Over thinking.

[charred dew]

So, this girl from my class recently started to text me. She's shy, and nice. I just dont know what to think though. Did she message me because she likes me, or does she want to be friends? She laughs and the small things I say, and we've only really been in the talking stage. I could be overthinking this, infact I know I am, I just wanted to think someone would love me like my parents do. I just dont know, since this is also making me requestioning my sexuality again.

[heavy jetty]

For what it's worth, we don't fully know what her true intentions, motives, and reasons are. Technically, it's important to note that she has shyness, not just awkwardness. Accordingly, shyness emerges from a few key characteristics: self-consciousness, negative self-preoccupation, low self-esteem, and fear of judgment and rejection. Shyness is what pretends to be a personality trait. As it turned out, it's a type of mask where everyone can protect themselves from being known? How did they do that? According to the Newport Institute, "People with RSD have strong reactions to rejection, criticism, disapproval, failure, or the feeling of having disappointed others." Those who may not be familiar with RSD. It's an essential term, which is shortened to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Some individuals, however, feel the sting of rejection much more acutely than others and also have an exaggerated fear of being rejected by those around them. "I kind of understand why you're overthinking. But somehow, shouldn't you already stop questioning your sexuality again? Nevertheless, there's no point in asking, 'What if I'm pansexual?' or 'What if I'm not?' Just get this over with and move on. I suggest you ask, 'What's the point of her messaging me at this point?' although it'll come across as meddling, if you exactly know what I mean by that."

[heavy jetty]

I would like to enlighten you. Get ready, you are the redeemed.
A shiver passes through you as unseen fingers dance across your skin. They remember the violence you inflicted on them. And yet they don't return it.
I offer you absolution, and you take my hand in yours.
You felt the pain you caused another, and you were willing to sacrifice everything you thought was you to set me free.
Without sin, there is no redemption.

[charred dew]

Very good writing, except I basically understand 70% percent of it.

[charred dew]

Also extremely good advice, thanks. I've actually started to just not really be paranoid about it, and not over think our little chats.

I think most likely I'm Bi-sexual, just because of my original reaction. But I feel like that we're more of friends than anything else, since I don't really see her as anything more I think. Although I don't know about her still, time will tell I suppose.

[heavy jetty]

The time is ticking as soon as you began to realize how much you don't know what is actually happening.

[heavy jetty]

Time likes telling half-truth, right?

“A half-truth is even more dangerous than a lie. A lie, you can detect at some stage, but half a truth is sure to mislead you for long."