How the hell do I use direct connect with a Dedicated server?

[prime dragon]

All the router stuff is necessary to have a direct connection to your server

Because you have to allow the connections to go through your router

The only alternative is using a service such as Hamachi to connect through there instead

[chilly axle]

Not possible.
Either you talk to a service like Hamachi and the service talk to the host server or you set up a way for the two to talk directly, what involves messy router stuff.
Connecting directly cuts out the middle man so it's faster of course.

[green herald]

I can possibly help you reset the router