I want the whole story, how you did it, their reactions and how it's going now.
(If comfortable with that obviously)
I'm hoping to come out to my dad soon so I want ppl to have proof it will be alright.
#Can someone tell me about what coming out as trans was like?
errant creek
lofty pierBOT
It was scary asf but in the end it all turned out okay, I got so in my head that itd be awful for some reason and got really scared and nervous to the point that I kept putting it off, then in a split second decision decided to do it over message and a weight lifted off of me and it was all fine
modern spear
i was 17, i took my mum into another room and told her. she said she supported me, asking me exactly what it meant to me and what pronouns they should use for me, she also offered to help me come up with a new name bc i didnt have one yet. i asked her to tell my extended family as well.
she still supports me, she even gave me some money towards my transition.
important context: at the time, me and my younger sibling were both already out publically as non-binary so i was 99% certain that my mum wouldnt have any issues
thorny delta
I sent a message before I left for school that I had written the evening before, I added my parents to a group chat to send it.
My mother said okay my dad said nothing, I asked if she would use my name and she said she wasnāt ready but she doesnāt call me her daughter anymore yet doesnāt call me her son
I honestly donāt expect people to use my name and pronouns if they meet me as my deadname and arenāt close friends, Iām just waiting till Iām 18 and I can sort hormones and surgery out without support
This was may 12th last year btw
sleek dawn
How I came out to mon Papa (dad): it was my 18th birthday, I went to his cafe with my partner at the time and just told him that Iām trans and want to be called Ash. He said āokay I love you mon amourā and that was that! He was completely fine with it! :D
Its been two years now and he still slips up with pronouns but he always corrects himself and would never misgender me intentionally :)
To add to this: my story is probably different to a lot of peopleās because I didnāt live with him at the time! We had never had a conversation about the queer community, so I was so nervous that he wouldnāt understand but he did and it was completely fine!
tiny yachtBOT
I LOVE YOU TOO!! @sleek dawn
-# (management are plotting against me)
errant coyote
I figured out i was nonbinary when I was 15-16 and came out at 17.
I first came out to my best friend at like 16, we were already out as bi/queer to each other so I brought it up really casually and we talked everything over between us. I spent a few months being out to only her, trying different names and figuring out what I wanted from transition
When I was 17 I decided to come out to my parents.
I wrote a letter explaining what nonbinary meant, how u resonate with the identity and what being nonbinary would look like for me (changing my pronouns and name, and starting hrt) I chose a moment where we were all together and in a good relaxed mood to bring it up and I was prepared to answer questions and give them time to procress everything. I was already out to them as bi so they knew i was lgbtq+, and I was always authentic to myself and not gender conforming so it once they understood what i was saying they were very supportive
At 18 they helped me legally change my name and get all my documents updated
Fast forward 8 years and im now 25, 2 years on T which i am loving and working towards getting top surgery either via the NHS or private. My parents and siblings all love me just the same and theyve all enthusiastic about my transition. They still slip up with pronouns at times but its unintentional and they correct themselves/each other
I appreciate im very lucky that my parents are extremely open minded and accepting so not all stories are and simple and easy as mine. It does provide the hopeful and positive side of experiences when you see a lot of negativity online about it
modest cairn
this may be a heavy story so please read ahead at your own discretion. i dont want to sugarcoat my experience.
i've known i was trans since i was 5. i learned the terms when i was 13. i came out at 14.
it was hard for a really long time. i was living with my very heavily religious and lgbtqphobic grandparents. i was the first out trans kid in my school and the amount of harassment i faced was more than anyone should at 14. this continued for me up until college. things were easier then, but i'd decided at that time to use gender neutral labels because i'd found that people leaned more into accepting something they could percieve as feminine still.
just before my 18th birthday, i moved back in with my mum. i came out to her and she said she accepted me, but no matter how many times i tell her she still wont use my name and pronouns. she still calls me her daughter.
