Post your jokes and memes about applying Balatro logic to real life poker and casinos here!
#Balatro_irl: Applying Balatro logic to real life
tall forge
"WDYM I CANT PLAY A GOLD CARD MADE FROM THE DEVIL!?"
obtuse otter
slaps down Temperance tarot card
steals dealer's wallet
hallow glen
The dealer watching me as I unpack a pack of spectral cards at the poker table,
set five cards on fire,
and steal 20 dollars from their wallet
tall forge
Dealer sees me throw all my money at them
And pull out a blueprint on how to win poker
hallow glen
Balatro_irl: Applying Balatro logic to real life
obtuse otter
i crack an egg on top of the deck of cards and take 5$ from the guy sitting next to me
hallow glen
The whole Poker table when the dealer slaps down one of these, and they must score x8 base or get a bullet to the head:
tall forge
XD
obtuse otter
*The whole Poker table when the dealer slaps down one of these, and they must sc...
i pull the tag out from my shirt and the room fills with water
hallow glen
tall forge
Me cutting my finger off so I actually have a straight flush instead of a high card
hallow glen
LMAO
tall forge
XD
obtuse otter
side note, why does the card Lovers only change one card and not two
tall forge
true...
hallow glen
Sad :<
tall forge
also why does the sun turn things into hearts and not lovers
Not even venus who has at least a bit of romance
onyx oasis
i sit down at a table with millennials and gen Z. i say "earth is overrated." they respond with agreement, but im talking about balatro
hallow glen
LMAO
hallow glen
Broke: Earth
Woke: PLANET X
tall forge
Hold up, let me play a Hermit to get 20 more gold
obtuse otter
me when i join a track team so my straight beats your four of a kind
tall forge
LOl
hallow glen
me when i join a track team so my straight beats your four of a kind
LMAO
onyx oasis
me when i take up hiking for a month and am severely disappointed with the 3 bags of chips that show up in my house
tall forge
me pulling out some icecream to get 100 chips magically
and then it melts and I only get 95
hallow glen
Me when I become a communist not for the people, but for that sweet sweet +20 Mult potential
tall forge
true
obtuse otter
me when I jump in a puddle to get like +12 chips for my two pair (why is this joker so bad)
hallow glen
Me when I graduate a four year bachelor course in college just so my flush with two aces beats your full house
tall forge
Me spending my lifes savings for a rainbow card that somehow gives me 1.5x multi, only to realize I lost do to lack of anything else, to a leaf
Me cutting a card in half to get more multi
hallow glen
The rest of the poker table when I start stabbing the shit out of the guy to my right for that sweet sweet Mult
onyx oasis
PURPLE CUP JUMPSCARE
hallow glen
AA
tall forge
and then using knife to get- If my keyboard wasnt so slow I would have said the joke first
hallow glen
Challenge: Be the first to make a joke about this Joker
tall forge
Me pulling out my 100+ jacks
onyx oasis
Challenge: Be the first to make a joke about this Joker
thunk already beat us to it
tall forge
thunk already beat us to it
I forgot about that
onyx oasis
Me pulling out my 100+ jacks
what in the windows solitaire is that
tall forge
Me after I realized I lost to water
hallow glen
Make a joke about this one
hallow glen
Me after I realized I lost to water
Holy shit
tall forge
what in the windows solitaire is that
wdym, I just used a glitcch and got 136 jacks
I do a little bit of glitch hunting
onyx oasis
> magician tells me to pick a card, any card
> it immediately duplicates in my hands
> wtf
tall forge
Make a joke about this one
Mark rober making dna into trillions of nerf guns
Me makeing dna into trillions of the same card, only to be beaten by someone using a blueprint, some glass, rainbows, and the time of day,
Me raising my fist to get more multi
Hold up, let me become a burglar real quick that way I can have 3 more hands and get hit by a bus more times, only to play a jack and lose all my multi and cry
onyx oasis
onyx oasis
im still waiting to get the violet vessel bug(?) in my own runs
tall forge
same
digital dew
hallow glen
incredible
digital dew
The casino will be open soon lol
But I kinda had a couple ideas on how it could work
hallow glen
But I kinda had a couple ideas on how it could work
Don't forget to eat ice cream in front of the poker table
digital dew
I have a red and blue die that can be used to track hands and discards
digital dew
If you wanna hear some ideas I had let me know
hallow glen
If you wanna hear some ideas I had let me know
Ooh how will you handle bonus card types like Glass or Mult?
digital dew
i can probably print out some labels for them, and roll a 4 sided die to see if the glass card breaks
Cause, y’know, making irl glass cards would be expensive as hell
hallow glen
i can probably print out some labels for them, and roll a 4 sided die to see if ...
