I will do that next time I notice the issue, which seems to be after 1-2 hours of playing with 3-4 people on. We noticed a similar trend on both 42.14.1 and 42.13.1 - we were thinking it was just the newest update being more glitchy so we refreshed on the older one but are having a similar issue. Unsure if the issue is hardware/config/resource related or has to do with bugs with the current version. Obviously if we can do something to improve things, that'd be grand.
The VM has 20GB total assigned to it (this is my computer, 64GB DDR5 / 9800X3D Processor). The Zomboid server itself has 8GB currently assigned to it ( Edited in the Projectzomboid64bit.json file) and at its peak has had 8 players that it handled well for an hour or so, but will usually only have 3-4 peak now. One of them is in New Zealand, the rest are in the lower 48's of the US, and I am hosting it from Alaska, lol.
I play on the server via localhost. I'm unsure if other players desyncing would cause me to have the problems we've been having - unable to build structures, pick up generators/animals, use animal trailers, etc. The issue is only resolved when the player who seems to have caused it/noticed it first logs out then everyone else can resume until they log back in or after the server itself is restarted.
I also have an 8GB assigned Modded (Gregtech, ew lol) Minecraft server running with 2-4 players that's been going for about 4 months, but they are the same people. So generally 3-4 users connecting to the server between the two games including myself from localhost.