I came out to my dad after he asked why I joined the lgtbqia+ club at an event, i told him and he started crying. He ran to his room and slammed his door. He now seemly forgot the incident and forgot that I'm gay. Hes saying very homophoic things about other people. I need to come out to him again so he can stop saying things about other people but I'm too afraid to now.
#Coming out as gay.
dusk pecan
upbeat plank
Imma just say with a reaction like that take it slow give it sometime but that’s just my opinion as that is a very extreme reaction is he religious or involved with any religious groups or any places of worship?
dusk pecan
Hes Christian yeah
He doesn't go to church though or anything
I am also a femboy and my dad had screamed at me for hours after finding out that my sister had been giving me some of her clothes, he said how I wasn't right and if I wanted to be loved by anyone I had to dress "normal" and he angrily shoved my closet door open and barged into my sisters room and screamed at her for 1 hour. I dont know what to do because wearing masculine clothes makes me feel very uncomfortable like I'm trapped inside something I dont wanna be in.
And I dont know if I want to trust my gut or just keep obeying him
He refuses to let me talk in any conversation with him
upbeat plank
That’s confusing to me a guy who hates gays but not for religious reasons maybe it’s masculine thing then he feels he failed you due to you not being well in his eyes a man if you get what I’m saying most fathers want there sons to be just like them so seeing this and hearing you say your gay could have confused him but the anger part I can understand as that’s a common reactions it’s the crying part which confuses me like he lost someone if this makes sense it’s just want I think
dusk pecan
Its because he divorced his old wife just so he could get a boy to pass down the name.
upbeat plank
That’s why now it makes sense to me he doesn’t want the family name to disappear and I understand where he is coming from as I had the same fear it’s normal tho just cause your gay tho doesn’t mean you can’t have a bio kid there are ways for that and then boom family named solved
But some advice I will give you is fake it and if your old enough bring home a girl a friend of yours someone you know that he doesn’t say she is your girlfriend and gauge his reaction and then slowly introduce him into it as this takes time lots of time
upbeat plank
Wait he did? Is it a last name you know and was this before or after you came out
dusk pecan
He changed his last name before I was born. He simply just changed it from what it was
My sister is lesbian but he only seems to care about the fact that I'm gay which that's how I know this
upbeat plank
This is a personal question which you don’t have to answer but did he have a good relationship with his father
dusk pecan
His father died from painkillers overdose
He didnt really see his parents and had to live by hinself
upbeat plank
My sister is lesbian but he only seems to care about the fact that I'm gay which...
It makes sense the wife takes the husbands name so your sister would take her partner name but your the son someone should take your name
upbeat plank
He didnt really see his parents and had to live by hinself
Was he abandoned when he was young?
upbeat plank
Earlier you said he divorced his old wife was she your mom?
dusk pecan
No, he found my mom and just married her just so he could have a boy
My mom seems to be sick of him but stays with him so we dont have a hard childhood
upbeat plank
Hm that’s confusing is he a practicing Christian even reading the bible and when he yelled at you did he mention anything religious
upbeat plank
What did he say when they yelled at you?
dusk pecan
He was saying about how I could only like girls
And on the other occasion he said how I cant wear girls clothes
upbeat plank
No religious reason?
dusk pecan
Not at all which is weird
upbeat plank
Now that’s confusing usually they use religion as a backbone to support there claim but he was yelling at you like a father would if he were punishing you like you did something wrong
If I may ask was he present a lot in your life or was he more withdrawn
dusk pecan
He is present a ton
He has intense anger issues. And after he's done insulting me he sees me cry and starts acting like he did nothing wrong.
upbeat plank
Very personal question so imma use a scale are you between 15-18 as I want to know if he is yelling at your thinking your having a phase or if he thinks your for real as I’m trying to understand his point of view
upbeat plank
He has intense anger issues. And after he's done insulting me he sees me cry and...
Want do you mean he acts like he did nothing wrong what does he say?
dusk pecan
He starts comforting me after screaming at me about a few minutes later.
He starts saying stuff like "I wasn't trying to be mean" and the next day he does the exact same thing.
upbeat plank
Was his parents religious?
upbeat plank
Have they given you issues?
upbeat plank
I’m lost then and I’m tired I can continue to help you tomorrow but for now take my advice bring a girl home and sell that image and tell me what changes when you do it
dusk pecan
okay
old zodiac
Bro, i think your dad needs therapy