You could get a plastic foil for it so it looks like glass
digital dew
yea,
Of course this would have to be played with one person as the “casino owner” and the other being the player
stuck mica
digital dew
I could tell you guys how to make one
errant atlas
Challenge: Be the first to make a joke about this Joker
this joker looks like chara ngl
anyways
me taking off my glasses just so i can win with royal flush
digital dew
anyone wanna learn to get their own jokers?
plain garden
me after freaking amputating one of my digits just to get a better hand in poker:
wait this joke was made already
frick
me after cutting up my cards just so my hand is twice as good
holding time at a standstill for the funnies
hallow glen
holding time at a standstill for the funnies
Playing my hand at exactly when the sun is going down so my hand is worth twice as much:
plain garden
me on my way to rob a school
errant atlas
me showing everyone on the table that im often visitor of sushi restaurants, they give me loyalty card, just to prove that i should win with three of a kind against flush hous
i may have done the wording wrong
plain garden
me destroying a celestial body just so my high card beats a flush
plain garden
I have a red and blue die that can be used to track hands and discards
what if it's more than 6?
errant atlas
what if it's more than 6?
two dices!
wise river
Me getting the police called on me because i snuck in a picture of dna and stole a blueprint from a construction site then counterfeited my cards with glass in it then got 2 extra cards in hand from my gun then held a mathematician hostage and told them to count up the entire playing hand then when the players said i couldn't play 5 aces i shot them both then waited 5 hours for the mathematician to finish counting and by then i was getting my life sentence
clear ruin
casually breaks in
wise river
when you take a picture of the sun setting then using that in poker:
K ima relax relax now
plain garden
me shaking a kids toy to summon a fortune telling device, transmuting my ace into glass just so i get the best hand on the table
halcyon bane
the dealer wont let me discard and get a new hand, is he stupid?
onyx oasis
must be the water boss 😔
wise river
When the dealer kicks me out because of I have 5 aces in my hand when he should've seen when i turned my 2 of clubs into another ace with the power of witchcraft
clear ruin
litterally burns a dead body to turn my 5 of diamonds into a ace of hearts
onyx oasis
im so confused why everyone constantly needs a knife to cut open their eggs
clear ruin
Me having an egg for 24 hours straight (~100 blinds) then selling it for ~$302
plain garden
me earning my pocket money while playing poker from the to-do list i have:
clear ruin
Me having a joker colored yellow and after every round i gain $4:
plain garden
me getting a joker and rubbing water on it so i get a flush:
wise river
When i don't like my King and Queen so i pull out tarot card(secretly scissors) then just cut them up and now im kicked out for property damage whoops
clear ruin
Me changing a jokers clothes and hat so my full house of threes and fives beats your four of a kind of fours:
errant atlas
im so confused why everyone constantly needs a knife to cut open their eggs
so they wont spill the money from inside
and carefully gather multiplier from walls of the egg
wise river
Me engraving my cards in gold so that i can get more money in the casino
plain garden
why did the guy with the royal flush win againt my straight flush? shouldnt they be the same?
wicked fossil
"I play Ace,Ace,Ace,10,10. Being a college student (and therefore technically a scholar), my full house with three aces is worth more than your straight flush"
clear ruin
"I have a random man dressed like a joker, so that my straight beats your Four of a Kind."
clear ruin
"and he's going insane"
onyx oasis
the 18 day wait for the punchline was worth it
clear ruin
lol
jolly trellis
places Blueprint next to $1 bill
💵
You know, every time I go play pool and sink the eight ball, the fortune teller machine in the corner automatically reads my fortunes. I think I got Death last time and it converted my car into my neighbour's Bugatti.
onyx oasis
congrats
jolly trellis
During the summer when Ice Cream is available, every serving gets smaller and smaller including the price. It goes down by 5 cents starting from a dollar.
tall forge
pog
jolly trellis
I was participating in a water acrobatics team but only I showed up for my team. I had to hire four unexperienced standins to help me. While they didn't do much, we still got first place. (Splash)
I was bringing a mysterious dagger to a pawn shop. Everyone I see has been giving me higher and higher resell value as I go to each shop. When I place it in front of the appraiser, the item to its right disappears. This time it was a hard-boiled egg that was 160 years old, and this dagger was worth a million.
