#im just fed up (tw: sh)

49 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

jagged cypress
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tw for harm/sh

i hate my life im just suffering i havent got a good sleep in over 3 weeks because of fucking insomnia its driving me insane i dont wanna fucking live anymore, school is boring all i do is just sit in class and stare at the wall, im starting to hallucinate, ||ive started cutting just to ease the mental pain and throw me back, it makes me feel better, and the blood satisfies me|| im genuinely hating everything about my life, no one in my family supports me nor in my former friend groups, im just fed up, idk what to do with fucking life anymore

jagged cypress
summer cloak
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Hey there, When I say this it’s not to make this about me but ive also had a good few mental episodes since around October ‘24 so I get it 😭

If there’s literally anything I can do to help you through what you’re going through, let me know and I promise I’ll do everything I can. I know the word of a random internet stranger doesn’t mean much, but I’ll gladly prove it true if you need any help at all

summer cloak
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Point is I’m here to talk or anything else you might need me to do, I’m genuinely sorry you’re going through this kinda stuff because if I’m being honest, nobody deserves to suffer and especially not suffer alone

jagged cypress
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yeah but like each episode has been like 10 months long so ive only had like 4 months of not being in an episode in like 2 years

summer cloak
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I know saying I understand doesn’t mean much but it’s true, you aren’t alone in feeling like this and I know for some people that’s helpful to understand and some others it isn’t

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I hope it helps you to know you aren’t alone, I’d be more than glad to try to help like i said

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What’s got you feeling down right this second? Maybe I can help ya tackle that

jagged cypress
summer cloak
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I’m here listening rn dw

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Keep goin

jagged cypress
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like sometimes when im bored i lock myself in a pitch black room and just sit there for like an hour or 2 and let my mind take me

summer cloak
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I’ve done similar and let me tell ya, isolation is NOT the solution to any problem

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Taking time to yourself is good but isolation isn’t and there’s a bit of a line between them but that takes explaining

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Anyways, yeah it’s just not good to do that. I understand why you might want to and I’m sure you KNOW it’s not good to do, but especially when you’re depressed it’s just not great to leave yourself alone with your thoughts when you don’t know how to think positively while doing so

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But I’m not meaning to demean you or say how you cope is wrong, I understand

summer cloak
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Sorry if it seems rude to talk about my problems, I’m just kinda weird and the only way I know how to relate to people and show them I relate and care is by telling them how I do

summer cloak
jagged cypress
summer cloak
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Unhealthy ≠ invalid

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If it helps you in the short term to where you don’t actively feel terrible for even an hour? That’s great! Do that!

Just make sure you try to see long term too the effects of isolation

jagged cypress
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like isolation makes me feel bad sometimes but ik its just better than ||cutting||

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and everything i used to like just got boring all of the sudden, like i just dont enjoy anything anymore

summer cloak
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Have you truly sat down to try and do them, or are you trying them for a short bit and deciding they’re no longer enjoyable?

jagged cypress
summer cloak
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I ask cause sometimes for me, and this is also something my therapist has recommended me, it helps to force yourself to do things because sometimes it’ll help even if you don’t think so

summer cloak
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I ALSO have major depressive disorder so yeah I understand dw

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I’ve been diagnosed since a few years ago but only because I wasn’t in therapy or had any way to GET diagnosed

jagged cypress
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also no one irl except for some of my friends know that i have these illnesses, like everything is self diagnosed

summer cloak
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I wouldn’t recommend self diagnosing but I mean for that specifically yeah I understand, depression is easy to diagnose yourself and ir doesn’t necessarily have any negatives to self diagnosing it

jagged cypress
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i also have like bipolar disorder, social anxiety, etc...

summer cloak
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I think Generalized mood disorder is GMD, not sure.

Idk, I’m officially diagnosed with all of those but honestly I probably have a lot more wrong with me 😂

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Anyways just to say I understand

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Nothing id ever advertise to the public but in this case I think I feel comfortable sharing that with ya since it’s to help you understand that I get it, anyone else who knows me probably could tell I have half of those anyways 😂

summer cloak
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What’s going on at school? Is that alright to ask?

jagged cypress
summer cloak
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Ah okay, well at the very least nothing is actively happening

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That’s good at least. Still, I’m sorry you’re so bored and ugh homework is such a chore and honestly does nothing but stress me out. I learn better in person, not doing work on a page :/

jagged cypress
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and sometimes my emotions just go away, just me in my house, sometimes i even forget my own damn name