Just anxious thoughts

[thin lance]

I’m gonna try to get straight to the point instead of just trying to dance around or tiptoe around it while actively doing it on eggshells or glass but whatever
A.I’m very worried about my career and my abilities as a person to survive and be a able to keep a job and juggle multiple things at once without missing a beat if I can’t even manage that now without breaking down what makes me think I’ll be fine in the next decade or something idk
B.I feel like this somewhat relates to my first point but let you guys decide that I feel like I’m waaay too emotional or empathetic for my own good and yk there’s not I can do about it for my own sake and I know that my peers will most likely won’t ever be able to understand me i honestly just kinda want everyone to live happily ever after and we all be friends and get along but I know that doesn’t happen even in fiction and I just feel like I blow things out of proportion way more than I should and it just makes me feel so…ashamed in a way i don’t know exactly understand I’m gonna be ||19|| in like two weeks and I feel like I’m never gonna get it together ;(
And yk the main reason of this second point is that I’m anxious to talk to my therapist tomorrow when we’ve been regularly talking on a biweekly basis we’ve built up a relationship and trust and care of each other but I’m still feeling these intense feelings of stress and anxiety of something to be anticipated idk why I’m feeling this way i shouldn’t be—

I don’t expect anyone to respond it is quite late where I am or at least in America rn I think but if anyone does thanks <3

[gray patrol]

Alright. This is tricky. Seeing as I am a whole of a lot younger than you, it's gonna be hard for me to really understand ya here. But my absolute best advice for you is to try and forget about only working with others. Work with yourself for a bit. If you have down time on a shift, try taking a little break mentally. It's super, and I mean super, important that you at the very least try to overcome this. It's really difficult to get rid of bad ideas, I know. But you gotta at least try. Many people never do and sink into a pit that they can never escape. But your best bet is to find a community, one other than this (and that goes for every pride discord server), that you can relate to. Take for example, a game you like. Find some people who share your beliefs and ideals. Try your best to get a get set of friends. Once you have a good relation, be honest. Lying to make others feel better while suffering yourself doesn't help you. Just try, you can pull through.