We all protested against some new stupid law. In retaliation, we raised our fists against this corrupt leader. What kicked it was a kid hiding in the crowd convinced the bozo enough.
tall forge
shh
jolly trellis
I order the same thing often at my favorite restaurant. It's a fried chicken platter. But everytime I order it, there seems to be one extra piece than the last. (Supernova)
clear ruin
Today i saw a severed hand, and decided to grab it. Don't know who it belonged to, but it's mine now. (Grabber)
Last night, I got so drunk that I discarded $100 dollars and one of my pet dogs. (Drunkard)
jolly trellis
One day I had a tour of a laboratory. They showed me the cloning lab. I saw a DNA vial in a test chamber with a blueprint of the schematic next to it. I was amazed to see it can create an exact copy of something. But this time it made an extra one.
weary raptor
"wtf do you mean playing a fish"
wicked fossil
"wtf do you mean playing a fish"
I think he means playing a “Flush five” which involves playing five cards of the same suit and rank.
weary raptor
lol
jolly trellis
I was at the bus stop and when the bus came, I wasn't allowed because I wore a shirt that said "Burger King".
plain garden
uhhh hey guys i played 5oak aces at the table and they accused me of cheating
wicked fossil
Me building the first "quantum" computer out of straights containing aces:
plain garden
why? i used death
wicked fossil
I racked up some credit card debt larger than my allowance, and tarot cards keep appearing out of seemingly nowhere. [credit card, vagabond synergy]
round mulch
Dude c'mon lemme winnnn i got a loyalty card that makes me eligible for an insta win
runic dune
What do you mean the lot is full???? I absolutely CAN park here, my car is negative.
jolly trellis
I was at "The Club" last night and they had poker tables. My hand was a Royal Flush full of clubs, considering it was called "The Club" after all.
My life savings was gone.
Afterwards I went to sit down at the stage show. There was a comedian onstage named Jimbo. Every joke he made, the tables numbered 2 to 5 would laugh twice.
jolly trellis
Being dissapointed from the stand-up comedian, I went to grab a drink from the bar. Hope I can forget about this.
After I got my receipts, I threw them out, but noticed I had two receipts?
I didn't order two drinks, did I? Guess I'll discard both of these.
I couldn't find a ride home. My phone was dead.
I waited at the roadside, hopefully to hitchhike a ride.
Some guy stopped for me, asked me what my name was.
"My name's Jack."
He said to hit the road, and drove off.
plain garden
for some reason he was going at 90km/h when the speed limit was 60
tall forge
Was expecting you to ride a bus but since you are a face card they told you to hit the road
and combine them
but that works also Ig
wicked fossil
I went to see a strange house down the road. Somehow they had poker tables, but I couldn't remember what hands I played at first. It didn’t matter, though, as my bag of popcorn got me through it okay. I had a little less popcorn afterwards, though.
errant atlas
applying balatro logic to irl with jokers from these demos are kinda hard
plain garden
use your
IMAGINATION
errant atlas
I went trading with someone, wanted their shiny charizard card, but ended up getting money for my hologram bulbusaur
is that good enough
(trading card)
i dont have that vivid imagination :(
weary raptor
"He pulled out a god damn fish onto the table, which was so big none of us can even see what cards we drew"
errant atlas
"He pulled out a god damn fish onto the table, which was so big none of us can e...
Ungodly largemouth bass
wicked fossil
"You practice your mannerisms into the wall" they said. Gee, do I really need to practice my mannerisms twice as hard?
tall forge
lol
foggy marsh
"What do you mean I don't get 20% interest for every dollar I save at the bank?"
foggy marsh
That more than anything else would be amazing irl
tall forge
I should not have laughed that hard
weary raptor
"Where's an economy tag when you need it?"
tall forge
"Where's an economy tag when you need it?"
