How do I cope with wanting to perfect?

[serene belfry]

Hi! I’ve noticed one of my biggest problems about my self image is that I always want to be the best in everything, even if I hate putting work in (because I don’t like to.) like especially today, I was in my musical theatre class, we were doing tap (a dance style I hadn’t done in like…2 years with this teacher)

I’m in the highest level right now for musical theatre (I just transferred from the lower level with a different dance teacher) and I hadn’t even heard of some of these things, people were like…perfect at things, even the kids from the younger class who were doing make-up classes were doing it well. I felt completely uncomfortable and honestly…kind of worthless. It was at a familiar fast pace, but it came very hard to me (especially as someone who’s been doing ballet for about 10 years.)
I felt like an outsider and I actually started crying, I made it through the class okay, I tried my best but it was just so…overwhelming. It could be that it was crazy loud, but I mostly think it was because of me not being one of the best.

I always am jealous of others when they’re better than me, and I hate it. I just want to be happy for people.

How do I even try to make myself be okay with not being perfect?

[fickle creek]

I feel you, it definitely took me a long time to get out of this feeling and social media sure didn't help. Start doing things because you like it and not because you need to be good at it. Realize that you can't be perfect in everything and most importantly that you are allowed to have a learning curve. You don't have to be perfect on first try. Instead you can note every bit of progress you make, or how you feel after each session (did you enjoy this dance).

I especially know how hard it is to stop comparing yourself to others. People around me kept telling to "just don't care". Even though I know they are right, they don't know how difficult it is to not care when you've been in competitive mode your whole life. That's something you can work on though. For example, seek other qualities in people that don't relate to their dance skills. Find qualities within yourself that you can't compare to others as well.

Also competition in most domains is pointless. You will not automatically go places in life because your dance skills are better than others, you have to have other skills as well, luck, and friends.