Narcissism

[warm stone]

TRIGGER WARNING

I take pills for my diagnosis, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) but i have recently started not taking them due to how || suicidal || i have been feeling, i dont know what to do.. i just hate how narcissistic i am.. i know that i cant control it (sometimes) but i sometimes wish i really never had this disorder. I hate this so much i just want my suffering to end already...

not only that but i have been thinking of getting back into || self-harm ||

[rotund lake]

alright. Now, taking into account your disorder, I'm not sure if this'll help you. If I was narcissistic, which many claim I am, I wouldn't even start to think of doing this stuff. Imagine how helpless that would make you seem. You're gonna hurt yourself just because you're sad? Do you even get anything from it?
You could think of it this way. And it's how I've always felt about self-harm and suicide. ||"If I do this, I'm weak. I can't even deal with my own problems well enough to avoid hurting myself. I need to be better. And I can do that by..."|| Note that this only works if you really believe it, and if you're in a really bad spot, it's not worth thinking this way because it could make it a lot worse.

[rough narwhal]

Remember, you do not have to treat your NPD as villainous or evil personality, alright? And not all everyone hates you for being narcissistic. Some of them definitely understand your feelings and emotions, ready to lift your spirits. Whereas the others do not dislike you, but doesn't hate you.

[rough narwhal]

Oh keep in mind that suffering is very important for your life, even if it's making you suffer from absolutely devastating consequences.

[rough narwhal]

Quote, unquote: "What does not kill us, makes us stronger." Suffering makes us more resilient, better able to endure hardships. Just as a muscle, in order to build up, must endure some pain, so our emotions must endure pain in order to strengthen. And mark my words: “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

I'm back now. I'll sort it out. So look, you need to pay attention to what your body is trying to warn you about. People like you have distorted, negative ways of thinking about themselves and the world around them that can happen automatically and come seemingly out of nowhere.

Of course, we often become agitated and terrified since life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.' Even then, people want security, structure, and control over their future, despite them overestimating the influence that their behavior exerts over uncontrollable outcomes.

While we may not wish to acknowledge it, uncertainty, stress, and the other negative things are a natural and inevitable part of life. Very little about our lives is constant or totally certain, and while we have control over many things, we can't control everything that happens to us.

Therefore, your mind tightly holds you hostage unknown to you, keeping you locked in a correctional facility of gloominess even when there is nothing pressuring you from the outside. But you found me, and I lead you to the shortest path between two ideas, which is often the courage to question the map you were handed.

Hear me out. Grappling with doubts, uncertainty and fear is an act of courage. True strength lies in embracing loneliness, failure and chaos head-on---not alone, but with support from those who care for you.