Pov you hitt free parking in monopoly
onyx oasis
what do you skip for taking the tag 👀
weary raptor
taxes
runic dune
"uhh yes I have this coupon here that says everything in the shop is free"
"Wait why am I being asked to leave???"
weary raptor
"A drunk guy threw a bottle and soaked my cards so I had to get new ones"
"He also soaked my pants so as an apology by the staff they gave me some spare trousers and a business card"
plain garden
'wdym my card is worth less because i painted it rainbow, it's supposed to be worth more!!!!'
marble sapphire
'wdym my card is worth less because i painted it rainbow, it's supposed to be wo...
"it aint hard to understand bud, you turned it into a psa 7.6"
marble sapphire
i quit
plain garden
no you dont
marble sapphire
well then i fire myself
plain garden
yuh huh
plain garden
your a frog
no im not
marble sapphire
😨
plain garden
:]
plain garden
*i skip away flawlessly*
insert cool vid of you dying to the club (you had club flush build)
marble sapphire
_insert cool vid of you dying to the club (you had club flush build)_
nuh uh
plain garden
yuh huh
plain garden
then take my psa 11 rainbow card
plain garden
yuh huh
marble sapphire
meh
plain garden
i change the rules
marble sapphire
😨
plain garden
(i bribed the manager again)
marble sapphire
well now you have to deal with half of his net worth
plain garden
no i dont
marble sapphire
yuh huh
marble sapphire
nuh uh
plain garden
yuh huh
wicked fossil
A kenku found a strange Obelisk. Whenever they broke their strongest habit, the Obelisk became more powerful, but when a habit became too strong or they relapsed into their strongest habit, the Obelisk's power severely weakened.
jolly trellis
As I was cleaning tables, I found someone drew a Joker on a napkin. It looked more like plans or blueprints.
I picked up the tips left behind. When I thought I was done with the table, I swear a second tip pile wasn't there.
digital dew
I recently got a red card playing soccer. When I decided to just skip the penalty, we were up three points.
marble sapphire
had a funny dream about opening a pokemon booster pack, interestingly i found a rainbow mega charizard with a steel card, idk, i felt a bit woozy that day
onyx oasis
lol
hallow glen
Glad this thread is still going strongggggggg
and with all the new Jokers
plenty of room
for Balatro_irl!
marble sapphire
Weirdly enough, on the 13th, I some a maniac woman Karen with a water gun shooting upwards at the dead of night, unsure what she was trying to do. And overall a weird sight
wicked fossil
I was playing poker with a strange obelisk in my possession. As someone who is known for playing a high card, I avoided playing it like the plague. When I did play one, it was devastating. To add insult to injury, I was playing against an ox at the time and it stole all my money the instant I played the high card.
(Alternate ending: I was in debt before playing the fateful high card) At least the ox I played against was happy to pay off my debt in full when I played the high card.
marble sapphire
I was playing poker with a strange obelisk in my possession. As someone who is k...
Damn, must be nice to get out of all-in bluff
Kinda sad that everytime I would play highcard bluff, my Ace high would burn and it kept getting me banned from poker, strangely enough it made my bluff better
round mulch
I ate the big bean
Now I ate an ice cream on this hot summer day
Now I ate some popcorn in the movies
And finally ate a banana
Tried to eat the Cavendish
But now I'm just stuffed and can't be an acrobat
Nor a stuntman, oops more than 6 lines in
Now without a job, I became a vagabond
Who can't fit into regular pants
I'm hella gluttonous, but at what cost
marble sapphire
ever thought about going on a cerimonial cut?
weary raptor
I ate the big bean
Now I ate an ice cream on this hot summer day
Now I ate som...
