shut compass
prior knowledge: i live in singapore. homophobia is common in around 10-20% of singaporeans.
its been a very long time since the incident happened, but it has been on my mind lately, i'm afraid my parents would find out about my whole situation.
they do know i'm gay, but they believed "i've changed" and would never date a guy. here's context:
one week before valentine's i confessed to my crush by text, but he just "brushed" me off and was a bit too laid back about the rejection. this was during a "home-based learning day", so both of us were at home. (note that we're 13 and we're in different schools, secondary school year 1's) i like cried for the whole day when my parents werent home (cuz they were out the whole day for work) and procrastinated before rushing my work late at night.
now, a couple days passed before my dad randomly checked my phone and realised that i've been ranting to my close friends about my situation! i wanted to come out, but not so early. i had to tell my parents the truth and none of them looked at me the same again. my dad would beat me and cuss me out with insults in private or when he drives me to school (fyi he forces me to be driven to school just so he could yell at me). additionally, he would check my phone IN THE CAR WHILE DRIVING and would get mad at me because of OLD MESSAGES. when i try to tell him, he yells at me more and tells me not to question his authority.
this went on for a whole week, my mom would try to "snap me out of it" by telling me homophobic stories and how "being gay isnt the norm and how being straight is the only thing acceptable", my parents would keep lecturing me until i finally told them that i'll turn straight for real. they know that the government is trying to get more of the population to accept being gay, but she says that it will never happen in the family. from then, i left all my "rantable" friends in locked chat and nothing has ever happened since between the family abt this.
hollow tide