I switched back to being a man yesterday because I thought I had to be one due to all the doubt and paranoia that I was feeling when it comes to my gender. So why do I feel even worse off now that I am back to being a guy? I should be happy, not depressed. So why do I feel like my heart was ripped out of my body?
#I am so confused
dim harness
worldly spoke
You might not want to be man or a woman at all! You don't have to identify as either if you know you truly don't feel comfortable with it!
I felt the same way for a while being ftm - mtf and now I use Xenogenders to express how I truly feel about myself
And even sometimes while use Xenogenders I might feel off about those too so I try to find something I think represents me most like being Genderfluid
dim harness
And even sometimes while use Xenogenders I might feel off about those too so I t...
I hate being identified as genderfluid. I know for certain that it is a static gender. I just struggle to give it meaning.
worldly spoke
I hate being identified as genderfluid. I know for certain that it is a static g...
That's perfectly fine! Im just speaking from my experience sorry if I made it seem like "hey you MUST be genderfluid immediately!" 😭
dim harness
You might not want to be man or a woman at all! You don't have to identify as ei...
Being a man is supposed to be way easier for me. I can last for at least two weeks at a time as a man. I refer to myself by my legal name all the time. I just don't know why I feel awful about it. I should have been able to let go of the idea of being a woman, and yet I can't.
storm shard
Not sure if it would help but IME what helped me personally was focusing more on my bodily dysphoria and what I desired to look like physically instead of any random internal sense of gender ^^ Sometimes defining it by material things is more helpful than not, depending on the person. I wish you luck 🍀
storm shard
Being a man is supposed to be way easier for me. I can last for at least two wee...
You know, you don’t have to force yourself to be something you’re not and don’t align yourself with
dim harness
Not sure if it would help but IME what helped me personally was focusing more on...
That is the thing, I tried focusing on my body dysphoria too. It is just that I feel awkward and uncomfortable wearing women's clothing and makeup.
dim harness
You know, you don’t have to force yourself to be something you’re not and don’t ...
I don't know what I align with. That is the problem.
worldly spoke
Being a man is supposed to be way easier for me. I can last for at least two wee...
Yeah I get that, you shouldn't be feeling awful about who you are! You don't need to put yourself in a specific category you have alot of time to figure it all out !
storm shard
You can always be a woman without wearing clothing deemed for women if it helps to hear
And makeup etc
worldly spoke
You can always be a woman without wearing clothing deemed for women if it helps ...
Yeah I agree !
dim harness
You can always be a woman without wearing clothing deemed for women if it helps ...
But I will look like a man if I do so.
storm shard
Many many ideas of how women should be and look are patriarchal, you should just do your own thing and be yourself. Define what femininity is and means for you, not base it on what society thinks.
worldly spoke
But I will look like a man if I do so.
Do you like looking feminine or masculine or just something in-between?
storm shard
Society at large does not have trans people’s best interest at heart. You know yourself better than anyone else.
dim harness
Do you like looking feminine or masculine or just something in-between?
I like looking masculine.
I'm supposed to be a man, you see.
I'm supposed to be happy as a man
I'm supposed to be okay as a man
Why is this so hard?
worldly spoke
I like looking masculine.
I have a friend who likes to look and dress masculine but she also identifies as a girl
worldly spoke
Why is this so hard?
It's ok! You're a human being with feelings! You don't have to be a man if you don't want to be
dim harness
It's ok! You're a human being with feelings! You don't have to be a man if you d...
I want to be a man. I need to be a man. I just struggle to accept that.
I want to be called "Sir" and "Mister"
worldly spoke
I want to be a man. I need to be a man. I just struggle to accept that.
You don't need to be anything that doesn't feel right to you.
dim harness
I want to dress masculine
I want to be seen as a man
I'm sick and tired of being a woman
Or nonbinary person
worldly spoke
Or nonbinary person
So you just want something to align with and you find that to be being a man
dim harness
I just don't know why I feel awful about it
dim harness
So you just want something to align with and you find that to be being a man
Yes!
I refer to myself as my legal name all the time
I have the easiest time being called that
worldly spoke
I just don't know why I feel awful about it
I think it would be alot better to talk with a therapist on it. We can help you but not in a way a professional would
worldly spoke
Sorry to bother you
Oh no it's not that at all!!
worldly spoke
I just needed to vent
That's not what I meant I'm sorry. I just meant I think venting is perfectly fine but I don't want you to take the things I say and i end up making you feel worse!
I'm trying to help in the best ways I can because you're struggling and even though you're a complete stranger I can sympathize with you!
Sorry if I made you feel like a bother because you're everything but that! Sharing your feelings isn't a crime and it's a good thing to open up to people!
dim harness
I just never felt right when identifying as a woman
And I struggle to accept myself as a man
I can't comprehend what it means to be nonbinary either
I don't know what I am supposed to do with a nonbinary label
worldly spoke
I can't comprehend what it means to be nonbinary either
Being non binary to me is you don't feel female nor male but something different entirely
It's like how I identify with Xenogenders because at times I don't even feel human
dim harness
I know I can do whatever I want as a nonbinary person. It is just that to me if I want to be nonbinary it would be better to be a man instead.
dim harness
Being non binary to me is you don't feel female nor male but something different...
How am I supposed to comprehend that? All I know from life is how to be a man or to badly be a woman.
Genuine question btw
Not trying to argue here
Just curious
worldly spoke
Not trying to argue here
Oh don't worry I completely understand!
worldly spoke
How am I supposed to comprehend that? All I know from life is how to be a man or...
That's basically how I felt growing up. I was told I can only be a man or a woman. But to me when you identify as something it's supposed to be how you feel in your heart. I've been though a lot of phases and I still am it's just apart of growing up. I think you should try learning and exploring more gender identities until you can find one you feel totally comfortable in!
It's not an easy thing to comprehend it's pretty unique so I understand where you're coming from!
You don't need to specifically identify as a man if you know you're not fully comfortable. You could be a Demi Boy, even if not then you don't need to put a label on how you feel at the moment. You should tell people how you want them to refer to you as until you can figure how you truly feel!
dim harness
That's basically how I felt growing up. I was told I can only be a man or a woma...
I'm feeling a lot better now. I just had to sleep it off and now I am fine. Thanks for your help tho.