is a WSO. He can fly, if your buddy feels lazy, but his job is to control bombs
shrewd linden
Not saying I'd be any more humble about it. I think it'd be pretty cool.
past finch
Yah. F15s are cool planes. They even have anti satellite missiles and other unique stuff
past finch
You're still sitting down for your job. It's like owning a really nice car. It's still cool though
shrewd linden
You arent getting outa this one, Marine
past finch
yut
past finch
For us we call that USMC
U Signed the Motherfucking Contract
shrewd linden
haha
past finch
shrewd linden
Miles above is Air force
warped rivet
Chair force
shrewd linden
Below Miles is Submarines. sorry not sorry
warped rivet
:(
past finch
Subs life sucks
warped rivet
Were u on sub?
past finch
Nope. But I know some who were
warped rivet
Dice please add naval battle for next chapters
shrewd linden
I bet it does, being stuck in a pressurized tube deep beneath the waves
warped rivet
At least u can see whales
past finch
Cramped in a smoll sub, surrounded by your fell seamen, all that have white uniforms in the middle of the ocean
ono
shrewd linden
I cant see that as a face
past finch
oh no
shrewd linden
I keep seeing and hearing a very quick Oh No
shrewd linden
No but I can hear the voice in my head that reads it say it aloud
past finch
The voices in your head. Are you crazy says thy recruiter of chair force
shrewd linden
Nope, I am 100% sane
past finch
allegedly
shrewd linden
Or well, 99%
prime pine
I stole from aservo f or acouple of months
past finch
I have a stolen 25mm explosive in my closet right now
prime pine
5.50 K/D YES
shrewd linden
I ruined my KD for my friends
past finch
I never cared about my KD
shrewd linden
I let them use me as bait for things
past finch
I play for fun and die for whatever
shrewd linden
Because they need certain kills
So I help them get said kills
I'm a nice person
Except for when I found out about smoke rounds in the AA
past finch
If killing urself counted toward your kills
shrewd linden
Then I went around smoking literally everything
past finch
I- didn't know about that
naive meteor
Hey i got a question for y’all
past finch
yut?
naive meteor
What’s the weapon you hate the most
shrewd linden
The answer is 42
naive meteor
Apart the Nambu
past finch
^
naive meteor
Yeah sure the MG-42 is annoying and all but come on
shrewd linden
Well, probably..... the....
shrewd linden
Anything the Medic has except the commando
past finch
Anything that requires more than one mag to kill an enemy
solid hinge
Liberator
naive meteor
What about the Carcano M28 @shrewd linden
I really like that gun
also because national pride but shhhh
shrewd linden
Do a stats check for every class, one outlier in each class means something different, In recon it means someone who plays the objective, in assault it means someone whos good at the game, in support it means someone whos accurate, in Medic it means someone whos garbage at the game
shrewd linden
Medics are frickin OP and have a consistently higher KD than any other class
naive meteor
In the meantime i use the Gewehr 85
*95
Yeah it’s dumb
I’m a support main but that doesn’t mean i don’t play other classes
shrewd linden
INCLUDING TANKS
naive meteor
In fact lately i’ve been playing a lot of aggressive sniper
shrewd linden
AND TANKS ARE BITCHES TO KILL
solid hinge
Tanks arnt too hard to beat
naive meteor
Bruh just use all your ordnance
rugged lantern
Anyone want to play BF 4 together? Only Russians. Write in private messages
shrewd linden
Buddy Im a recon specialist
solid hinge
They sit at the back of the mmaap getting a kill or two
shrewd linden
Tanks are bitches
naive meteor
@shrewd linden do you use the Trench carbine
shrewd linden
No, I do not
naive meteor
Good
solid hinge
I'd rather snipers camping at their spawn rather than the tanks
naive meteor
You better not do that
shrewd linden
I prefer big loud and scary
naive meteor
I sometimes use the Panzerbüchse 39
The way it was intended to
as an anti-tank rifle
shrewd linden
So the ATs and the m95
naive meteor
Exactly
When your team’s Assaults are dumb and can’t manage shit you do it for yourself
With AT rifles
shrewd linden
But if a person is really pissing me off and I currently have an AT on me, I will shoot them
shrewd linden
Sights
naive meteor
Bayonet all the way
warped rivet
Bayonet for brave comrades
shrewd linden
I was a 1000m sniper in bf4 i dont intend to give up long range sniping
shrewd linden
I intend to remain hidden
warped rivet
with iron sight?
naive meteor
With iron sight
warped rivet
;0
shrewd linden
Which is why I Iron sight from long distance
Scope Glints act like a second sun in that game
naive meteor
The only time i use scopes is on Twisted Steel
shrewd linden
Not for me, I Pixel Count
warped rivet
Cat eye
naive meteor
People was going to notice you anyways on the bloody bridge so i might as well use the scope
shrewd linden
Nah, I hide in the marsh and snipe from the logs
naive meteor
Yesterday i was playing Arras Outpost and it was the most delusional experience i ever had
Entire team is babies snipers
A couple of supports
warped rivet
Oh fuck lord
naive meteor
And my squad lead was an assault
shrewd linden
if its the entire team then thats stupid
naive meteor
I too was a sniper, but i played aggressively
past finch
I hate all support and sniper teams
shrewd linden
I hate spawn camping tanks
past finch
I run into that often
naive meteor
I was just running around bayonetting people
warped rivet
your team was full of shitbags
shrewd linden
Tanks that sit around in the back doing nothing but sniping actual snipers
Those annoy me
past finch
Yes
naive meteor
That’s how tanks usually engage other tanks
past finch
Tanks
naive meteor
From at least 800m of distance
past finch
But no. They are just trolls
wintry musk
who wants nambu to be nerfed a lot. put in a reaction
shrewd linden
Tanks are assholes man
naive meteor
I like tanks when people uses them properly
@warped rivet what the hell
Jap tanks?
warped rivet
yup
shrewd linden
Tanks are assholes
naive meteor
The US don’t have 120 howitzers kek
shrewd linden
naive meteor
They have a 105 Howitzer
past finch
They rely on the fact you can't chase them or one shot them and have supplies at base
naive meteor
Mate
shrewd linden
Tanks are assholes
warped rivet
Yeah For LVT it's 105