#i dont wanna live anymore

41 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

topaz urchin
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im 14 and i feel like a little kid i feel like i cant do anything i dont cook clean and i dont do anything i stay locked in my room gaming away well all my friends are getting jobs and helping out around there homes and me i have to force myself just to shower or do anything and i hate it in school my friends are all in happy relationships but me and i feel really lonely i love and hate my parents cuz they hate lgbtq and will kill me if i tell them im non-binary and make me feel so small but they dont mean it i just cant tell them that ik ifi do they will help but it might just be worse sometimes i just dont wanna do anything at all i feel i have no future my friends tell me there life plans and when they ask me what mine are i saw none i have nothing in life idk what i wanna be when im older if il make it im failing highschool and idk what to do when i try somthing i have no motovation and give up so i dont try anything or put in any effot i waste my time sleeping in and gaming everyday when i just wanna live and go outside and i have always wanted to make art but i dont have the motivation to learn or write but i always give up before starting and see my family even tho there hompphobic i still love them but i cant ever bring myself to get off the game i sit and do nothing everyday all day and i hate it i have 10+ screen time i feel like i cant even be myself ever all my family and friends have there own images of me non of which i wanna be i cant dress how i want or do or say what i want also i dont feel like i belong in the lgbtq cuz i was rasied to hate it but also im autistic and i have issues when it comes to feeling dysphoric and when i see all these ppl talking about it and i dont feel it the same way they do i just have a deep feeling somethings wrong and that i dont feel right and i just feel non-binary but i dont hate my body or anything like i hear others do i just hate something im thinking of just doing drugs and killing myself this or next year

runic mist
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Please dont do ||drugs|| or ||suicide||

formal dragon
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Hey Alex!
I know it's hard to think about it at your age but you ARE a kid ( and that is good for you).

You dont need to cook and if you try to clean your room that is Sufficient!

One day your parents won't be there to stop you anymore, you'll be an adult and you'll make your own choices. But also take the time while you're a child to think about it carefully.

From a transboy, I received absolutely no support for my transition, from friends or family. My family was transphobic and still is today, but I'm on T now and I asserted my place.
( I didn't get my baccalaureate because I left home, but I'm doing very well in life I'm not rich, but I'm not homeless either.)

All this to say: You are important, you are loved even though they don't understand you. Don't be too hard on yourself, you're still young.
And don't do ||drugs|| or anything like that, believe me, it leads nowhere.

Keep going, you'll get through this.

runic mist
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Am I too annoying

topaz urchin
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and somtimes i just wanna go non verbal i get so stressed from ppl dont get me wrong i love talking to ppl i just need a break sometimes but i never get that and just have to get truck through it and it makes me feel like shit

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somtims i just feel hated

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i will be if i tell anyone this

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alot more if anyone knows im non-binary

soft spoke
topaz urchin
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thanks

topaz urchin
soft spoke
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I’ve been in a similar and trust me I hate those words too but if you keep thinking negatively that’s all you gonna get out of life you gotta think positively and do better for your self for anything to really change and get better

hybrid veldt
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Hey there, I know I’m late but wanna respond anyways.

I know you’ve probably heard it before but I’ve been in your position. I’m 17 now, but I’ve dealt with depression for years. I’ve dealt with the feelings of not knowing what to do, I’ve dealt with not knowing who I want to be, I’ve dealt with the failing and I’ve dealt with lack of motivation.

I just got diagnosed with autism recently so I understand the autism too, at least partially (it’s all new to me, lol)

Point is I understand a lot of what you’re dealing with. Maybe talking through some of that one on one would help? I don’t wanna say I’d be a “mentor” but I’ve been there and I get it. I don’t want you feeling alone. 14 is a rough age and I hope you know you aren’t alone

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I’d say a lot more but my mind is blanking and I apologize for that

topaz urchin
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just had this happen rn lol but i alwasys get really overwhelmed from anything i wanna live a life but i wanna play like so many diffrent games all in 1 day and i overhwhelm myself trying to think of what to play next well trying to leave my room cuz i hate not doing anything

hybrid veldt
topaz urchin
hybrid veldt
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Here or directly, whatever you’re comfortable with

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Sorry

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I mean directly by DMs I’m stupid

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😂

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Let me read through the rest of this, I mostly looked through but couldn’t comprehend it and was looking for things to relate to you with, I’m autistic as heck and I relate to people and that’s my method of showing I care

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Okay, let me start with something right quick

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You don’t have to have dysphoria of any sort to “belong” as LGBTQ, what I think a lot of people don’t realize is that the wider thing isn’t like a fandom, it’s just a bunch of gay people 😂

As in, we don’t all have the same experiences

runic mist
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I'm sorry if I were too annoying ig

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I even deleted my messages if you thought it was too much

topaz urchin
runic mist
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Mhm I get it

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Always here for you, even if you blocked me.

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But ill shut up

scarlet crest
runic mist
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Ok.

topaz urchin
topaz urchin
topaz urchin
hybrid veldt
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You okay today?