tw: suicidal ideation, swearing

[raven raven]

i dont even know where to start. i feel stupid for even writing this. i have it better than most people, so i shouldnt be writing this. but i fucking hate myself. i hate who i am, i hate my life, i hate everything. no wonder my favourite character is the most hateful one.
my life wasn’t much better before 2025 but at least i didn’t hate myself. at least i wasn’t getting suicidal thoughts every day.
2025 changed me completely, thanks to one guy. this guy made me give up on love and relationships. this guy made me give up on my dream career. this guy made me a completely hopeless mess. ONE GUY turned me into this. he’s the fucking reason i hear “||i wanna sh00t myself||” repeatedly in my head every day whenever i think about him or how my life won’t be anything special. i dont even want my dream career and relationships anymore thanks to him. i’m not worthy enough for them, so i’m not gonna waste my time on it.

dont bother giving me advice. i’m stubborn and stupid and i’ve already accepted my life will be nothing like i’ve ever dreamed of, so i wont be taking any. all i want is someone to listen.

[woven nymph]

i know you said dont bother with advice, but guess what, im stubborn too, and ill ive it even if you dont listen to it, it doesnt matter if youre off better than other people, what matters is how you feel, and believe me, ive been there with the suicidal ideation, and i thought i would never get free of it, and it took me almost 3 years to get out of that ditch, an i know it fucking sucks, it feels endless, the pain feeling like a broken record, but please believe me, it gets better, sure itll take forever, but it does, dont try and push yourself too far to fast, but you need to at least try and start rebuilding, fuck the other guy, are you really going to let him stop you? because you shouldnt, start by focusing on trying to find things you love doing, bit by bit, you will get back in the rhythm of it eventually you can achieve your dreams, it sounds fucking corny i know, but if things got better for me, they will get better for you, take it easy, good luck, and im really fucking sorry that happened to you, if you want to reply to my bullshit, ping or dm me, im usually free to chat

[raven raven]

well, thank you for your response. i appreciate your belief in me but i’ve got a pretty bad combination of traits that don’t make it easy on me to actually start doing anything you asked me to. i’m sorry, maybe one day i’ll actually do something, but not today.

[woven nymph]

dont be sorry, either way, good luck