spice laurel
So just a few warnings
TW- SH
Suicidal Thoughts and intentions
Depression?
(Sorry for bad grammar exc I’m not good at paragraphs lol)
So, I’m a trans pangender (AFAB). I got by any pronouns exc but for the past 3-4 years, I’ve been feeling upset and sad all the time and when I’m not, I’m feeling empty or like there’s no hope. I often have suicidal thoughts and have recently went to SH in hopes it could possibly make me feel something yk? But anyways, I find it to be like a chore and as if it’s the end of the world whenever I do something normal such as just things like getting out of bed or even bringing plates downstairs or looking after myself. I have recently started to think maybe I’m depressed and have asked people older than me who have depression or who would understand and even some friends my age and they all think I do since I’ve explained these things to them as well. Another thing to know is when I tend to get better, I put myself back into this horrible state of mine and I’ve become comfortable in being upset or feeling nothing at all. Recently, my parents have been listening to me but are getting tired of me crying all the time or venting and I understand but at the very least, I’d expect them to think of me having atleast some sort of depression or something right? I’ve been to doctors and a while back I had councillors but they started blaming all my issues on my autism. I’ve talked to my mom and grandmother about me possibly having depression and they both said maybe but it’s probably just “hormones”. My dad on the other hand said I don’t have it and I’m just sensitive and honestly that really hurt me because he knows I’ve been struggling for years. Is there anything I can do to make them understand or maybe even try to see if I do?
Thank you for reading, any help is appreciated greatly
dapper sparrow