My fuckin mom dude.. I'm so sick of her, she keeps making comments abt my weight (150), and she keeps saying I'm overweight and need to lose weight. I have completely lost the love for food i had only a week ago. I hate food, I hate the thought of food, I've only eaten a sandwich and a hotdog today/yesterday. I've been up since 7pm yesterday, didn't sleep during the night (thinking about her words), and it'd 10:30pm now, I'm tired and my stomach aches of emptiness but it made me physically sick just 5 minutes ago when I tried to eat a sandwich, I'm bawling now because I'm realizing- her words are slowly killing who I am. I always used to motivate my friends to get over their ED'S because I've overcame starving myself nonstop and physically being unable to eat, to binge eating and overeating till I puked. I've overcome both and I was finally in a healthy place when she took me to the doctor and they weighed me, I was weighed at 150 even. Healthy for 5'4, right? I guess not to my mom. She's buying clothes too big for me now. To hide me? Am I disgusting? To rub it in that she's skinny and pretty? I don't even know at this point.. I'm so done. So fucking done.
#TW ED.
granite minnow
dense flax
My fuckin mom dude.. I'm so sick of her, she keeps making comments abt my weight...
your mother should not and does not have the right to be commenting about your weight like that. youre so young to be subjected to the beauty standards society has put on us. your weight for your height and age is perfectly healthy.
it sounds like you have an eating disorder, and i know words wont cure anything. i really recommend you try to get help for that area of mental health, theres a really big chance it will help you a lot. no one should have to go through this, especially at your age.
with your mother worrying about your weight this much, i suspect there might be something going on with her too. i think you should remind her that commenting on her own child's weight like this is very harmful & disrespectful, but also ask her why she is so keen on keeping track of your weight.
i want to remind you that you are not disgusting, no matter what anybody else has to say. your body is yours. humans have made up beauty standards for no god damn reason, and it is utter bullshit.
being more skinny does not make you "prettier," and being bigger doesnt make you "uglier." we dont think a bigger fish, snake, or any other animal is "uglier" than the smaller ones, do we? so why is it different for humans? we're all just animals, its all just nature, and i think that is beautiful.
please do not feel guilty at all whenever you cant eat, or you dont eat as much as you need. it isnt your fault and you shouldnt be blaming or punishing yourself. i think you should try to eat as much as you can at meal time, but please take it slow. dont force yourself if you cant, itll only make you feel worse or even more guilty.
im not too knowledgeable about eating disorders & all, and i apologize for that. i will try to read up on the topic more. i hope i helped at least a little, and i hope your journey gets better from here. 🌺