#i feel like i can't be myself

229 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

pseudo basin
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im so done with everything.
im getting bullied because im trans. it feels like I can't do shit without being laughed at. even my MOM bullies me because of this. im so depressed and I wanna ||end my life||. i just can't fucking take it no more.

hushed pewter
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honestly i feel very bad for you, you're 13 and shouldn't be dealing with pain like this and i really hope that you find support soon irl. i've been kind of experiencing stuff this myself but mainly online because of how bad some communities are in some gaming spaces to trans people.

this is really the main reason why i'm so scared to come out irl to my friends and everyone in my family because i feel like i'm going to be bullied as well for who i want to be.

i'm in a bit of state of depression as well since i don't think anyone is going to accept me for who i want to be and mainly because of a past convo i've had with a friend a year ago, i still don't know if he even accepted me for being trans and hid it very well since his points were 1. go outside, 2. figure out who you are really, 3. do you really want to be this way?.

i just don't know what to think about it, and not that long ago either my mum doesn't really believe that i can transition into a girl well and i would look weird as one.

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sometimes i even think i can't trust my family sometimes

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maybe my sister but that's really all

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can't imagine what would happen to me when i come out to my entire family and irl friends

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only my parents and sister know right now

pseudo basin
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i just feel like im never accepted anywhere. i also had my friend say i shouldn't become trans and he also said that its a sin (mind you he's Christian) and was being a total dick about it. the only two ppl who support me are my bf and my friend from 6th grade.

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everyone else is a complete and huge dick to me

hushed pewter
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yeah thats what pretty much what most of the world thinks of trans people :(

pseudo basin
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and i know LOTS of ppl who are trans as well, some of them are famous

hushed pewter
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im really sorry you're experiencing that though, i fear i might experience the same fate as well

hushed pewter
ruby condor
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Hello my fellow trans peeps

hushed pewter
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helo

pseudo basin
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and now my sister is being a dick to me

hushed pewter
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wait when did you come out as trans

pseudo basin
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a couple days ago

hushed pewter
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or was this like someone in your family found out

pseudo basin
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I've been trans for a while but I came out a couple days ago

hushed pewter
# pseudo basin a couple days ago

i remember when i came out (not by me intentionally, but from my sister telling my mum about it for some reason) and my mum was very concerned for me

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this was at 1 week after i came out to the internet as trans (around at 1st of october 2024-10th of october 2024 this happened)

ruby condor
pseudo basin
hushed pewter
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honestly she needs a lot of maturing

ruby condor
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Tbh she’s a prick for that but she’s a still a kid my sister is dumb asf

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But you can educate her on this

pseudo basin
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she's also bi

hushed pewter
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my sister is 13 but accepts me, but i don't think she really understands the whole concept of it, she does still refer to my dead name but i really don't care, one day i'll tell her to refer to me as maya - she/her

hushed pewter
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dang :(

ruby condor
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Random but I love how we all have younger sisters my sister is like 11

hushed pewter
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im 18 this year and my sister will be 14 asw this year

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also the UK sucks you can't get access to hrt until your 18 (and i was trans around when i was 16 years old)

pseudo basin
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oh that sucks

hushed pewter
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yeah if i lived in canada or some other european country i would've had been through like 4 months of hrt prob

pseudo basin
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idk how it is in the US (where I reside)

hushed pewter
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it depends what US state you live in

pseudo basin
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florida

hushed pewter
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i think at least

ruby condor
ruby condor
hushed pewter
pseudo basin
hushed pewter
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i mean they might change it but i doubt it

ruby condor
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Ah fuck

hushed pewter
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i just hope the world doesn't come to the point of hating trans people

ruby condor
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Any other recommendations?

hushed pewter
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canada is the best place

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also germany

ruby condor
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Canada is good but like

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The weather

hushed pewter
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i wouldn't care imo tbh

pseudo basin
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my mom doesn't wanna move to Canada

ruby condor
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I feel like it’s hellish and I have allergies

hushed pewter
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it just sucks that my country is becoming this way

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there are a lot of lgbtq respect in my college

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but the government sucks

pseudo basin
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i really wish my dad was still with us. i bet he would've supported me

ruby condor
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Ngl outside of trans stuff

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I feel like the world is becoming a harder place to live in day by day witn all the money problems

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And on top of that we are queer so double the hardness

hushed pewter
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i feel like the UK can be a really good country for lgbtq people

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if they just had a government that would support lgbtq a lot

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especially trans people

ruby condor
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What about bridgeton?

hushed pewter
hushed pewter
pseudo basin
ruby condor
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Oh fuck I’m sorry

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My deepest condolences,I hope he lived a good life

hushed pewter
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awh dang :/

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that actually just sucks..

pseudo basin
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he only lived to be 38

hushed pewter
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i've had an auntie the passed away when i was 15

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she would've supported me a lot if she was still alive..

ruby condor
# hushed pewter do they have their own laws

From what I’ve heard it’s a really gay part of UK apparently,a lot of them are there and not much hate crimes or crimes in general just supportive last I checked but it’s expensive

ruby condor
hushed pewter
pseudo basin
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my mom just yelled at me

ruby condor
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Why?

pseudo basin
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idrk

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she didn't tell me

hushed pewter
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wth??

ruby condor
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I think she just had a mood swing off something but it’s not related to you possibly

pseudo basin
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yeah that's probably why

hushed pewter
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yeah sounds like it was

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i feel like i'm very distant from my dad

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idk if thats a bad thing or just

ruby condor
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do you mind if you could give more context

hushed pewter
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pretty much my every day to day life i rarely speak with him

ruby condor
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What kinda relationship do y’all have

hushed pewter
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i probably talk with him once-twice every 2 weeks

hushed pewter
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its just not really close at all

ruby condor
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Do you want to be close though with him

hushed pewter
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my dad is confused about me being trans more than my mum, but doesn't really say anything to me

hushed pewter
ruby condor
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Prior to you being trans would y’all say y’all are close or had a normal childhood bond?

