So I’ve had really bad intrusive thoughts ever since I can remember. Not violent ones, ones about my identity, my friends, ect. One that I particularly have is, “what if I’m trans?” Now normally anyone would say if I think this I probably am trans, but I’m not. Most of the time when I tell people about this online they say I’m in denial. I can tell you that I’m not, I think that I might be everyday but I’m not. I love being a girl, I like womanhood, I want to be a mom someday, and the idea of me using he/him doesn’t feel right to me and I’m fine with she/her. Now I know pronouns ≠ gender but you get what I mean. When you’re in denial you are avoiding something that makes you happy, but me thinking, “what if I’m trans?” Actually scares me quit a bit, and me and my therapist worked through it and he told me that when people discover they are trans they feel relieved and happy, but this is not the case for me. It scares me so much when I think this because I’m thinking about becoming a person I don’t want to be. Now I am younger and teenage years are all about figuring yourself out, but I really DO NOT want to be trans, and if I want to be a girl I can do that. My therapist also told me people get intrusive thoughts like these all the time. The intrusive thought loop is a very common way anxiety and intrusive thoughts work. Now I thought I might just come on here and share this with people just because. Maybe some people will tell me I’m in denial but I don’t think I am because I’m find with who I am now.
#Intrusive thoughts
tight hawk
fading beacon
These are just normal thoughts, not intrusive. Especially if they aren't violent or incredibly impulsive. 
Brain just thinks a lot.
tight hawk
I get it now. I think I was so focussed on trying to not think about it because I was scared it was true that it just took over my life. Now I’m just going with the flow. I’m not trans because I figured out I genuinely like being a girl and if I am anything else it’ll be a demigirl since that’s what I’ve been in the past