Day 47
"It's been three days now since I set out to find the chicken farm near Echo Creek, planning on borrowing myself some chicken and starting my own little ranch back in Deerhead Lake. I got lucky, found some cans, don't gotta rely on foraging too much for the next week, also found myself a new ride. Learning how to hijack a car was not something I'd have to learn to save my sorry ass.
While I was looking through a small house out in the field, an infected almost got me. Out in the field, I saw a blur of an infected sprinting towards me. It was fast, probably had just turned. But as it got closer and I got a better eyeful of "her", I hesitated, I don't know why- I couldn't bring myself to kill it, I instead knocked her to the ground, stomped on her chest, looked at her deep in her eyes. Felt a tear run down my cheek. It reminded me of my daughter, and to make it worse, after I killed it, there was a photo nestled deep in her back pocket. When I got back into the car, I started crying, couldn't hold the emotions in any longer. Felt like this world was too much, the past too. The past certainly did not help; all it did was just remind me of how I could've done better, how things were actually doing okay. But now I live in my own little purgatory, even if I still feel pain, sadness, and stress. I feel like my soul has been relocated to another timeline, another story that I was not supposed to take part in. But I suppose it doesn't matter eh? All this deep talk, from a man who barely knows about how you're truly supposed to feel life, being stubborn enough to keep living despite everyone around him dyin', either god has plans for me, or I've just got too much time to think."