I'm envious of you
marble sapphire
be envious looking out the window
weary raptor
boutta go to the movies, want some popcorn on the way back?
there's a club not so far away but I don't have my driver's license
let's brainstorm what we should do
proper shard
guys i just painted a purple seal on a card and I threw it away, and hours later I still didn't get any tarot, what did I do wrong?
please i need quick answers otherwise the casino will steal my house
tall forge
The house always wins
Are you an oldest or youngest child? you need to be the medium for it to work
weary raptor
be careful now, it can put you in a trance
luckily the worst thing that'll happen is deja vu
ignoring the fact you are now homeless and have your bank account taken from you as well as your identity
plain garden
please i need quick answers otherwise the casino will steal my house
for the house you just need to discard a few times then use sort by suit/rank to figure out the cards
marble sapphire
luckily the worst thing that'll happen is deja vu
Nah a wraith will come and haunt
wicked fossil
Nah a wraith will come and haunt
Aah… the wraith drained my bank account and wiped my credit card debt… at least I got something rare out of it.
marble sapphire
Aah… the wraith drained my bank account and wiped my credit card debt… at least ...
at least it gave you a psa 10 baseball card...?
just a random guess
proper shard
does anyone have a spare wraith? i need one please
marble sapphire
all i have is this silly ouija board :/
proper shard
keep it to yourself, i don't wanna lose a finger
wicked fossil
at least it gave you a psa 10 baseball card...?
At least I had a gift card, a rough gem and a rocket before being haunted.
marble sapphire
Speaking of rockets, did they ever find that lost satelite that went rogue throughout the solar system?
round mulch
Nope, the guy we sent to space to check on it got lost in navigation. Honestly, he was kind of a clown. A "joker" in space you could say
proper shard
well, at least he probably saw some beautiful constellations
tall forge
I heard he got burnt by the sun and became furtilizer that upgraded the planet 🤔
marble sapphire
I heard those ashes from the sun managed to come back into earth and was then turned into a coupon for planet models and telescopes
wicked fossil
Looks like my (model) rocket somehow got to the moon. Now it’s giving me 40% interest in my bank account. Furthermore, It’s been giving me $1 extra per paycheck. Too bad I don’t have a bull or bootstraps to further reap the benefits…
marble sapphire
I love death
royal finch
sage bough
Me playing a flush five of glass cards with red seals in the casino and now I have all the riches to pay off EVERY debt in the world millions of times.
round mulch
List of potential band names:
The Delirious Duo
The Triumphant Trio
The Fabulous Family
The Oblivious Order
The Transient Tribe
weary raptor
List of potential band names:
The Delirious Duo
The Triumphant Trio
The Fabulou...
i thought The Delinquent Duo lol
round mulch
Damn yours is better lol
Still need to learn all the joker names to create the greatest irl logic thing ever
weary raptor
lol
marble sapphire
The ignorant idol
marble sapphire
i thought The Delinquent Duo lol
Also I don't know why "defenestrative duo" came to my mind reading that
round mulch
The classic
You know the defenestrative duo got beef with glass joker
proper shard
why do poor people still exist nowadays? just get up to $4, then throw a card, or even a stone, and then you now have a free tarot on your pocket, which you can sell or use to get more money
tall forge
real
That or just play "What does that cloud look like?" and every time you say 9 you get $X were X is how many clouds youve said look like 9
proper shard
so it doesn't have to look like a 9 according to me, therefore infinite money (:
marble sapphire
Smh it's not that hard to get money, just buy a rocket and beat up your head, arm, a needle, a window, drink water, or literally anything else
proper shard
or buy a whole ass satelite and buy all the planets on the solar system
marble sapphire
Exactly
Or yknow, be nice and send everyone a $50 amazon giftcard, then just wait a bit, and sell their souls
jolly trellis
There was a Finnish clown on the street who wouldn't get any tips. I dropped a $1 bill in the tip jar. Somehow it got cloned and all the colors looked negative. I asked what his name was. He replies MA OON PERKEO!!!!
tall forge
XD
wicked fossil
Me when I have a D6 which can only roll a 6 and win twice as often when gambling
plush iris
we need to bring this back
marble sapphire
throw it back even
wicked fossil
Me when I gain x2 mult or more because this chat was thrown back 4 or more times:
Where's Mr. Bones for this chat?