i'm 20 now. just over a month ago, i started a new job and i get to live on location. ive made no progress in transitioning medically, but i am fully transitioned socially. i'm out to everyone i work with, and i'm not afraid to be out here. all my friends love and accept my identity. its taken 15 years to get here, but i'm in a place where im happy and i no longer feel like i need to justify my existence to anyone.
it's hard for a long time. but it will get easier with time. it will be okay someday
heavy nest
In all honesty, I told my parents when I was 14ish? They sort of ignored it and made some weird comments here and there about my hair/binder until this Christmas where my mom just went - youre trans still aren't you. And I went yeah, and then she just went okay if youre still like this for six years its probably okay. She's asked my before to speak to older trans people she knows to 'vibe check' me but its mostly okay to be fair. My family started using the right name/Pronouns from that Christmas forward
inland bane
I came out at 11 (13 years ago!) I always knew something about me wasnāt quiteā¦ right, and it took identifying as a lesbian to realise what the issue really was.
Coming out was a pretty easy thing for me personally as my family are not religious or homo/transphobic in the slightest so I didnāt have any fear of them reacting negatively.
My parents fought tooth and nail to get me into counselling, referred to gender services and then put on blockers at 13. I am so incredibly grateful to have their support. When I eventually had top surgery, my dad came with me to hospital and took care of me while I was recovering.
My grandparents and their friends do struggle quite a bit with it and I did receive a very tearful call from my grandma when she found out I was getting top surgery. my parents always use my correct name and introduce me as their son but they do slip up from time to time with pronouns.
At the end of the day, my family and the people around me just care about my happiness and that is it.
mortal stirrup
honestly iāve come out so many times to different people iāve kinda stopped thinking about it
but i came out as trans to my dad, then sister, then my brother and then my mum. my family are decently accepting, my mum didnāt use my chosen name until i legally changed it but i did about a month after i came out
i came out as genderfluid initially, then just ftm/nonbinary depending on who was asking, atp im content with my family seeing me as a trans man and everyone else a transmasc nonbinary person.
i also kinda speedran going private for hrt the second i could (about a year after i came out publically) and just used my student finance to do it, been on t for 4 years atp and ā¦top surgery will happen eventually but the nhs are slow as all hell even with me being with a clinic and getting my stuff through my gp
honestly iād probably do everything the way i did it the first time, but sometimes i do wish id experimented a bit more before coming out. i was only focused on being seen as a guy by people that when i hit decently far on t i had to reevaluate a lot of stuff
honestly i dont care enough to keep coming out. people who need to or i want to can know about my gender stuff other people can just know me as a trans man. iāve had people be weird ofc but im only focused on making myself happy
stuff can and will change and thatās normal. iām very much a ādo whatās right for me in the momentā person lol iām too fluid in my gender and sexuality to care enough to nail it down
steep fiber
When i came out to my mum ngl I did it really weirdly bcs i didnāt know how to word it, i was 15 and started off by saying i wanted to go by a different name and when she asked why i said it was because I was non-binary (at the time) and wanted to use they/them and not she/her. After telling her and the rest of my immediate family, none of them accept me other than using my name (which is legally changed) but they see it as me not liking my deadname and not that iām a trans man.
iāve had many conversations with my family, particularly my mum about how much it means to me to want to be accepted by her and my family but iām hit with the same answer every time of āyouāll always be a girl because thatās what youāre born asā.
reason iām sharing this is that despite this all is that my friends accept me and also remind me that iām accepted by them regardless of my family. I donāt know where iād be without their support and i love them all very much :]
so whatever happens, having friends that support and stick by you is the most important thing
worldly swan
I came out about a decade ago as nonbinary. My family didnāt get it and actively ignored it for well over a year (a contributing factor was that they didnāt like my chosen name + my deadname was the name of a relative whoād passed away). Eventually they started using my name and pronouns & now theyāre incredibly supportive, but it took a lot of work to get there.
My family are all v left leaning and progressive, my godfatherās gay so they werenāt intentionally homophobic or transphobic, it was just hard for them to swallow that I, their child, was trans, and the potential dangers Iād have to deal with because of it. It did damage a lot of the trust I had in them for quite some time, but thatās been rebuilt over the years.