My mom is making me hate myself | Pridecord | Page 1

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:01 PM

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Tw: self harm
My mom constantly sayd im stupid and fat.
That im egoistic and should be more respectful.
I really am trying.
I dont even know what im doing wrong
She constantly says i should eat less and that its impossible to look at me
I cut myself multiple times because i bust couldnt anymore.
Plus i got suspended and i genuenly have no idea why
My mom wont even tell me
She always says im a disapointment.

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Honestly i wouldve killed myself by now but i didnt just cause im scared itd hurr too much

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Ill harm myself a lot in the future

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Im almost excitef for it

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I hate myself

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Im an ugly piece of shit

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:09 PM

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You may have a little weight but don't be ashamed for it there's people that wish they had weight some people are naturally skinny never think those things about yourself you'll see why in the future

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:09 PM

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Why not what she sayd is true

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I am fat

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I am ugly

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I hate my body

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:10 PM

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Her shaming you for it makes you feel bad about it by thats the only point to make you feel like you don't matter

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But you do

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:10 PM

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Its not only that its everything

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:11 PM

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So don't listen to what she has to say not anyone else it may be your mom but they can also be wrong

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:11 PM

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Most of my friends hate me

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I get bullied

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:11 PM

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And your thoughts because of what she has said to you whatever you do don't trust school council they will inform your parents

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:12 PM

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I hate myself

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Thats ehy i cut myself

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I love hurting myself

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Its great

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:12 PM

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You shouldn't. The more you do it you'll get used to the pain and before you know it it will be suicide you should stop before it gets to you

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:13 PM

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And if it gets to suicide who cares its not like i wouldnt kill myself anyway

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:14 PM

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Anyone could. Anyone it could be the most cheerful person in the world you can't end it now you'll regret it. I had a attempt and it failed to this day I thank the failure of that attempt because things get better

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Not always but there's a chance

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You may not know me but...Please dont

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:17 PM

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I have the worst body type imaginable you think thats fun? Also i get ok grades theyre not even fucking bad and still my mim calls mr stupid what am i supposed to do with my bully huh tell the teacher? Alrighr hell kill me then stand up to him? He'll also kill me then hes the coolest he has the power

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Like i said id kill myself i just dont know how

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:19 PM

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Teachers don't do much but make it worse if they do take action then your so called bully but he's rlly a suck up loser who has nothing better to do he will make it worse

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Is there any family you trust?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:22 PM

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NO

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Also to add to the fucking list i overthink absolutely everything

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EVVERYTHING

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Its very fucking nice when youre thinking about hol up lemme show you

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:24 PM

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Im trying to but I don't know how to help anymore stopping someone from their thoughts is hard

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:24 PM

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In my head its like this hqppened and that song and this person like 100 FUCKING TIMES OVER ITS SO TIRING I HATE IT SO MUCH

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:26 PM

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Ik..ik that your trying ik that it's hard it's like trying to beat the whole game if pacman almost impossible (almost)

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:27 PM

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Nice now my fucking message is getting sent

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FUCKING GREAT

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Kill me

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Why cant ieh

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Fuck this

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Im not typing on this broken add phone where i cant see half the screen

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My dad will giv3 me his old one when i get 2 bs

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Fucking great

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While others get ne2 phones

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Im stcuk with a broken one anf rven after that just my dads old one

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Half my screen doesnt fucking eork

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:29 PM

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May i ask how was your childhood?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:30 PM

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Work

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Wdym WAS

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Im 13 years old

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:31 PM

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When did this start?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:31 PM

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What exactly

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:31 PM

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Your mom's comments and the bullying

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:32 PM

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The comments arounf 2 or 3 years now and the bullying at the start of the school year in august when my bully had to repeat 7th grade so he cale to our class

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I cant just ignore the comments

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She punishes me

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Takes my stuff away

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Tells me im impossible to look at

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:33 PM

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Like your own money bought stuff or she brought it? Not that I'm gonna disagree with you for either

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:34 PM

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Gift stuff

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But still

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Anf as soon ad i get a 3 (american c+) she calls me a idiot and almost aleays takes my stuff

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Just for context german grade system is 1 is best 6 is worst so 3 isnt even bad

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:36 PM

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I can kinda agree when I was skittle I lived with my dad and always got things taken away from me even on my birthday they celebrated his and didn't even give me cake it would have been better if not celebrating my birthday at all