proper shard
he's busy undering some tale
marble sapphire
nooooooOOoOooOOOOo
plush iris
Not me going insane to get x2.5 mult
plush iris
Pov: me learning magic just so I could get a lucky card
plush iris
Also me summoning ghosts from the dead just so my straight flush gives me a spectral
wicked fossil
Me when I go stargazing and all of my cards are diamonds and I get x0.1 mult every time I look at the earth:
plain garden
He fell down Mt Ebott
and he ran into a talking flower in a pot
tall forge
He had some bullets freindlyness pellets
plush iris
Not me going to university and getting a masters degree and then going to work at nasa so i have a 1 in 4 chance to upgrade my full house
frigid apex
let me keep a lot of steel in my hands to multiply my chips
plush iris
let me keep a lot of steel in my hands to multiply my chips
i have blood on my hands from all the glass, but the x2 is worth it.
jolly trellis
I worked at a steel factory for a while. When I retired, I was gifted a custom made dogtag acknowledging my efforts, so I wore it since.
For some reason, everywhere I go I always get 1.5x times more the quantity of what I get. More food, more clothes, more anything. Maybe not children.
I should try this on a casino.
plush iris
I saw a guy named Jack hitchhike. I told him to hit the road. Now I have multiplier for some reason
jolly trellis
I went to a Cryptid concert and saw all sorts of clowns from last year's circus. Some of which were crusty, some were fascinated with Jolly.
plain garden
m
wicked fossil
How long does a chat need to be inactive before it gets hidden from followers? This should serve as a good guideline for when Mr. Bones should be used to save the chat.
plain garden
3 days i think
tall forge
It can be changed in settings by the op
frigid apex
tries to strengthen an army of 10 by adding one more person "Hi, we're Jack now !"
jolly trellis
I treated the boys to a couple Red Baron pizzas. We felt like kings. But the next day my stomach increased to 1.5x its size.
wicked fossil
As if 1.5x stomach capacity is a bad thing (maybe it is idk)...
tall forge
probably is
plush iris
I went to a store that makes cups and things like that
I found a vessel
A violet one
But it costed alot more than the others
wicked fossil
But it costed alot more than the others
Three times as much, perhaps?
jolly trellis
There was a creepy monk-like being dressed in purple around the corner. He offered a fortune using his sixth sense for the price of $6.
I thought, why not? I payd him $6, he handed me a card that read:
"Immolate yourself, and fortune will come your way."
I thought, okay? So I lit a picture of myself on fire and it magically turned into a $20 bill.
marble sapphire
I put 4 different flowers into a pot for decoration, turn around and next I thing see are 12 flowers
wicked fossil
So I have this gift card laying around for a while now... All of my property has been increasing in value ever since.
glass trout
there is this random joker in my house, and my things keep duplicating! they dont take up space as well, so i think im having a stroke. the joker keeps studying blueprints of the house and the brainstormed designs, and its increasing the copied things
jolly trellis
I forgot I left a hard boiled egg in the fridge and I suspect it had gone bad. As soon as I was about to throw it out, some man in a top hat asked if he can have it for $2,000. How long have I had that egg for it to be this valuable?
wild venture
I forgot I left a hard boiled egg in the fridge and I suspect it had gone bad. A...
about 666.6666666... rounds of poker worth of time
tall forge
666 because the othed 2 dollars was its starting value probably
wild venture
(wait egg starts at 2? coulda sworn it started a 3)
tall forge
(Isnt it base cost 5$ which half is 2.5$?)
proper shard
it does start at 2, since the game always rounds down
round mulch
Rode the bus to work today; was astonished to see all the royalties boarding the bus, though it only increased my frustration as the bus was stopping constantly and it was getting late
primal lark
Hey did you bring the blueprint for the building we're supposed to build?
Yeah I have it right here! Let me just take it out a-
...Is... that a blueprint of a banana?
I... I think so.
Well, you still have the original sketch for it right?
Yeah I'll just take it out an-
...Is that a... drawing of the blueprint of the banana?
tall forge
Thats great
wild venture
Hey did you bring the blueprint for the building we're supposed to build?
Yeah ...
"jerry this is why we don't allow you to bring your lunch to the construction site"
primal lark
"jerry this is why we don't allow you to bring your lunch to the construction si...
