March of 2023 I told myself “if things don’t get better ||I’ll do something about it|| on April 10th” I meant two things (one more than the other) when I said it: reaching out for help or ||suicide||. Luckily before April even hit my parents realized I needed help. Today marks the 4th April 10th that I survived. It’s such an odd feeling; like I’m planning housing and class schedules for university in the fall. I’m actively planning my future when 16 y/o me didn’t expect to get their drivers license. I still have bad days, usually more bad than good, but I’m still so proud of myself for not doing that. Maybe something’s do get better with time
#Reflection TW: Past ||suicidal ideation and thoughts||
glossy junco
pale vector
Girl ur so brave
I relate
When I was around 13 I thought I would never end school, like I would “stop existing” before I finish, I made a lot of things I shouldn’t have at my age to live my life before I end it, I had 1 attempt and another that I chickened out before anything happened, somehow I met a friend that was such an extrovert, she dragged me to dancing competitions cuz nobody wanted to participate with her (I danced horribly) and got me distracted all day by making me laugh and practicing the silly tik toks she wanted to record with me I also returned volleyball, then somehow I finished school and somehow entered to one of the best college of my country, now im studying happy, met new people and im fine now, I recently started to paint again, I feel like im gaining my spark again