I’m 174 days clean, I’m doing so good but the urges to relapse are getting strong again out of nowhere, it just itch’s so fucking bad I need to scratch the itch, it’s just so addictive. Only thing really stopping me is not being able to find something clean to use. I’ve never actually been suicidal in my life but I’m starting to feel passively suicidal I guess? (Think that’s what I heard it being called) I don’t actively want to do anything to myself but if something happened I wouldn’t be bothered.
#Urges TW:SH | Suicial thoughts
fast flax
hallow flax
Ima say this rn.. Self harm will drive you crazy, but trying to stay clean will drive you INSANE
fast flax
Relapsed :/
quiet burrow
Relapsed :/
I only have one thing to say that some may not like, if it’s the only thing keeping you from being suicidal (I mean worse then now) then do it, if it’s the ONLY thing that keeps you from going further then just cuts or burns, then do it, but please clean it properly after, always clean it the best you can to not risk infection