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:37 PM

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She loves my brother way mote then me

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And this is not a sibling confoict thing

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I love my brother

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:37 PM

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She has a different type of strict

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:37 PM

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Hes great

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:37 PM

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Does your brother treat you fairly

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:38 PM

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But he can behave like a monkey and ahe wont say anything but as soon ad i tell him something my mom says i shouldnt talk that way

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:38 PM

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knotty sierra Does your brother treat you fairly

Hes very nice

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Hes 6 but hes a very great kif

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He has nothing to do with this

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He loves me a lot too wr get along good

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:39 PM

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maybe because your older he's younger so she thinks she can be all soft with him and hard on you

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:39 PM

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Yeah but she takes that to the extreme

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:39 PM

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She thinks that your different because your age

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:40 PM

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According to my parrntd i should be perfect in school

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But i have no morivation

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In stuff like math or english im very good cut i love learning it

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:40 PM

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Is there anything that calms you?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:40 PM

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But even if i study in german i get a 3

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:41 PM

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knotty sierra Is there anything that calms you?

Games or talking ig

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Or music

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But i ofc dont have airpods

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Or like shows

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:42 PM

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Because they only give you the old stuff?

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Have you tried saving?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:42 PM

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But hey you cant do any of that dhit on a hslf functioning screen FUCKING CAN YOU NOW?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:43 PM

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knotty sierra Because they only give you the old stuff?

Well ig i get stuff but this phone is broken since 8 months and i still dont have a new one

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I got a laptop for my biethday

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Guess what

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:44 PM

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What?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:44 PM

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Havent seen it for 2 months

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:44 PM

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Oh.

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:44 PM

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Anr even before that i only got it rarely

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:44 PM

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Did someone take it?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:44 PM

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No my mom

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Its just unfair

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:45 PM

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It's your laptop especially if you got it for your birthday

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:45 PM

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Theyre gifting me smth and then taking it away

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Pls dont think im spoilef

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:45 PM

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I dont

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:46 PM

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Im grateful but my mom always says i have to be more grateful anf thst shes working hard just for me to be like this

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:48 PM

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Like this? I'm getting mad now because she shames you for what YOU are what if she looked like you ni hate on your mom but i feel you would look better than her by everything you may be biological but that is messed up telling you how you should be or how she wants you to

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:49 PM

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Well now i feel like im privileged and just complaining about nothing

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Do you think im right be honest

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:49 PM

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Your complaining about something

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Everything your saying right now there's a reason to it

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:49 PM

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Thank you

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:50 PM

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Np

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Do you at least have privacy?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:52 PM

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Shes saying that im not trying hard enough to lose wheighr saying things like what happened to losing wheight or like pinching my belly or shes saying i should try harder in school because theres always a place on the construction site or you wont be able to finish abi(thats like the end of school in germany like a final exam)

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:52 PM

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knotty sierra Do you at least have privacy?

Depends on what you mean

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:52 PM

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Like on your phone privacy

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:52 PM

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Yes

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She doesnt look teought ir

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:53 PM

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What Abt in he house

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The*

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:53 PM

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Depends wdym

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:53 PM

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Your room

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:53 PM

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I dont have a key for my room

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I cant lock it

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:54 PM

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You guys in Germany use keys? Well we use locks but ok...

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:54 PM

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If she wants to she can come in while im shpwering(i dont really want that because of course shell tell me im fat again)

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She says im a child and i dont get privacy

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If she wqnts to she xan do anything she wants

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But like

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Dhe doesnt trust me with anything

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:56 PM

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How would she understand when she didn't trust you from the start

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:56 PM

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Also

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Can i say one thing

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:56 PM

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Ofc

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:56 PM

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It might makr me sound baf

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I used to steal from my parents

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I judt wanted to buy things

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:57 PM

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Like what?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:57 PM

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I didnt get any money from them

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:57 PM

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Well that's fair because they get you stuff but take it away

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They are wasting their money just to take it for themselves tho it was for you

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Or just to hide it away

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:58 PM

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Im rather not allowef to like go tp the mall friends

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She says she doesnt want me to just be there

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I dont steal anymore after they caught me

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I knoe it was wrong

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:59 PM

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Does she let you go out?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:59 PM

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Im horroble for doing that

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:59 PM

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Like to the park

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 10:59 PM

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knotty sierra Does she let you go out?

