it was monday today, and i thought, since its a crappy day, why not make myself feel better? so, i put on some mascara, eyeshadow, and eyeliner. very simple. anyways, i get to school, and one of my guy friends says my makeup is too much, and that i look better without it. i was like "yeah well, i dont care, i wanted to wear it." and he says "its a compliment" and i say "okay, but i dont care, i wanna wear it" then out of nowhere, he says "dont want the compliment? fine. you look like sh--." so that hurt like a lot, but i tried to ignore it. then another friend comes and sits and he starts mocking my eyeliner saying like "oh pretty b---- wearing black lines" or smt like that, and then my friend who just said i looked like sh-- daps the other guys up and says "thats what im sayinnn broo" like wtf?? but i didnt care because they're teenage boys, and some of them have no maturity. BUT THEN MY FEMALE FRIEND COMES AND SAYS "whats that sh-- on ur face?" like dam okay, ig self expression isnt a thing anymore. and its not only that like today i was sitting at lunch with my usual friend group, and like NONE of them talked to me, not even when i tried jumping in, so i gave up. then, one of my friends finally said my name, but apparently it was to get me to move over to let her other friend sit. like i literally put so much effort into making sure people feel included, so why cant people do the same for me? like what? istg ive been through this loneliness crap for so so long im so tired of it. srry if i yapped im having a mental breakdown rn.
#im so so tired of being social
fervent compass
verbal anvil
God I’m sorry you’re dealing with that
fervent compass
God I’m sorry you’re dealing with that
thx it crappy af i hope u never have to go through this
verbal anvil
I’ve been there actually it’s awful
fervent compass
yeahh i swear i cant do anything without someone judging me or pushing me out
verbal anvil
Yeah I get you people are judgmental af
fervent compass
i hope ur in a better place now??
verbal anvil
I’d say so it took a lot to get here though
verbal anvil
It really is
split lava
it was monday today, and i thought, since its a crappy day, why not make myself ...
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