supple loom
Ive had this bottled up for a few weeks now but I figured i may as well vent about it not so privately. The topic of my identity came up during conversation a few weeks after and my mother just gave me a face of ( ? ) i had alrwady told my afther and assumed my mother knew I gave her a brief synopsis on everything and her only reaction was going on about how she would drwss like and axt like a boy in highschool to the point where people thought she was a guy. She hated it and "knows" im not actually Trans and she heavily implied the "its just a phase" life moved on until I wanted to address something with her privately.
About a week ago:
"mom, im going to start Testosterone"
"What? Why would you want to do that????
Because I want to be a man,I dont want to be a girl
Why
I dont really have a response for that
Well you need to- doctors aren't just gonna give it to you, you have to have a reason
I get that mom but I need time
You know you'll never be a real man right "..." at this point forward I lost all faith in my mother and plan never to speak to her about it again
Do you think you're gay?
I shrug
You never really be gay because you're not actually a man, you'll always be a woman, people aren't going to want to be with you because youne not going to have male anatomy.
To summarize, I was essentially told by my OWN MOTHER:
Youll never be a real man
Noones going to love you
Its just a phase
To everyone out there who thinks they aren't valid, the opinions of others dont mean shit, you can make it. Keep going, you will find lots of people who love and accept you. I love you fot exactly who you are.
Feel free to dm me if you need someone to vent im not very good at replies but im a damn good listener. Have a good day!
fast zenith