tw suicide tw self harm

[feral wolf]

relapsed again
i have ap exams and ive been studying all day and i finally went downstairs for lunch at like 5:30 pm and my father spent the whole time i was eating lecturing me about two missing chem assignments i forgot about (we dont even have due dates in chem rn bc our teacher is on maternity leave so everything in our class is a mess) and then because i didnt schedule my swimming and hiking requirements this weekend or next bc i have aps and itll delay me getting to eagle by a week or two
and then i asked him to just let me eat in peace after studying all day and he wouldn’t even let me talk properly
and my mother as usual took his side more or less
and ever since my brother was born my parents have spent less and less time with me and now they still constantly play games with him and stuff but barely talk to me unless its about something related to college applications or school
like i can explain the same book i recently got into five times and every time will be news to them bc they just tune out anything i’m saying
i cant do this anymore and i was trying not to hurt myself anymore but its not working
i’m tired

[feral wolf]

tw suicide tw self harm

[coral oyster]

Thats messed up. He should have respected your needs, because you matter more than your work. I can imagine everything happening at once would make it hard to not relapse.

But your strong, okay? You've survived everyday in your life, so keep up the streak!

Have you told your parents how you feel? Cause if so thats just irresponsible parenting.

I know its probably repetitive, but have you thought of going to a therapist? Or perhaps even calling a help phone to vent to a professional?

Stay strong, okay?

Im not sure what to say to be of true help since I barely know you. But take a moment to seek comfort from those who matter, be it a friend, a pet, or yourself.

Cause you occupy mass, you have volume, and you exist! So you matter!

[feral wolf]

ive told them some of it but they dont like listening