I don't know anything anymore

[vernal moat]

bad English warning

another Valentine's day passed and I'm still here, single. the problem isn't exactly that I am single, it's because I am alone. all my friends are happy with their partner and my mind is killing me.

there is a person that I like, and they sometimes act like they feel the same, but I don't know if it's true anymore because yesterday I heard them saying they like a friend of mine, and this made me want to cry so hard

why does this happen to me? why does it have to happen to me? I feel like there is no one waiting for me, like no one cares about me, not just because of this but everything that is happening these days.

I tried killing myself yesterday, and I swear that I swallowed everything I could, but I didn't die. why am I still here? what is my purpose? to suffer? why does it have to be so hard to feel loved or even wanted? if I die, who would care? my parents would be grateful for it, my friends would at maximum be a bit sad but next week would hang out together like I never existed in the first place.

I hate myself and everything about me

[shrewd comet]

Hey,

trust me, you have a reason to be here. Sometimes you will suffer, but stick it out, trust me, things will get better, and maybe you'll have a chance to help some people get better too. while it might seem like the world hates you, and you don't belong, you have the lovely community of this server!

I know it just seems like everything is against you, but you WILL find your place in the world, you just have to try a little longer. you'll always have this space to talk, vent, or whatever! and sometimes it seems that your friends have it so much better, but maybe they're going through it too, and just putting on a smile.

everyone has dark times, and as much as it sounds dismissive, that's a part of life. maybe it'll be longer then you want, but it'll be so much better when you realise that you can enjoy things.

trust me, you're not a burden, and people DO care! sometimes you just can't see it.

I'm here to talk, if you want.