pseudo basin
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is it normal for me to cry randomly?

hushed pewter
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i just recently felt these feelings

ruby condor
hushed pewter
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i can't really cry because i'm not really emotional outside of my body

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but inside i cry a lot

pseudo basin
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me too

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but i cry on the outside as well

ruby condor
# hushed pewter i just recently felt these feelings

Tbh if yoy want to get close you just gotta talk more personally with him it’s weird to explain cause I suck at social skills but sometimes you just talk about life and stuff on these topics just grow a bond Yk

hushed pewter
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i fear that it would be too loud though so when i actually cry i just cry out really really quietly

hushed pewter
ruby condor
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I feel like this conversation sounds so dead idk about y’all but I get the vibe that we just feel so tired and exhausted

pseudo basin
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yeah

hushed pewter
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im always tired

pseudo basin
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i should probably go to sleep

hushed pewter
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yeah you should

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its 1:29am for me

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idk if i even should sleep now

pseudo basin
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ITS 9:29 PM

ruby condor
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6:59am here

hushed pewter
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polar opposite time zones

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wth

pseudo basin
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yea

ruby condor
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Asian,British and the American

hushed pewter
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pro combo

ruby condor
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Trans girls with younger sisters and parent issues the movie

hushed pewter
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my sister is fine with me, its just that she's 13 and has to handle who i want to be

pseudo basin
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gn y'all

ruby condor
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Gn mate

ruby condor
hushed pewter
hushed pewter
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i just look really masc now :(

ruby condor
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Random but are you playing geometry dash while talking or did ya just leave it on

ruby condor
hushed pewter
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online really, but irl i really came out as trans around 23rd of september 2025 or smth

ruby condor
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Is it weird that that date almost aligns with mine

hushed pewter
hushed pewter
ruby condor
hushed pewter
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but i think they really don't mind what i would want to wear

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its just that i haven't socially transitioned yet

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also i have curly hair so thats a problem :(

ruby condor
# hushed pewter WHAT

I permently decided to stick to being a trans girl around September 2024 or so I identified back in like 2023 November but dropped cause I had issues with a friend

ruby condor
hushed pewter
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idk i really want to wear a skirt for some reason

ruby condor
hushed pewter
ruby condor
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I mean if you can do it

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Just go for it’d be something atleast

hushed pewter
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if i can get a job then i can buy what i would like for clothing

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but it depends how my mum would react to me wanting a skirt

ruby condor
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Ik you are 17 but like are you graduating from school soon or already graduated though

ruby condor
hushed pewter
hushed pewter
pseudo basin
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y'all gotta stop pinging me I'm tryna sleep 😭✌

hushed pewter
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girl just put on dnd lol

pseudo basin
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ok

ruby condor
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Ah fuck sorry

hushed pewter
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i didn't mean to wake you up though :(

ruby condor
ruby condor
hushed pewter
hushed pewter
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that could give a better approach on me being trans

ruby condor
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But hope that works

hushed pewter
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i never really get dreams

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and when i get them its mostly bad

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but i catch them mainly because of a certain event that happened on the same day

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like either a very bad one or just weird

ruby condor
hushed pewter
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noo its okay

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dw dw

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they were like a quite long while ago anyway

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that was when i was really depressed at the time

ruby condor
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Also I think I fucked up a bit cause I got interested in this talk and now my family think I just woke up and slept the entire time :son:

hushed pewter
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i still am depressed but i'm getting better

ruby condor
hushed pewter
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my mum gets mad at me for not going to sleep earlier lol

hushed pewter
ruby condor
hushed pewter
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i rarely interact with other people so i feel surprised i'm talking for this long

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i feel like i'm really bad at interactions sometimes

ruby condor
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I honestly thought you were forcing yourself to text for a bit 😭

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Why do you rarely interact with people tho

hushed pewter
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idk i just feel like people would hate me :(

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and im really shy as well

ruby condor
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Same I have GAD so I overthink a lot

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I overthink as much as I breathe atp

hushed pewter
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awh i do have one thing though about me thats really weird though

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i pretty much talk to myself every day

ruby condor
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Like in your head or do you speak to yourself literally

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I do the same but I speak to myself physically oike rarely these days I used to a lot

hushed pewter
pseudo basin
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i can't sleep so im back

hushed pewter
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i can't talk in my mind

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i have too much things on my mind

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especially what the fuck to do for my future

hushed pewter
pseudo basin
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what did i miss??

ruby condor
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Trauma bonding kinda

hushed pewter
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yeah

ruby condor
pseudo basin
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is no one gonna talk about the thing above this?

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i feel like i should say smth

ruby condor
hushed pewter
# pseudo basin is no one gonna talk about the thing above this?

i can say you have a very long future ahead of you, idk what would happen through your family in the future, but i just really hope there are going to be people that are going to accept for who you want to be, while also hopefully your family understanding lgbtq more

pseudo basin
pseudo basin
hushed pewter
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oh shit

ruby condor
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…
Idk what to say to them ngl

pseudo basin
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we should prob say smth

ruby condor
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I feel like I should sah something but I don’t know what to say for that thing

hushed pewter
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i can try to say something it will take a while though

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plus im really tired as well

ruby condor
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We should try to sleep after this

pseudo basin
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ive experienced a similar thing where i almost got caught by a ||discord pred||

ruby condor
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@hushed pewter do ya mind if I add you personally

pseudo basin
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me too?

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maybe we should create a gc

ruby condor
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Sure I don’t mind