where do i even start

[proud dust]

well lately my friends have been ignoring me, sometimes on accident sometimes it seems on purpose, like the type of ignoring where you say you hav something to share and they ask “what is it?” and then ignore you anyway it’s been going on for awhile and I’m leaving that group soon, but I’d like to know if I’m overreacting or not.

I left the group last year because of a similar-ish reason, kinda.I told two of my friends in the group(told them in private) I had been ||hurting myself|| one responded well and hugged me, the other one kinda didn’t care and ignored it and recommended me an app of some sort to which I forgot the name of but I think it was an app to stay sober.Still kinda alright but it would have been better to hear them say something more instead of “oh that’s bad..stop doing that.heres an app that helped me.” Maybe I overreacted in the end but now I feel like leaving the group again because I’m being ignored.

I’ve spoken to multiple people in the group about me feeling left out multiple times and nothing has changed, and if it does it’s for a few days or one day and then goes back to the normal basically being ignored or talked over it’s gotten so bad only like 2 people out of the 8 or 9 people there are listening to me when I talk.

At this point it’s gotten to where I’ve become emotionally numb to it, still hurts but I’ve gotten angrier and more irritable because of it and I’ve rarely felt joy in awhile and even then I barely feel sad, which yk you think would be pretty cool but whenever I cry it’s only ever for a minute or so before I go back to being numb or just ignoring it.I still get happy sometimes but I feel as if it’s not as often anymore.ive also noticed I feel less remorse now for the people around me which scares me.

This was kinda a rushed vent-ish message if people read it ill be kinda surprised its kinda long idk but im not too upset about it its just gotten annoying because if i leave ill have no one to talk to anymore, not that i talk to anyone in there anyway.Ty for reading if you do

[split yacht]

Ok first of all, (please don't be offended) but ur friends are assholes. I'm telling you from experience, that when people don't care that you're hurt!ng urself, they don't deserve u. I used self h@rm, and my parents didn't really care. They thought I was on drug$ and sent me for therapy. I'm still here, @l!ve bc of my friends.

You need new friends.
Have you talked to ur parents about this?

[proud dust]

I don’t find it offensive I know they are assholes, I would’ve left already but I wanna get my shit back from one of them cause ik if I leave I won’t get it back. I don’t know why I even joined the group again I originally joined back because my friend joined again after we both left and I thought it would be different, and so did she but it wasn’t different at all and she ended up leaving and I’m going to do the same when I get my stuff back.I haven’t talked to my parents about it too much but a little bit, I just don’t feel like talking about it it because I don’t feel comfortable talking about stuff like that with them that much because long story short I tried to open up to them and they wanted to send me to DLC(it’s a mental health place but they are really really shitty, my friend has been there) but honestly ik im kinda going all over the place with this but ive never know what its like to actually have friends that care, when i left this friend group i went with another friend of mine named crane and well lets just say they made me feel worse, first of all charged me 50 bucks a week for them to take me to and from school which is already fucking insane and secondly when I told them I was ||hurting myself|| they told me ||”oh, well you know which way to go for results”|| cause apparently I was doing it the wrong way?