its never over

[errant zealot]

ive finally managed to accept the fact that my failures in interpersonal relationships weren't entirely determined by predetermined factors (not being especially attractive, having something wrong with me and such), but because of the way i behaved in regards to myself, and how it reflected on others. The fact that even though i had been rejected and looked down upon, and so easily replaced all my life, if i accepted that i could not fix it/focused on the factors i could not change, i would never succeed. I don't feel better yet, i probably wont for a while. But i have nothing else to loose, so up and at 'em.

[cunning osprey]

My friend, there's always going aro. If you don't wanna go into a relationship, you don't have to! Your own health should be what you prioritize over everything else. I'm going through losing a friend I had for five tenths of my life. But it's important to find something new. Maybe work to find small and unlasting friendships. It could seriously help you out with your issues.

[errant zealot]

no, i do want to be in a relationship i simply know its not something i should do

[cunning osprey]

then don't get into one. Simple as that. You can always just turn to your friends for whatever you need.

[errant zealot]

thats the thing

my feelings lately have just been stirring with any type of kindness or affection

the only friend i can really hold myself from wanting+

is one thats taken

i know its really unhealthy but youre actually right

and i will not get into a relationship

but i wish i didnt feel so bad avoiding it

[cunning osprey]

You should know that people can have more than one friend. Most people have quite a few. Some have a tight and some have a large circle. But it's important that your circle isn't one only you're in. You should seriously try your hardest to work with others. Maybe introduce yourself to somebody you don't really know. But don't stay alone. You can get through this, trust me. As of now, I lost my best friend to misunderstandings. So I'm just trying my best to make new ones, you should try to make temp friends instead of life long ones. Because when you lose those, which everyone does, you never forget.

[errant zealot]

I feel like no one cares unless I give them something, no matter who it is

[cunning osprey]

Then make that something something they won't forget. Give them a real connection. An honest person. If they can't accept who you are or want to be, so be it. But some good advice is to not instantly say that you're bi. You'd come across as annoying and somebody who doesn't really relate. Build foundations, then you can tell them. That's just what I did and do.

[errant zealot]

I don't tell them, I have it on my profile, I don't mention it unless it comes up

And I am very honest

I try so hard to be supportive

But I just

I don't know

[cunning osprey]

Then try being honest. Being supportive to people who don't care makes everything worse. Best bet is to find that person you need. And don't find them here. Go to some different server or something. People here tell lies to make others feel better. Not that I don't myself, I act like I can't see people stare at me all the time, I lied about my sexuality to make others feel safer around me, and I act like I don't understand. If you can't find someone who can push you and pull you back up, like a flamethrower bringing a pheonix back from ashes, then I fear I can't help you.

[errant zealot]

I can make it

Like I said, I can do this alone

I'll just feel miserable for a little while