"nonono wait, remember the time with the uhh the ramen! that time our materials got duplicated?"
marble sapphire
"well that was great, until you threw all the wood away and we got like, x1.85 the materials instead of the double we couldve had"
primal lark
The store manager watching me take a coupon tag off an item and watching as everything in the store is set to a $0 price:
wild venture
the store manager watching me rip off a tag, draw a red clown looking thing on said coupon and royalty appears out of nowhere
frozen ruin
wild venture
so the tarot is probably sun, torn joker and ride the bus
assuming a 3oak aces of hearts
since he just walked into the casino i'm guessing all hands are level 1 and ride the bus isn't boosted
thats 1,512 chips, that is way less than the amount of atoms in the known universe
tall forge
Ehhh, maybe not your universe
marble sapphire
since he just walked into the casino i'm guessing all hands are level 1 and ride...
Well he rode the bus to end up at the casino therefore boosting the bus for every nanosecond spent on the bus
plush iris
not me consulting with the dead with a weird shaped circle and a cardboard sheet with letters and numbers for my hand to become all aces
not me squishing an object off its intended limit creating something of infinite density that sucks up anything in its path just so my hands are slightly better
I have a mom. a dad, grandma, uncle, cousins, aunt, grandpa. My friends. And what i get from that is lots of love. And x4 mult for my four of a kind
plush iris
why do i always get x1.5 mult during rainbows?
wicked fossil
I like it when my Ramen doubles everything I own. Too bad someone keeps hooking away 2% of it every time I try to use my ramen for that.
sage bough
guess the hook is a ramen enjoyer
wicked fossil
guess the hook is a ramen enjoyer
Makes sense why ramen devalues by x0.02 mult every time the hook activates it's effect of discarding two cards...
digital dew
I love sketching blueprints to design building only for it to copy the notes I wrote next to it
wicked fossil
People always forget that in order to prevent blueprints from unintentionally copying things, you must place them in such a way that nothing next to them are to the right of it. Classic rookie mistake.
The only times a blueprint will not copy your notes next to it and to the right are if they are written on napkin paper (brainstorm) and nothing is to the left of them, or if you have another blueprint next to it.
marble sapphire
well wouldn't the blueprint not copy say, a giftcard?
and possibly multiple other objects
digital dew
It also won’t copy the gold I have but it’ll copy a criminal
tardy tinsel
It also won’t copy the gold I have but it’ll copy a criminal
You shouldn’t give it bad role models
Like criminals
wicked fossil
I also heard that blueprints tend to copy pirates, nostalgia, kings, risk-takers, and a literal mathematical series, but won't copy eggs, jugglers, or drunkards. Strange.
primal lark
"Hey john how are those vegetables coming along"
"Almost done! Just gotta chop these onions"
knife drops and fall on the floor, to the left of john
they slowly look at each other
"...John-"
"I'm sorry Steve."
"JOHN."
"YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THERE'S ONLY ONE OF US MAKING IT OUT OF HERE"
" ...please.. I just... cant lose another one... we can fix this we can get a banana! Ice cream! Popcorn! Surely you have some of those in the kitchen it's just"
*john takes this eternal pin off his shirt and gives it to steve"
"...Ill see you another stake."
+4 Mult
"NOOOOOOOOOO"
marble sapphire
why was he worth 2 dollars
primal lark
insead of bht being *
Oopsie daisy
wicked fossil
"Hey john how are those vegetables coming along"
"Almost done! Just gotta chop ...
Huh, I thought that if someone with the eternal sticker was the closest thing to the right of a knife (a dagger-like one might I add), everyone and everything to the right of them would be safe.
plush iris
Not me going to the bar and getting drunk as 
for 1 extra discard
grim tree
thunk already beat us to it
she Smeared Joker on my XVII - The Stars till i Opps! All Sixes Bloodstone
wicked fossil
Me when my wild card enhances an obsidian arrowhead, an onyx agate, a bloodstone, and a literal diamond (in the rough) at the same time:
proper shard
me when i go to the casino with a machine that lets me make modified steam to add even more bullshit to the table like fucking optimus prime and gain even more points
proper shard
what the fuck do you mean the leaf that you just put on the table makes my cards unable to score
tall forge
what the frick do you mean the heart you just put on the table makes one of my jokers unable to do anything. Also why the frick do you just have a heart!?!?
proper shard
what the bloody hell do you mea-
-# dies of a heart attack as a decapitated head is dropped at the table by the dealer. turns out he debuffed the wrong heart
tall forge
+ = 