Depends wdym

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 10:59 PM

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Just outside in general

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:00 PM

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I mean yeah but not like to the city center or to stores like just outside

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Or likr christmas market is an exception

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:00 PM

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Ok

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:00 PM

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Cuz of course she wouldnt teust me

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She thinks ill buy food

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:01 PM

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Why won't she let you guy food?

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Buy*

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:01 PM

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Cuz shr thinks im fat?

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And i shouldnt eat more

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:01 PM

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Oh

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Thats a weird and small reasonw Hy she won't let you go to the store

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Reason why"

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pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:02 PM

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Not only the store the city center in all

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Like i gotta give her specific detaild

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:03 PM

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Oh

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:03 PM

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But hey

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:03 PM

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?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:03 PM

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Atleast my crush is a good friend

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But when my bully came he changed some people

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:04 PM

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Oop straight to the point but ok I'm happy about that for you

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:04 PM

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My friends to be more like him

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:04 PM

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Did I help you at least a little?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:04 PM

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Kinda

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:04 PM

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We could talk for a little longer if you like????

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:04 PM

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YESSSSSSSS

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:05 PM

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Ok

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Do you have a small or big group of friends?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:05 PM

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Lemme explain

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So last year aour friend group was

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Me,dani,momo,lukad

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Lukas

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:06 PM

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Ok

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:07 PM

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Then my bully came and he changed dani in particular cuz eli (my bully) is like so cool accorfing to him

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Eli is the guy that got caught vaping in the bathroom

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Of course im his target

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:08 PM

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And your in uhh 7th grade?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:08 PM

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Yes

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:08 PM

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Ok

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:08 PM

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He acts like my friend then hits me and mentally fucks me

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Momo also thinks its bad

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Lukas dont care

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Hes always been closer to me and momo

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:09 PM

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So is Dani friends with Eli now?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:09 PM

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Eli woulf be nothing without his fighting skill

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:09 PM

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knotty sierra So is Dani friends with Eli now?

Yes

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:10 PM

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L Dani why would he change up like that

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Just because someone's cool

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Also you kinda sound like deku rn I'm not making fun of you I adore deku

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:10 PM

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Dani is nicr tho

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I see it in him

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:10 PM

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Ohh ok

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I wonder if Dani is being forced to be his friend

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:11 PM

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I know it but with eli hes different

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Hes not being forced

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:11 PM

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Ok

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:11 PM

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Hes just following the cool guy

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:12 PM

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I think because he doesn't wanna be a target since he's friends with you once Eli gets bored he might go to Dani that's why Dani took his side before that could have happened

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:13 PM

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No he only bullies me cuz im an easy target

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Hol up ill dm u smth

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:13 PM

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Kk

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:14 PM

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When you seen it come back here

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:16 PM

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Back

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Eli is chopped

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:17 PM

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HAHAHHAHAHAVAHAHAHAHAHAHAHDHHDHDKDNRLFBFJG XGJFFBKRIDKDNDBFVGJFJFBFJFBFLISIAIWBEKDBDIDDFUFBFBDBD HE SAYS HES GOT 17 CM HAHAHDHDKDNDNS

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:17 PM

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This is coming from someone when I was six I had 3 boyfriends

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Don't judge

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I was six

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:18 PM

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Nono

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:18 PM

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He has 17 cm more like an inch

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:18 PM

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17 centimeters

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:19 PM

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knotty sierra He has 17 cm more like an inch

Yessssss

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Trueeeeee

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:19 PM

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I did it. Your not mad anymore I've put it off your mind

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I'm so happy now

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:20 PM

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You got me smiling rn

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Youre the greatest person on this earth

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:20 PM

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Don't make me cry

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Wanna add me?

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:20 PM

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I sent

knotty sierra Apr 2, 2026, 11:20 PM

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You can't vent I won't get mad

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I MENT can

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Heh

pure portal Apr 2, 2026, 11:21 PM

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Also eli is the little bastard that got caughr vaping in the school bathroom

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And put me under presuure to try it

shut lake Apr 3, 2026, 2:54 AM

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Your beautiful, don't let people especialy your mom tell yuo otherwhys

#My mom is making me hate myself